The Major Components that Help Build Self-Confidence
How to Avoid that Feeling of Void after an Accomplishment
The Major Components that Help Build Self-Confidence
How to Avoid that Feeling of Void after an Accomplishment
Photo by Rana Sawalha on Unsplash
All of us have faced this situation at some time in life. We have so much to be grateful for, yet we easily slip into a negative loop with one small drawback. We lose self-confidence and languish.
We often see great achievers who reach the top of their careers, achieve fame and success, but suddenly give everything up and choose to lead a life of austerity. I have often wondered why that happens.
A deeper dive into the traits of these famous men revealed some interesting aspects of the personality attribute called confidence.
Facets of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is the way we perceive and present ourselves to the world. It is the belief in our abilities, convictions, and decisions, and is based on various factors and life experiences.
It comprises several facets like self-esteem, self-efficacy, body language, and social confidence.
The major factors that cause a dent in our self-confidence are: Non-alignment of our actions with our core values, loss of self-trust, and lack of self-growth.
Steps to Improve Self-Confidence
Self-Confidence can be protected and enhanced by following some simple steps:
Alignment of Actions with Core Values
When our core values do not align with our external actions, we face a certain emptiness inside us, in spite of the success, which is quite baffling, and makes us wonder why it happens.
We, as human beings, have certain needs and core values that make us human. These values help us make decisions or make choices, which in turn lead us to take actions.
These core values may be love, gratitude, and compassion for some. For others, it may be growth, stability, or healthy, mindful living, etc.
Many times, the pressure to achieve or succeed will make us take certain decisions which may lead to wins externally, but internally we do not feel comfortable. We are not happy with the success, but rather a feeling of failure ensues. Our self-confidence starts to wane.
When our external actions match our internal beliefs, we build self-trust, which is the foundation of self-worth. When we maintain an identity that is consistent with our core values, people will respect us, which in turn boosts our self-confidence.
The example of Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard comes to mind. He transferred ownership of his company to a specialized trust dedicated to fighting climate change, after recognizing that the pursuit of short-term profits could compromise Patagonia’s environmental mission.
Similarly, Jamshedji Tata, the founder of India’s Tata Group, is remembered for dedicating a remarkable share (99.9%) of his wealth to philanthropy.
These examples show that when actions are aligned with core values, success becomes more meaningful.
Self-Trust to Improve Self-Worth
Another important reason for loss of self-worth is losing self-trust. We make promises to ourselves that we will do some things like eat healthy, exercise more, meditate, etc., but fail to keep up with the promises.
It is then that we lose faith and get the feeling that we will never keep up with the promises we make to ourselves, and feel bad about it. This leads to a weakening of self-worth.
When we practice having belief in our ability to accomplish specific tasks and goals, we develop faith in our competence and can achieve more. Self-esteem is the foundation of self-confidence. It comprises the faith that we are worthy of success and happiness.
The solution to maintain self-worth is to set attainable goals and take action to achieve them. It will not happen overnight. We must practice consistently, acknowledge wins, and focus on the positives to see effective results.
Constantly practicing gratitude and spending time with like-minded positive people helps in having a positive state of mind.
Non-verbal cues like posture, eye contact, and gestures also play an important role in projecting confidence.
So is social confidence, which is feeling comfortable in social situations, interacting with others, and expressing our thoughts and opinions, and the ability to assert ourselves without being overly aggressive or passive.
Self-Growth as the Catalyst
The other important factor that affects self-confidence is self-growth. When we fear getting out of our comfort zone, we stop learning new things. The fear of the unknown and of failure stops us from learning new things. Without learning, there is no self-growth.
When we start learning and building competencies, we start feeling good about ourselves. Then our self-confidence improves.
The first step is to remove inner blockades, the self-destructive patterns that have a negative effect on our lives. We must identify and remove them, and make ourselves open to change.
When we are set in our ways, change can be scary. But when these blockades get dissolved, our life circumstances change. W
When we maintain a positive outlook and bounce back from setbacks and failures, we develop resilience, which in turn helps improve confidence.
We learn by trial and error. We all make mistakes, but the key to success is to not get discouraged, but rather learn from them. When we love what we do, we stay interested in the work.
When we learn something new every day, pursue interesting hobbies, take on challenging projects at work, and observe and listen, we enhance our self-worth and self-confidence.
Taking calculated risks is known to improve confidence. We can also use constructive feedback to improve ourselves.
Role of Confidence in Personal and Professional Life
Confidence plays an important role in both our professional and personal lives. In personal life, confidence forms the backbone of healthy interpersonal relationships, contributes to emotional wellbeing, reduces anxiety, lowers depression, improves resilience and helps overcome life’s challenges.
In professional life, it helps in improved performance, good decision-making and negotiating skills, better leadership qualities, and crisis management, which lead to career advancement. It also helps to inspire and motivate team members.
Essence of Confidence: The Way Forward
Dear friends, hope I have provided some insight into the essence of confidence, and I hope you are inspired to take steps to cultivate this most valuable asset, which can help you in both your professional and personal lives, empower you to achieve your goals, and always be happy.
©️Vidya Sagar
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Written by Vsagar
Writer, poet, and storyteller with a postgraduate degree in English Literature. I write short fiction, poetry, and articles on health, wellness and lifestyle.
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Your reflections sound similar and so relatable. Makes me think about my past too. In the journey of life, we undergo so many changes in our thinking and even otherwise.
A very well written piece in response to the challenge.
Thank you for tagging me Vidya ji.1
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I lost myself in the hectic pace of life Trying to please, become something Just like the world wanted me to be Showing up to perform day after day With a strong resolution to always st…
Thank you for the tag Vidya. How often we lose ourselves in the crowd trying to fit in. Somewhere we look for ourselves and surface.3
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Vidya, thank you for taking up the challenge and writing this poem of introspection of what you were like in your younger days, and how you have changed.A very impressive piece. I am glad mine proved to be some inspiration for you to write this.2
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