Man4a! A Preacher’s Curse

Invocation

The Many Words To Describe God

Tavari had to get himself together, he felt repentant but was reminiscing about their first meeting. “God First… God First… God…”He repeated the saying silently under his breath, which made him appear to be praying from the pews. When the two-word mantra proved ineffective, Tavari practiced box breathing. He inhaled for six seconds, held his breath for seven seconds, exhaled for eight seconds, and then held his breath for nine seconds before repeating the cycle. It was a skill Ranya used during her group therapy sessions. “Nothing, like going without air to shock and reset your system,” she exclaimed to the participants at the end of their first day. Ranya originally recommended four-second holds, but that was not sufficient for Tavari. When things seemed unmanageable, he would increase the seconds almost to the point of lightheadedness. His current record was twenty-four seconds on his last exhale. When Tavari was in crisis mode, he gravitated to box-breathing before prayer.

Normally, this would have calmed him and refocused his mind, but there were too many eyes on him to go through the full progression. After the worship leader and praise team concluded singing the last stanza of Rock of Ages, Tavari stepped forward to the pulpit, pushing out the last portion of oxygen from his lungs. He adjusted the gooseneck mic to his jawline, inhaled and exclaimed, “As we pray.” As the assembly bowed their heads and closed their eyes, Tavari waited for everyone to settle before he invited the presence of the Lord in their worship service and hearts.

“Now dear Lord, as we come to you as a group, we lift your name on high and shout your praises from the soles of our feet to the crown of our heads.” ‘Thank you Jesus!’ Tavari was in full preacher mode, his worries and desires cast aside as the congregation supplied the typical call-and-response feedback to his opening prayer. “Lord, we honour you as a collective.” ‘Yes Lord!’ As if choreographed, the vocal dance between the members and Tavari was in sync as they affirmed each of his sentences. “You said where two or three are gathered in your name, there you shall dwell.” ‘Amen! Thank you, Jesus!’. “Lord, we are gathered as a multitude of two thousand.” ‘Yes, Father!’ “ We invite your presence into our hearts and this place.” ‘Yes, Mighty Lord!’ “Bless us, and receive our worship, touch each one of us, amen!” ‘Amen!’ Jilly was right, he had nothing to worry about, it was like riding a tricycle. After the invocation, he felt at ease and fully engaged in the medley of praise and worship songs.

The service was monotonous. After intercessory prayer, they would pick up the offering, have special music, and then it would be his turn to speak. The entire process was repetitive and lacked any variation. Tavari often wondered who came up with this format of worshiping God. He yearned to deviate from the established norms, but he faced resistance from the elders and senior pastor. The only instances where he was permitted to exercise flexibility within the rigid structure of the service were during his sermons. After Jilly sang her rendition of Way Maker, Tavari returned to the pulpit to deliver his sermon.

“I want everyone capable of writing or capturing their thoughts to conduct the following exercise with me.” Tavari wasted no time with the pleasantries, he was about business. “If you need something to write with or write on, please raise your hands and the deacons will give you a piece of paper and pencil. You could also use your devices if you prefer. “ Unlike his usual method of using a narrative to engage his audience, he took an unconventional approach. During one of his morning devotions, Tavari was impressed to describe his Saviour in as many titles as possible. Dumbfounded that he had come up with only twelve names in fifteen minutes, he spent the rest of his morning devotion fixated on the exercise. He wanted to share his experience with the congregation. His goal was to connect their personal experiences with action words, as well as to get them to think of their God outside their conventional wisdom.

“Does everyone have something to capture their thoughts?” Tavari paused in silence as he panned from the northern wall to the southern wall of the sanctuary. “Good! Good! For the rest of us, I have a simple activity. For the next five minutes, I want you to write down as many adjectives about God as you possibly can. Try not to borrow ideas from your neighbour. Write down the words that describe what God means to you, that’s it. Five minutes and as many words that represent God. Please be respectful of those that need silence to think.” He thought about putting a timer on the screens around the church but did not want to rush or overstimulate the anxieties of the flock. The pianist played classic hymns as if to serenade the tranquillity of the sanctuary. Except for a few unruly children and whimpering babies, the church was busy at work, praising God in another style and form. It was precisely how Tavari envisioned it.

He almost escaped the moments he tried to avoid, but then he remembered her smile. “Okay, that is it, that is our time.” He returned to the pulpit with enthusiasm in his voice. Tavari needed to keep doing. As long as he was engaged with others, his mind was not free to wander. “Now that we are done, I require some brave volunteers to raise their hands and wait for the deacons to get to you with the microphone. Now, while our brothers and sisters are sharing, I want the rest of you to check your list. If you like the word, write or type it down and start using it in your prayers and praise. Amen?” ‘Amen!’ What Tavari missed the most was involving himself in worship with like-minded, equally yoked individuals. For him, nothing was worse than Christians forcing themselves to worship their God in someone else’s worship language. He constantly felt stifled and alone by the rules and regulations of his denomination. He wanted to do ministry and worship his way, not in the traditional format. Likewise, he relished every opportunity to be different.