Postpartum, Ph.D and Parenthood

When I heard Girija Oak sharing in a podcast how Shah Rukh Khan quietly related to her “mom guilt” as a working parent, I realized something deeply important: everybody is giving their best to their children, and everybody has a story to tell.

So here is mine.

While going through the aches and pains of supervisors’ unfulfilled expectations, rejections on my work, and the physical pain of my stitches right after giving birth to my son, life felt unbearably heavy. The postpartum depression and emotional exhaustion that came along with it were too much to carry at times. The mistakes I made have now turned into lessons I will remember for the rest of my life.

Here are a few things I learned through that journey:

1. Spend on your convenience whenever possible. Make your life as easy as you can. As a new mom, search everything on the internet about the things that can help you with a newborn and buy them, even if they are only useful for a short time. The same applies to studies or work — get help, find resources, ask questions, and seek support from your surroundings. If possible, hire help so you can manage things more peacefully. Dependency can sometimes become emotionally exhausting, so create systems that support you.
2. Get out of the same room and same routine. Postpartum can hit very badly when you stay in the same room and surroundings for too long. Step outside, even for a short walk. Take your baby along, breathe fresh air daily, and give your mind a change of environment.
3. Filter everyone’s opinions. People will constantly give advice based on their own experiences and beliefs. Listen calmly, but do what feels right for you and your child. Accept what helps you and let go of what does not.
4. Stay positive before and after conceiving. Your emotional and mental state matters deeply. Try to protect your peace and positivity as much as possible because children absorb the environment around them.
5. If you are tired, ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to handle your baby for a while so you can rest, recover, or simply breathe. Rest is necessary, not selfish.
6. During sleepless nights, feed your mind with positivity. Read books, listen to spiritual podcasts, or engage in anything that brings peace to your heart. Your baby needs a calm, positive, and emotionally healthy version of you because they are too fragile to absorb constant negativity.
7. Most importantly: don’t leave your work or your dreams. No matter how difficult this phase feels, remember that it is temporary. This is not forever. Do not think that continuing your work means you love your child any less. In fact, having your own purpose and identity can make you emotionally healthier and more fulfilled as a mother. Don’t leave your job at any cast. When you completely lose yourself, frustration and sadness can slowly turn into anger toward your own life — and children can feel that energy too. Keep going, even if slowly. One day, you will thank yourself for not giving up.

Feminine Energy