(Not So) Short Thoughts on (Very) Short Haircut

Lately, a content creator would show up on my page. The contents are mainly that this married couple is living in a van, but when you click on the profile, the bio describes the elephant in the room (or more like, the comment section): “girls can have short hair too.” And then bam, immediate follow.

There is a profound peace in watching someone else exist so loudly in their truth. Seeing her, who will remain nameless because I literally don’t know her name as I assume she never addresses it on her page, reminds me of myself back in July 2022. A little context, I’m an only daughter and is the youngest of three. Throughout my childhood, my mother has always been so protective of my hair. We went to the salon for monthly creambaths, Vidal Sassoon was (and still is) the comb of choice, we would spend our afternoons walking around our old neighbourhood and pick up aloe vera grown on our neighbour’s front yard to be applied to my hair. And I’m telling you, my hair was shiny and soft, in the medium long length. This was the only hairstyle I’ve known my whole life. As I grow up, I’ve always wondered how I would look like with short hair, or at least in the same length but in different colour. But obviously, my mum was against it. My probable changed look was one thing, but losing the hair she had been diligently care for was another. Until, Covid came along. I was in my freshman year in 2020, we didn’t know how long the online college thing would go on. I begged my mum to allow me to dye my hair, saying even if it looks bad I’d stay at home anyways and no one would be around to see the failed attempt. Long story short she did. And I loved it! It was a light brown ombre. A couple of years have passed, and I was then obliged to attend offline classes for a short semester in my college which is located in the neighbouring city from our domicile. I would only be away from home for roughly a month. I remember vividly my best friend from high school has just left after crashing my crib the night before. I walked her out to the alley where it meets the main road. As she was gone, I looked to the right, and I noticed a saloon, that I have passed several times before. I truly didn’t know why. But I just had the sudden urge to walk there and took the decision that changed my life. Fleabag was right, hair is everything. We wish it wasn’t, so we can actually think about something else occasionally, but it is. Someone give me a clap for that reference! My hair was cut so short that people start calling me that I look like my brother. And I actually laughed with them because they’re right. Anyways, back at it, I videocalled my mum and man was she enraged. So was my oldest brother but, I couldn’t care less for the mean comments. Lmao. My motto then was, that I can always grow my hair, but I can’t always be 20 with my desired cut. Story of my life.

And so, I suppose it completely makes sense why I feel a wave of pride seeing her. I’ve gone through that exact transition myself; I know firsthand the pure, unmatched dopamine rush of sitting in front of a salon mirror, seeing inches of hair drop to the floor, and suddenly feeling lighter — both literally and figuratively. It was the moment I decide my hair, and hers, belongs to us and nobody else, not our family, not our childhood nostalgia, and definitely not society’s expectations. And has anyone told you about the amount of shampoo you could save? Hells yeah. She is a beautiful reminder that femininity isn’t a uniform. How comforting it is to see her dismantle the idea that ‘short’ or ‘boyish’ hair takes away from being a wife or a woman. If anything, that boldness makes the role feel more authentic. And let’s together redefine feminism. Feminism is entirely about autonomy, the freedom to choose how you present yourself to the world without needing to cater to the male gaze or traditional gender roles. Rocking a short cut doesn’t make you any less of a woman, it just means you’re defining womanhood on your own terms.

Additionally, it’s also beautiful to think that her husband’s approval of his wife’s short hair does not diminish his masculinity in anyway. Instead, he’s firm of it, and it shows exactly the kind of secure masculinity that the internet desperately lacks. It is incredibly refreshing to see public figures (and their partners) who don’t subscribe to fragile gender norms. Because why should they? After everything I said, one thing I should also point out is that her contents are as simple as it gets. Her daily and nightly routines with her husband, where she would make coffee in the morning, or dinners, buying groceries, and they’d go for a jog together when he’s off work. It’s amazing isn’t it, that through their content that are focused on the mundane beauty of daily life, they prove powerful points without ever having to say them out loud. They don’t waste energy making 10-minute video essays defending her haircut or proving his manhood. By just showing a peaceful, cooperative marriage, they demonstrate that their dynamic works effortlessly. The subtext is clear: We are happy, and your traditional rules don’t govern our joy. It’s their quiet confidence for me. Moreover, after following them for quite a while, the comment section especially in the more popular videos is almost a battleground. But I love that they never respond. They refuse to play the game. They treat her look as a non-issue, which is exactly what it should be. It shows that secure masculinity doesn’t require a wife to shrink herself or look a certain way to protect his ego. When people think of activism or breaking gender norms, they often picture grand gestures, long manifestos, or heated debates. But what she and her husband are doing is actually much more radical: they are normalizing it. It’s beautiful because it strips away the performance. They aren’t trying to be icons, they’re just living authentically.

I hope they know that amongst their viewers, there are some on the other side of the world, thousands of miles away, adoring and cheering for them to win in life. I genuinely wish them both all the very best. Her tag is @sah.van.girl on Instagram.