Discovering Stories: MidOne — “You need to help yourself. Nobody is coming to save you.”

by sayang

Yeik “MidOne” Nai Zheng is a unique story of a rapid return to esports and an instant leap back to the tier-1 level. A player people forgot about very quickly — because of the pace at which esports lives. And a player they remembered just as quickly when Tundra announced him as a stand-in.

In this interview, he talks about what really happened in Team Secret. Why after leaving he ended up in the wrong region and with the wrong people. How he went through several years of depression, nearly quit Dota, and what ultimately helped him regain confidence in himself.

This interview in video form is available here.

What’s your very favorite early Dota memory?

Playing with friends in a LAN cafe. That’s my favorite memory.

What heroes you liked to play back then?

Terrorblade pops up in my mind, so I would say Terrorblade. Back then, I always played 1v1 against my brother, and there was this rule of “only melee heroes.” So I’d pick Terrorblade, and he has a spell that turns him into a ranged hero. It’s basically cheating. My brother lost to me.

You’ve played a lot of games like COD, Tetris, etc. What made Dota special to you?

In the earlier days, I didn’t play COD at all. I only started playing COD during OG times, during COVID. I only played Dota back then. That was the only one popular MOBA game.

May I know where your nickname comes from? And why at some point it was a different spelling?

Oh, the Miduan and MidOne… At first it was a wrong spelling. It was supposed to be mi tuan. In Chinese, it means Enigma. Back then there was this player named YaphetS. He was very popular and he was the best Shadow Fiend. That was his in-game ID, and I copied it.

I was like, “I also want to use it.” When I became pro and people started asking me which official name I wanted to choose, I thought I needed to pick a name that fit me now. I couldn’t keep using that one — it didn’t sound right. So I chose MidOne instead, because I play mid and I want to be number one.

DotA — Perfect is Shit — a movie showcasing YaphetS Shadow Fiend that made him popular

How do you think you got good in Dota at the early stages?

I don’t know. If you ask me how I got good, I have no idea. I played every day and I watched YaphetS a lot. I wanted to be like him. Then one day, I suddenly became good. It was just there.

As I understand, at some point you were trying to both study and play pro at the same time. How did it go, and how did it end?

I mean, the study part is more of a traditional way, right? During that time, everyone was telling me that studying is a good thing, so I was like, okay, I’ll do it. It’s kind of the default — every Asian parent wants you to go study. So I studied and also played pro. I didn’t like studying, but I made it as a pro and it was working for me, so I didn’t have to study. That was the good part.

When did you quit studying?

I finished my foundation, actually.

The engineering thing?

Just a foundation in engineering — that’s what it says. I did finish it, but I didn’t want to continue, so I quit.

Do you think you’re competitive outside of Dota?

I think I used to be super competitive in a lot of things. But now, if I play a game, I just want to have fun. That’s me. I want to chill and have fun.

Are you having a lot of fun now after your comeback?

It’s okay. You get to play with good teammates, being on a good team. It’s good!

You placed top-4 at TI with Fnatic, which is one of the highest results of the region to this day. What do you think made that run possible?

I think now I have a different view. It might be because of compounding… progress — yeah, that’s the word. In Fnatic, we were always under pressure, you know? Our captain was Mushi, and the way he captained back then was very pressuring and stressful. The whole year was stressful.

TI is a super stressful event. Very high prize pool, and people are nervous most of the time. That gave us an edge. We knew we were shit from the start, so we had no expectations.

We just went in and played. Some teams choked worse than us, we got lucky, a lot of things clicked, and that’s how we got top four. We could have gone further, but I felt like we started choking when we were playing for top four.

You’re actually one of a few SEA players that I can think of who has more recognition in Europe than in SEA. Why do you think you’ve had more success in EU than in SEA?

I think Europeans just play better Dota and have a better surrounding. You have better opponents, better scrims, and a better work environment. In SEA, we don’t always play against the best teams, the playstyle of Dota is very different, and it’s not suitable most of the time. I’d also say it’s the culture — cultural differences.

What do you mean by that?

Europeans dream more, dream bigger, and aim for bigger goals.

Would you say you had the same opportunities in SEA and turned them down, or fewer?

Did I really reject them? I mean… yeah, during my time in Europe I did. But I came back for a few years, and as you can see, there were no results at all. We did qualify for TI and some Majors, but we got last place. So… what can I do?

What needs to fundamentally change in SEA for them to actually aim for top-3 at TI at least?

This question… oh my lord. People need to go through hardship, I guess. I don’t know how to put it. Maybe they need different education, and a different surrounding and culture.

While preparing for the interview, I watched a lot of the content you made, and it seems like you had a special chemistry with Puppey. Was it actually like that, and how did it change over time?

It was like that. I like him a lot. You can say I liked him into loving him. I think he was my brother, you know?

We went through hardship together. At first, there were zero salaries in Team Secret. I didn’t mind. I was fighting with him, fighting for him. Then we got a new CEO, things got better, and we started winning.

I literally did everything. I put all my heart and my mind into it, into making the team work. I didn’t leave during hardship. I got invited by OG a long time ago, actually. And I stayed with him, with Secret.

At some point, we departed not happily, I would say. After TI9 I was tired and I said I wanted a break, and he didn’t want to wait for me. So they got MATUMBAMAN and stuff. So I was like, “I guess that’s how it is.”

You said you didn’t part happily after TI9?

Not TI9. I think it was the second time when we were together. It was after ESL One Kuala Lumpur 2023.

I think he just didn’t value me. He didn’t know how to value people, how to appreciate people. That’s his biggest mistake. That’s why everybody always leaves him.

That’s what I think.

But you still refer to him as your brother?

Before, yeah, I would. Now, I’m not sure. I don’t know. I think he disappointed me too much. I mean, I’m disappointed in him too much. What he did was too much.

Do you think it will transfer into his coaching?

I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him for a long time. Maybe he realized something — I have no idea. Playing and coaching are very different, so he can be very different as a coach. I think he’s just a chill person when it comes to coaching.

I am sorry it ended this way.

Why? What is there to be sorry about?

Feeling unappreciated after being together for so many years is probably very painful.

Yeah, I guess. I don’t know if at the time he realized that. Sometimes people don’t see your work or forget who you are. It is what it is. Move on.

When you were saying that you made poor career choices after Secret, were you talking about the period when you played in SMG and OG?

Yeah. I think those two were poor career choices that I made, for sure.

Speaking of them, in a recent interview with Perfect World you said you played in the wrong region with the wrong people who didn’t share the same dreams as you. Can you elaborate on that?

My goal is to win TI, not just to be normal. And by wrong region, I mean the region is bad. You win SEA qualifiers, you go to tournaments, and you get last place — like, not even close, every time. So it’s kind of lame.

And playing with the wrong people, because when you put in the work and you’re super try-hard, other people don’t put in the same work. They don’t share the same goal. They have a different goal in life.

Did they tell you that themselves?

They don’t dream of winning TI anyway. They only dream of having a normal life. Just having enough money is good enough. That’s not me.

What were you trying to build with team SMG?

Building a dream, I guess.

Building the best team possible and winning TI with them?

Yes, yes.

How did it feel to have that responsibility, and what’s your biggest takeaway from that arc?

It felt heavy and pressured all the time. Every decision you make for the team — if it goes wrong, it’s on you.

If things didn’t go well, I felt bad for the people who trusted me.

I felt bad for ah fu. He’s my best bro. He gave everything into it, believed in me, and I couldn’t really give anything back. We only qualified to TI, so that was the best I could give him.

My takeaway from that arc is: don’t play with the wrong people, and remember what you like to do.

Did you bring ah fu to Secret the second time?

Yes, I recommended him.

As I understand it, he stayed there after you left. Did that affect your personal relationship with him?

No. Why would it affect it? I made my choice and he has his own choice, right? If he wants to stay, he can stay, of course. He doesn’t belong to me or anything like that.

On Twitter, you said you were depressed for a few years, and I’m really sorry about that. It feels like something many players go through but rarely talk about. Can you share what you think caused it and what helped you during that time?

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In my case, I just made too many bad decisions in life — bad career choices. I lost my girlfriend, who was like a life partner to me.

I made decisions I didn’t want to make, and I couldn’t take the consequences, the price. When time to pay came, I couldn’t take it, so I got depressed. I didn’t know what to do.

What helped was having people who were very close to me, who were there. They didn’t know how I felt, but they were there for me. They knew I was going through pain. People who never experience depression don’t know how to help. They’ll ask you questions, hang out with you — even if you don’t want to — they’ll just be there.

After that, everything depends on you.

You need to help yourself. Nobody is coming to save you.

Even if you have people who are close to you, it’s not like someone will check on you every day. Everyone has their own life. So help yourself and go to the gym. Force yourself to go to the gym until you’re okay.

Would you say you’re completely over it, or do you still have it in the background?

I think I’m over it now. It was still there before I joined MOUZ. Even when I joined the team, I think it was still there a little bit. But now I feel much better. It’s not really there anymore. Maybe 10% is still there, but I don’t really notice it. I’m in good shape.

At some point you said you were ready to leave Dota behind and never touch the game again. Why?

I couldn’t play Dota. Whenever I played, I felt pain. It just reminded me of the choices I made and what led me there.

I couldn’t face it.

It was too much. I couldn’t feel any joy when I was playing. How could I continue?

Have you tried to seek professional help during your depression time?

Not really, no, I would say.

Was it a conscious choice?

Yeah, it was a conscious choice. When someone is depressed, the first thing they think is, “How can you help me?” But some psychologist or professional or whatever — they never went through depression, right? It’s weird. How can you know how to help me if you’ve never experienced the same thing? It makes no sense.

Of course, they can offer words and perspective and let you see things in a different way. But during that time, is that really what you need? How can they connect with you? When someone is depressed, they need connection most likely — and they don’t want to connect most of the time.

So is this your perspective on therapy in general, or did you just know it wouldn’t work for you personally at the time?

I’m like Tom Cruise. I think Tom Cruise said the same thing — that he thinks the psychology thing is not real. I share the same idea right now. I ask myself this kind of question: when you’re in a high-stakes pressure situation, who would you seek advice from? A psychologist, or someone who has experience in the same situation and got better results? I would never ask a psychologist, let me put it that way.

[sayang”: In a 2005 interview, Tom Cruise said he did not believe in psychiatry and called it a pseudoscience. He criticized doctors for easily prescribing antidepressants, using shock therapy without patients’ consent, and giving drugs like Ritalin and Adderall to children. He said that even if these medicines help some people, they only masc the symptoms instead of fixing the real problem. Tom Cruise also said that chemical imbalance does not exist.

The interview mentions Brooke Shields. Shortly before that, she admitted she had taken antidepressants prescribed by a doctor, which helped her with postpartum depression. Tom Cruise strongly criticized her, and later apologized to her in person. Many people believe this interview led Paramount Pictures to end their long-term contract with Tom Cruise in 2006, though it was later renewed.]

I can see your perspective. During that break, did you think about what your next chapter could be?

I was learning trading — crypto, day trading. I was learning that. I didn’t have any results yet, and then suddenly I got called to stand in, and I was back in Dota.

When you got the Tundra stand-in offer, I don’t think I was the only one who was surprised by it. Can you tell me how you got that offer? How was that even possible?

I mean, 33 — Neta — had just won TI, then he left Liquid and joined Tundra. He wanted to make his own team with Saksa. They wanted to get bzm, but bzm had a contract, so he couldn’t be with them for three months, until the end of the year. They needed someone in the meantime.

They were thinking either me or lorenof, and in the end they took both. For me, I wasn’t really playing actively at that time, so people weren’t really sure about me. I’d been gone for a while. But Saksa wanted to play with me — he likes me a lot. He suggested me, and I played a tournament with them. After that, they took lorenof. That was the deal. That was the first stand-in.

The second stand-in happened because of the first one. Some of the players got to know me more, and they were looking for a stand-in. They felt good about me, and Saksa wanted me again. But this time, I was playing offlane. When they asked me, I was like… what the fuck.

I didn’t directly tell Neta that I hadn’t played Dota for four months.

I stayed quiet. I wasn’t sure whether to say yes or no. At that time, I wasn’t confident at all because I hadn’t played for four months. But I said, okay, why not? Fuck it. It’s not my fault if we lose. Just go for it.

How did you gain the confidence between when you said yes and when you actually needed to play the game?

Going into the tournament, I had no confidence. Or maybe the confidence was there, but it wasn’t solid. I wasn’t sure about myself because I hadn’t played pro for a long time, and I didn’t know how good I still was.

The first match I played was against Liquid in the playoffs, so I knew it was important. We went 1–2 against Liquid — we lost the series, but we did win one game with me. So I thought, okay, it’s not that bad. Then we won the second match, and my confidence started to kick in.

And when you’re playing with Saksa, you have confidence. The guy’s got you. He’s got your back, so you can just play your game.

When did the special bond between you and Saksa start?

I think it was back in OG. It was already there when we were playing together in the lane. He believed in me a lot. He thought I was one of the best offlaners the first time he played with me. He had played with many offlaners before, but he felt I was the best.

Then something happened — Ceb wanted to come back and all that. It happens. But the past experience was there, so we’ve always been friends.

We don’t talk to each other that much, but sometimes we do. We’ve always had a good feeling about each other. I always felt like Saksa is good, and he felt like I’m good. So it’s just there.

Do you feel extra pressure playing against him?

No. I think it’s fun. I think he feels the same.

If we ever meet each other, we just want to give our best. That’s how we show respect — by playing our best.

We don’t want to disappoint each other. I want to really show him what I can do, and I want him to show what he can do too. Win or lose, I think we’re happy with the result in the end, because we root for each other.

Would you change your role to offlane forever if that was the only way to come back into competitive Dota?

I don’t know. Let me think. If my life was bad — if I had nothing better to do, or no money — I would say yes, 100%. No brainer. That’s for sure. In my current situation, though, I’m not sure. It’s 50/50.

From your bio on Twitch, I understand that position five is the worst role you can imagine yourself in. Can you rank all roles from favorite to least favorite?

https://www.twitch.tv/midone/about

Mid > offlane. I don’t really like offlane, but at least I already know I’m good at it. Then pos 4, pos 1, and five.

You once said you were different from other top midlaners because you cared less about individual highlights and more about adjusting to the team. Has that approach changed over the years?

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I think my playstyle is still the same. I’m playing for the team, I’m not a selfish player. I don’t like to hit creeps — that’s me. Sometimes you’ve got to hit creeps, it’s fine.

But what I do in the game is apply pressure and let my team have a good time in the game.

That’s what I aim for.

Do you agree that Dota has now changed in a way that your mindset became the new norm, and midlaners with the old mindset don’t really fit in?

I think “personal highlights” is such an old concept. The newer generation might still think about it, but not that much. Now it’s not so easy to make those personal highlights, because people got better at the game and understand all the mechanics. People are realizing that other players know what to do.

I guess Miracle- is still thinking about that, but he’s not here. There’s nothing wrong with that, though. It’s just a different playstyle, a matter of how different players view midlane.

Between your two active periods of playing Dota, the game has changed a lot — Twin Gates, Wisdom Runes, mid small camp, etc. Which version of competitive Dota do you like more?

My favorite would be the very old Dota, around TI6. I don’t remember exactly when they changed it, but it was that map. That would be my favorite, because it was very new and very skill-dependent. There were only a few players who were super fucking good, like SumaiL. It was impossible to lane against that — everyone would lose to him.

You’d meet SumaiL and you’d already lost.

TI6 minimap

I like that map because I would want to go back and do it again, if possible. But I can’t. I’d want to redo a lot of things, but I can’t.

Do you think those specific map changes affect your role?

Of course. A bigger map already has a different impact on midlane. Before, the map was smaller. Now it’s bigger. Every place is different, the camps are different.

Would you say adjusting to these changes was natural or challenging?

I feel like there are a few fundamentals in Dota that never change, so not really. It just takes a bit of time to adapt. If you play long enough, you can adapt to things very easily.

Is there anything you actually like about the new map?

I like the Wisdom Rune for sure. I like that there’s high ground there. I also like that you’re not playing a clicking game anymore. Back then, it was kind of a joke — someone would just be a better clicker and you’d lose. Nice game. It made no sense.

Now it makes sense. If someone is coming, you contest it. It became a contest instead of a clicking game.

If there’s anything I don’t like, though, it’s neutral items. I don’t like the RNG aspect of it. Sometimes, if I’m playing carry, my best tier-one item is probably Duelist Gloves, and then tier-two shows a bunch of useless stuff I would never take.

Sometimes the enchantments are garbage too — like cast range, max mana minus, whatever. If you’re a carry, you want attack damage or armor. Attack speed is actually garbage sometimes, like plus 17. Wtf? It’s the worst enchantment, but it’s just there!

Then sometimes you get to tier three and you still don’t get Serrated Shiv, the best neutral item. It’s not there. Sometimes Gunpowder Gauntlet isn’t there either, so good luck — you’re stuck with the gloves!

That’s just pure luck. It makes no sense. How can tier-1 neutral item be better than tier-2/3 sometimes? It’s just RNG. The enemy team has real tier-3 items and you have a shitty tier-1. Or they get 100 GPM and you’re sitting mid with nothing.

Would you agree that runes also introduce an aspect of RNG into the game?

I mean, runes are definitely RNG, but I’m totally fine with runes because you can contest them. It’s RNG that can be contested. Can neutral items be contested? I don’t think so.

What’s your relationship with Yamich?

He’s like a bro. He was a bro, and now I think he’s soon becoming like a lover. I don’t know. Laughs. I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know Yamich for that long. We played in Secret, and we talked a bit after that, but we didn’t really hang out that much in real life.

But I’ve never met someone who believes in me that much.

He just believes in me without seeing.

Is it both about inside and outside the game?

We spend a lot of time together, most of the time. Right now he’s busy with his girlfriend though. It is what it is!

Do you think your playstyle depends on pos 4, and how much?

I think my playstyle doesn’t really depend on position four. It’s more like position four is adjusting to me most of the time.

My playstyle is like… If people don’t understand me, they’re going to think I’m feeding.

I don’t know how to say it. You need to understand what I’m thinking in the game, and then it will be very good. If you understand me, the game will be good. If you don’t, you’ll see me feeding and think, “What the fuck is this guy doing?”

Photo by Man Lok Fung for BLAST Slam V

Does Yamich fully get you in that sense?

Sometimes we don’t get each other, but we work on it. We just need to talk to each other, then we get the idea and we’re good. We understand each other very easily.

Is there something non-negotiable that you believe you need your position four to do in a game with you, and without it it’s hard for you to play?

I think it’s flexible. What is “non-negotiable”? That kind of means you’re right about everything, which I don’t think is true. I think things need to be talked through, discussed, and looked at together.

And what does a pos 4 need to do in the game to enable you the best — to be the best teammate for you?

Watching and doing what I want. Making sure his game is good.

What’s the team chemistry in MOUZ?

I mean, Crystallis is just being Crystallis. He’s just playing his own game. He calls for the big objectives, which is good — it’s something I don’t want to think about.

Then we have BOOM. BOOM is like a… zoomer, in a way. Just being BOOM. He likes to do whatever, and then we go, and we sync up together.

Celeri is just Celeri — a vegan, you know. He’s just a vegan. He’s just there, playing his game.

And Yamich is just Yamich. I don’t know — that’s just how I feel.

At what point in this team did you think, “Oh, okay, this team can actually perform at the very top and win tournaments”?

I never really thought that far. But I did think we had good potential once we were already together, even though it wasn’t clicking at first. For me, it was frustrating. I couldn’t understand why we weren’t clicking when I felt like we could be very good.

We lost the first DreamLeague qualifier — I remember that was rough. But I knew we were a new team, so it was normal to lose the first qualifier. After that, something clicked and we started winning. I mean, maybe we just got lucky, you know.

Any idea what exactly clicked?

It’s just luck. Sometimes you just need a few wins and the right heroes. You find your own identity, and then you start to win.

Now that you’re fully back in competitive, how do you feel about the tournament schedule, traveling, bootcamps, hotels, food delivery — all these aspects that came back into your life?

Those things aren’t managed by me. I don’t care. Everything is managed by MOUZ. I told them before that I don’t want to think about all that stuff. I want them to do it, and they’re doing it. That’s great. I never have to care.

I just need to tell them when I want to fly and things like that. The only thing that’s not fun is traveling. It sucks to travel 10-plus hours every time. That’s not fun. The rest is okay.

So, you’re not really struggling with the current schedule?

There will be struggles for sure in the upcoming months. There will be no break at all. Let’s say if we qualify for Birmingham as well, there will be like three months of tournaments nonstop. Hopefully we don’t get burned out, but let’s see what we can do.

If we burn out like the last DreamLeague, then you’re going to see some shit again. MOUZ is going to get fucked.

Did you actually miss any of these things?

I don’t miss traveling. I miss playing LAN tournaments. It’s nice to see other players and hang out with them.

What about the audience?

The only arena I really miss is TI — every TI. Especially KeyArena. TI6 was insane. That arena had a different feeling. When the stakes were high, the prize pool was high, and the pressure was there — that kind of feeling isn’t really there anymore. I don’t know how to explain it. It was just insane.

I wish they did something like that more often. It feels like they don’t really bother anymore. I don’t know — maybe it’s too expensive. I hope Valve can do something about it.

What’s going on between you and bzm? You always smile at each other, you always hype each other up, you even use each other’s profile pictures. What’s up?

When we played together, it was fun. I was playing offlane, playing for him. He was smashing mid, and we were having a good time. There was no pressure. Then we got close — we talked more — and now I’m sometimes playing mid against him.

It’s the same thing as with Saksa. When we play against each other, we want to do our best. No mercy.

When I spoke to tofu, he said something very interesting about ImmortalFaith. I want to know what you think about your coach.

Full interview with tofu

I think he’s funny right now. People say he’s strict — that’s what I heard before. People say he’s stubborn with his own ideas and stuff. There are a lot of comments, and I don’t really know which one to listen to until you see it yourself.

I also think it depends on how a person behaves around different people. It depends on who you’re working with. So I can understand why some people had those comments about him before.

In this team, he’s not that stubborn. He’s more open-minded. He’s open to seeing things. Of course, there are times when people are stubborn, especially at first when people don’t know each other yet. Everyone has their own ego. Everyone believes in their own stuff. It just takes some time to get to know each other and learn how to work together better.

But yeah, he’s a good coach. After all, we won a tournament together. So yeah — he’s a good coach.

Is there something he did that was special and made the team click and work?

He does things systematically. That’s the good part. That’s what Dota teams usually lack — and what they need.

Can you give an example?

For example, he sets schedules. He keeps in mind what we learn, keeps notes, stuff like that. Everything is decorated and organized, so you can always look back at it. All that stuff is good.

I saw on your Twitter that you played Genshin Impact. Do you still play? How did it happen? Why C6 Ayaka?

I started playing it randomly and ended up enjoying it. I think it was during COVID times. It was fun — something new. There’s a lot of story in the game that you get to explore, flying here and there.

C6 Ayaka — I got that just for fun, for rolling, or “gambling,” I guess. It’s not really a gamble, though, because you’re guaranteed to get it eventually. I just wanted to show that I have C6 Ayaka.

According to my calculation, using only real money and assuming average luck, C6 Ayaka would cost around $1,500.

Is she your favorite?

At the time, yeah. But my real favorite is Raiden Shogun — the lightning girl. She’s my real favorite because she’s hot. I don’t know. There you go. The way they made her, she’s just the hottest girl in the game. If you watch the trailer, it’s like, wow — I’m into it.

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I wanted to get her, but I couldn’t. They made it seasonal, so there was no way I could get her. Then I quit, because I didn’t want to spend too much time playing it.

My favorite was Shen He.

What’s her skill? I don’t remember her. I think I’ve seen her. Maybe she’s not important enough.

Maybe she’s just not as hot as Raiden.

What can I say? That’s what we play games for. She can be my… some guys like it when a girl is that cool — you don’t mind getting dominated. I want her to tell me to do anything. It’s a good fantasy.

I only see Dota players playing hard games like Diablo, Dark Souls, etc.

Are they really hard? They probably just like to grind. They like RPG games. As for me, I don’t like to grind. I played a bit of Diablo — 2, 3, and 4 — and I fucking hate 4. Diablo 4 is my worst experience. I’m going to say it’s the worst of the worst.

When it was just released, I started playing and I saw this build from some streamer who makes builds. When I’m not playing Dota, I don’t want to use my brain. I want to be brain-dead, so I just copied the build and almost perfected it. Then they nerfed it. They just released the game and kept nerfing it.

One night I’m playing, I feel strong, I’m having fun. I go to sleep. The next day, I don’t understand why I’m suddenly so much weaker — because I don’t read patch notes. I felt bad, didn’t want to waste the money, so I said fine, fuck it, I’ll make a new character. Different class — from assassin to barbarian. And the same exact thing happened again.

I was like, “What is wrong with you guys? Who makes games like this? How is this enjoyable?” The experience sucks.

I said fine, I’ll play another build again — and they nerfed it again. So I decided to just reach level 100 and never touch the game again. I wanted to reach something to make my money worth it, and I never played the game after that. This game is shit to me.

This is worse than real life.

It’s like I get a job, I get my salary, and then suddenly my salary gets deducted in front of me. I’m like, what? What kind of joke is this? Why would I want to work here? Fuck you. I’m out.

What would you say to a young MidOne — 14-, 15-year-old you?

Keep doing what you love. Enjoy what you do. And don’t think — just don’t think.

Why “don’t think”?

Thinking sometimes can lead to useless scenarios in your head and make you suffer. What you have to do is live in the present. Just do what’s in front of you. That’s all that matters.

Is there anything you would say to MidOne after he just left Secret for the first time?

I would say: rest. I understand you. It’s fine. There are times when people don’t really value you. Take the break, and make sure that when you come back, you keep doing what you want, what you like, and what you love. Don’t join a team just because they have good players. Remember your goal — and remember your name.

BLITZ

What’s your favorite song of all time?

Hillsong UNITED — Spirit Lead Me Where My Trust Is Without Borders (Oceans).

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Best Malaysian food?

Shredded chicken noodle. In Malaysia, it’s called chicken hor fun.

Very early in your career, you said the very first million dollars you win, you’re going to spend on bitches. Did you live up to that?

No, I did not live up to that. Too bad. This time, if I get another million dollars, I will spend it on bitches. This time, I will do it.

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What was actually the first thing you bought for yourself when you got the money?

I usually never spend anything on myself. It took me a while. I bought shoes — an expensive one. LV shoes. That was my first expensive pair, and my last until now. I just don’t like buying stuff for myself. I prefer spending it on other people, like family or friends. It feels better.

Do you still wear those shoes?

Yes. I still bring them out sometimes. But most of the time, I’m wearing useless shoes with no brand.

Who is the best teammate of all time?

Yamich. His name just popped up right away.

Is he the one you had the best synergy with?

Currently, yes, I guess. It used to be Saksa, but he’s a Yandex guy now.

Can you name five best midlaners of your generation?

s4 was definitely there. SumaiL. No[o]ne was there — he was insane for a few years. Is Topson my generation? I’m not sure. A lot of people wouldn’t say ana, but I would say ana. People think ana is shit, but I think he’s good. I don’t know what people are talking about. He won two Majors as a midlaner, then two TIs. OP.

When was the best version of MidOne — MidOne Prime?

Based on history, the longest streak was Secret 2019.

But when do you think you played your very best Dota?

The Grand Final against Liquid. My first Major win. I think I played my best Dota there because I bought Rapier and carried the shit out of my team. That BO5 was hard. Every game was insane.

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Do you look up to anyone right now?

Malr1ne. He’s younger, but I look up to him. He’s good. Very try-hard. He plays every day, 24/7. His lane is good — very consistent. I like him.

Who is the most annoying to lane against?

I think his name is Lumpy.

Why him?

Because he’s taunting non-stop. Very annoying.

If you could play only one hero for the rest of your life, what would it be?

It used to be Ember Spirit, but not anymore. Either TA or Shadow Fiend. Probably TA.

What would you say to IceFrog?

I don’t know — serious or not?

Up to you.

I don’t know… I’d say, get fucked.

Thank you for reading this interview! Even though I might disagree with some things, I have the deepest respect for MidOne — for overcoming depression and self-doubt, and for climbing all the way up, both mentally and Dota-wise. Let’s go, MOUZ~