False Charm

Could You Identify a Sex Trafficker? Most People Couldn’t.

I thought I could, but what I saw last night changed everything.

Photo by Sasun Bughdaryan on Unsplash

Most people think they would recognize a sex trafficker if they saw one.

That’s the first mistake.

We picture a man waiting in a dark alley, wearing a mask, waiting to snatch someone off the street. Maybe even a stereotype that we have seen on tv somewhere.

However, many predators don’t announce themselves with violence. They announce themselves with confidence.

Predators study their prey.

Although sex trafficking happens in every socioeconomic background, it’s more likely to happen in poor communities where money and resources are harder to come by.

These types of men use charm, money, promises, and opportunity to lure in unsuspecting victims.

Beware.

I witnessed a man like that last night.

There he was an older, dark skinned black guy dressed in a red and white short set with a matching bucket hat. He was at a table with two younger women and a young man. He was old enough to be their grandfather.

I didn’t think anything of it as I carried on my conversation.

Apparently, he was bragging about his connections, talking about all the people he knew and all the doors he could supposedly open. It all sounded good until a woman who actually worked in the music industry started asking him basic questions.

Questions he couldn’t answer.

He became angrier and more belligerent when she asked about the venues he performed in and how he knew some of the people whose names he mentioned throughout the conversation.

I noticed how increasingly disrespectful he became with her and I said, “Girl, leave that man alone, you see he’s not trying to answer your questions.”

However, she continued.

After his ego could no longer take her line of questioning he yells, “I don’t remember where all that shit is, “ I was too busy flipping skirts, I was pimping.”

I almost spit my drink out.

I admit, the combination of seeing him fold under pressure and his not so shocking admission made me laugh.

What a disgrace.

Here’s what people need to understand. Traffickers rarely begin with force. They begin with attention, they study loneliness, poverty, and insecurity.

They sell you a dream while listening to yours.

Then they present themselves as exactly what you’ve been waiting for. A mentor, boyfriend, music exec, modeling scout, businessman.

The man with all the connections.

At first, he may help you with your basic needs. Food, clothing, housing etc. Many times, this is all part of a larger criminal enterprise. Meaning, they have boosters to steal the clothes. Drug dealers to keep you high, etc.

He may even give you a small part in a movie role or a temporary job somewhere.

Then, he’ll ask for repayment as a way to prove your loyalty. That repayment is usually your body and your soul. He’ll take away your freedom to leave.

You’ll be verbally and or physically punished for non compliance.

According to Polaris: Poverty, unstable housing, and previous abuse are some of the biggest vulnerabilities traffickers exploit. In its National Survivor Study, 83% of survivors reported experiencing poverty before being trafficked, and 64% experienced homelessness or unstable housing when they were recruited.

This conversation is especially important in Black communities.

A U.S. Department of Justice study cited by Polaris found that Black women and girls represented approximately 40% of identified sex trafficking victims and survivors in the study, despite making up a much smaller percentage of the U.S. population.

Those numbers are staggering.

While there is no universal look for a trafficker, there may be some tell tale signs based on your area. Keep in mind sex traffickers can be any race, age, income level, and profession.

A sex trafficker can be your own family member or significant other.

Photo courtesy of Internet

I’m sure most of my readers are aware of the Diddy and Cassie case.

In fact, I met a sex trafficking survivor when I volunteered at a shelter for women and children. She was a small Phillipino woman with a live in boyfriend.

She told me that something didn’t feel right after she’d wake up. Yet, her boyfriend denied doing anything to her in her sleep.

It was actually worse than she thought.

One day she woke up to a strange man raping her. Her boyfriend was drugging and selling her body as she slept. He forced her to continue once she found out.

While sex traffickers don’t all look alike, there are certain patterns that expose them.

Watch out for people asking too many questions about your personal life. They will use a real or made up fact about themselves to gain your trust and eventually, use your pain against you.

Beware of men that put down women their own age. Men with multiple children by multiple women. Men that can’t or won’t answer logical questions regarding their business etc.

Many of these predators go after younger impressionable women, Especially young White girls because there is a high demand for them. Young black girls with no male role models around are also easy targets for exploitation.

Pay attention to men that degrade women in general. There are plenty of men that hate women due to their own unresolved trauma.

Avoid men that have 18+ content on their bio pages etc.

Beware of men that seem unusually involved in helping single mothers etc in the community. Unfortunately, some men secretly prey on women and children so they are in places that allow them constant access.

Watch out for young people or even older ones that try to isolate you from your friends and family. They want and need your complete dependency on them.

[embed]Clip courtesy of Youtube

Many men recruit victims on dating apps and social media so please either get off of those sites or take more precautions than usual.

Last but not least, if a man openly tells you he’s a pimp, believe him. Although some people lie about criminal activity, sex trafficking is not something anyone should joke about.

You can’t afford to take any chances out here.

I wrote this article because awareness isn’t about being paranoid, it’s about protection.

Predators don’t need everyone.

They only need one person to believe the lie.

Reader, what do you think?

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