Luck in curiosity, big things, and small ways

Change and adversity can make me give up. Or . . it can motivate me to find new adventures, new friends, and new happiness.

Marija Zaric (Unsplash)

“In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”

~Edith Wharton

This quote is a bit longer than I typically like, but it says so much to me at this point in my life that I couldn’t resist writing about it.

Long story short: I’ve been dealing with health issues over the past 4–5 years that could easily make me find a comfy chair, sit down, and declare myself permanently retired and rooted-in-place. Done.

And I’d be lying if I said that thought hasn’t crossed my mind more than once.

How I’m Lucky

But . . . I have been very lucky in a few key ways:

My beloved husband, with our cat Dapple in France in 2016

First and foremost, I have a spouse who loves me for reasons that, quite frankly, boggles my mind. He supports me, encourages me, and keeps me going. If you are lucky enough to have a life partner who is also your best friend? That alone should get you off your ass. It took me a while to figure that out. [I never said I was smart, but I did finally get it.]

Vitaly Gariev (Unsplash)

I became unemployed. That seems counterintuitive and believe me, when it happened it sure as hell didn’t feel lucky. I was no longer a full-time academic. And I wasn’t ready to be a full-time retiree. [Frankly, I’m not sure I will ever want that.] Not only did I lose my job, I lost my sense of identity. I’ve written about that (see my “Identity Rebuild” articles).

As I started to rebuild my identity, I also rebuilt what I do career-wise. I now have a virtual workshop company. I am building this Substack. I write on Medium. I am creating a suite of asynchronous courses on topics I taught in higher ed. I’m developing electronic products that I will market on places like Gumroad and Stan’s Store. And I’m writing books/microbooks.

Am I making a ton of money right now? Oh, no. Do I think I will make a lot of money this year? Nope. Am I a whole lot happier and motivated? Hells yeah. Make of that what you will.

Anastasia Zhenina (Unsplash)

I am naturally curious. About a bunch of stuff. [To be fair, I’m also not curious about a bunch of stuff.] But I love books. And this past year I have come to the realization that I love to write! As an academic, I wrote scholarly articles and books. And that was ok and to an extent, fulfilling. But now I get to write about things I’m personally interested in and I am having so much fun doing it. It’s joyful for me. It’s not earth shaking, I know. I’m not curing cancer. But I like to think that maybe I will write something that resonates with someone else, or helps someone else, or just makes them smile. That would be so cool.

I love music; I am an amateur musician and have been my whole life. I listen to all kinds of musical genres and not just the old stuff; I stay current. I have a love/hate interest in politics. I have an interest in the horror genre, writ large (literature, movies, streaming, video games, you name it). I’ve started drawing. I like to cook.

Me, on a ferry from Varenna to Bellagio, in Italy

However, one of the key things I’m curious about is moving abroad. Have been since my early twenties when I got to study abroad for a semester. Changed my life. Over the years, I’ve had the chance to live in various places overseas for short periods of time. Some of them were good experiences, a couple were very definitely mixed.

Here’s the interesting thing, though. Whether I was living overseas or just visiting, in every single case I was healthier. Full stop. I was more active. I walked places. I ate healthier. I took the stairs, not the elevator.

Given the health issues I have experienced here in the US, the thought of getting back to that lifestyle appeals to me on a deep level.

Which leads to the last “lucky” thing that’s happened. I met a couple of folks on Substack who I think may very well help change my life.

One of these people is Kimberly Anne, who has a Substack called Expat on a Budget. Kimberly moved to Portugal at 56 on her own (well, with her beloved dog) and no job. She has gone on to build a wonderful life for herself there. She has been an inspiration to me. She is warm, friendly, and extremely helpful. Her Substack has a ton of useful information, and she offers a variety of services to help others make the jump abroad as well. I recommend you take a look!

Ben Hies has a Substack called The Digital Citizen. Ben helps people like my husband and I who are thinking about the idea of retiring abroad. Ben is terrific and if you are even slightly interested in the idea of a life abroad, do yourself a huge favor and contact him.

At the time that I found Ben’s Substack, my husband and I intended to sell our house and spend a year visiting various US towns we had researched and then picking one of them as a retirement location. The idea of going abroad was something we talked about, but was really just a “back burner,” dream kind of thing.

However, the more I read Ben’s articles and the more we thought about it, the more a move abroad became real and exciting to us. [I have to be honest — the political and economical situation in the US has factored into our decision as well.]

We contacted Ben and in the end, we became clients of his. He has helped us in so many ways. The move abroad doesn’t seem daunting anymore. It has become a realistic opportunity. Something that we can actually do. Will it be easy? No, there are hurdles. But Ben has made those hurdles very clear and much easier to jump. Plus, he’s just a really nice guy.

[I’m not being paid to say these things about either Kimberly or Ben, by the way.]

Porto, Portugal / roya ann miller (Unsplash)

In the end, our plans have changed significantly. We will be going over to Porto, Portugal in the spring of 2027 for a month to really have a chance to see it and experience it. To make sure. If we come back loving it as much as I think we will, our move there will happen in the early fall of 2027.

Edith Wharton counsels us to be “interested in big things, and happy in small ways.” That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

A big thing? Pivoting professionally to do things I want to do and that align with the identity I am working to build for myself now.

The other big thing? Moving to a new country with new people, a new culture, and a lifestyle that will support a healthier way of living with the person I love most in the world.

The small ways come from a lot of things: music, cooking, drawing, scary books/movies, animals like my pets.

And then there’s my writing, which I’m enjoying more every day.

I hope you are too.

Kaitlyn Baker (Unsplash)