Getting to yes

There are a lot of techniques that improve the chances someone will agree to a request, so I think I will make this a series. Let’s discuss giving someone a title to help them picture themselves following through. I think the most often used example is voting. You can ask someone if they will vote tomorrow, or you can ask if they will be a voter. Giving them the title voter rather than using a verb suggests to their brain that they ARE something rather than should DO something. When the brain picks up on the title of voter, it wants to reconcile the title with reality and that person is more likely to follow through and vote to match their title of voter. If you work for a nonprofit, you can do the same thing with volunteering, or a teacher can ask for helpers instead of help.

Small tweaks to vocabulary can instantly improve the persuasiveness of your request. The environment, perceived importance and likability affect how persuasive you are.

Another way to gain supporters is to ask for a favor. It might seem counter intuitive to ask someone for something; some people might even think you need to give gifts to be persuasive but asking a favor can work. In my e-book An Introvert’s guide to Extroverting I relay a story about Ben Franklin. But a more recent example is an experiment by Jon Jecker and David Landy. They put on a fake contest and then asked the winning contestants if they would be willing to give the money back since the researcher was using his own money. Then the contestants were asked about their perception of the experimenter. People who had been asked for the favor were more likely to rate the experimenter better. If you genuinely need a favor from a co-worker you may think that asking for help will make you look less competent, or you’re bothering them. Though we may be tempted to put off asking a favor of someone, especially someone who doesn’t like us, the research shows it can actually improve relationships.

Another way to improve your influence as a business owner would be to get your clients to remember or come up with a list of reasons they are with your company. If a client has been with you for a while, the reasons they hired you may no longer be relevant. To re-solidify the relationship is to ask them to come up with reasons they are with your company. You may do this by asking them to complete a quick survey that asked for a reason or two that they are with you. Don’t make the request difficult like a list of 15 reasons- then they will associate the difficulty of making a list with your brand.

Asking for favors or asking why a client is with your company are simple ways questions can help you be persuasive.

Stanley Milgram conducted an experiment where he had a person staring up at a sky scraper. Most people on the sidewalk simply walked by. Next the experiment had multiple people stand together and look up, and this time people stopped to look up also. Seeing that something is worth looking at to multiple people was persuasive enough to make others stop their routine and look. You may do the same thing when you see a product with a lot of positive reviews, thumbs up or trending. Social proof is basically when we trust the opinions of others to consider doing something. You also see this demonstrated when a website shows reviews from real customers or lists of the companies who have purchased their service. This might be a more labor-intensive way to influence people into liking you or buying a product, but over time you can intentionally develop the connections. You may have used this persuasion method to get a job. Did you ever know someone at a company and ask them to put in a good word? You were using social influence to persuade someone to hire you. Or maybe you asked your friend if they liked the company before you applied. You friend was the social proof you wanted to feel it was worth the effort.