I Save Bugs From Drowning in the Pool

And other nutty things Ruby Lee does

Photo by Drew Dau on Unsplash

Do you love to swim? I do, and I spend about two hours a day in the pool. I could only wish that I looked like the woman in this picture, but sadly I don’t. I spared your eyesight from the real thing.

I exercise in the pool, and it’s the best thing for my joints. I’m in need of a hip replacement but have been told I’m too heavy for the surgery. While I’m in the pool, my mind races with thoughts of stories I could write, but unfortunately, as soon as I get out, it’s as though a windshield wiper has moved across my brain, erasing those story ideas.

The only thing that I haven’t forgotten is my ideas concerning bugs. Bugs are frequent visitors to my pool. I get flying ants, bees, yellow jackets, and beetles. They don’t make me happy. The flying ants are my worst enemy. They come out before and after a rain and have conventions in my pool. I might as well call it quits on those days if I want to swim. They won’t leave. If I try to swim with them, they swarm my hair, get in my ears, and some of them sting.

But the other insects, I am usually kind to. I will splash them out of the water and wait to see where they land. Once I see them fly or walk away, I forget about them and move on. If they land on their back and can’t turn over, I use the net to give them a boost.

I know it’s weird. I never said I didn’t do a lot of weird stuff.

I do other weird stuff too. My husband knows most of my weird habits, but I thought I’d share a few with you.

Hang onto your hats!

1. I save bugs from drowning.
2. I love the water but won’t get my face or hair wet. Two incidents of near drowning caused that.
3. I won’t touch raw meat. Yes, it makes cooking difficult.
4. I don’t like to stay at people’s houses. I am very uncomfortable when I do, and it gives people an opportunity to see how weird I am.
5. I don’t like people to stay at my house. I’m a nervous hostess, and I know I am not the best cook or housekeeper. Plus, what do you do with these people? Have a staring contest?
6. I only eat one food at a time. More than one person has commented on this. What’s the big deal?
7. I don’t like veggies. Nope, not even green eggs and ham.
8. Apparently, I have a weird, sarcastic sense of humor. Some people don’t like that. I’ve always thought I was funny.
9. I am socially awkward. I don’t do well in large crowds but am fine with smaller groups.
10. When I was young, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. Now I won’t shut up! Maybe it’s the teaching career that made me flip. Try not talking to a bunch of kids.
11. I give away money to anyone with a sob story. It’s the reason we are broke.
12. I’m not very forgiving. I just saw a recent picture of the work clique that I once wanted to be part of almost 30 years ago. I still want to put a hex on them.
13. I would rather buy something used to decorate my house. Everything I buy has to be a good deal.
14. Sadly, I think everyone I meet is my friend. Even more sadly, it’s not true.
15. I swallow chewing gum.
16. I sneak up on my family and lick them on the face/cheek. My sister has pictures of this.
17. I have a bad temper and should have been named Karen. I’m working on it.
18. I have a sewing needle in my foot. I wouldn’t tell my mother (an RN) because she would have operated on it. It makes for good conversation, though.
19. I didn’t want to get married because I pass out when they take my blood. I did this both times I got married. My second husband had to talk and talk and talk me into getting our marriage license. Was it a sign? I know it was the first time.
20. I read the first chapter and last chapter of a book before I decide if I want to read it! Someone once referred to me as a cheater girl!

Well, I think this is enough for a start. If you are a loyal reader, then I hope you still like me. You probably already knew I was weird. But if you didn’t, I hope you like me anyway!

Love

Ruby Lee