Happy Birthday, Dear Leader

Best wishes for Donald Trump’s 80th birthday

Wikimedia Commons by DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump’s 80th birthday falls on June 14th and the White House has released birthday greetings from many world and national leaders including the following:

Dear Leader,

Happy Birthday, Dear Leader. I wish you great health and many more birthdays although I fear your chances of outliving me are less than the possibility we would ever give up our nuclear weapons or the likelihood of you bettering my father’s 38-under par score for his first round of golf.

Kim Jong-un

Birthday greetings Donchik,

Is honor to grant you Russia’s highest award: the Order of St. Andrew the Apostle. No one has done more for Russia than you, Donchik. Do not worry; I will not make award public to protect you from Russia, Russia, Russia hoax.

Vlad the Impaler

Dear President Trump,

Happy birthday to one born in year of the dog. Rest assured, that does not mean you are running dog capitalist. Instead, it signifies one who is smart, courageous and loyal and you continue to be a loyal friend. Looking forward to annexing Taiwan.

Xi Jinping

Best birthday wishes to our finest president to date,

It is an honor and a privilege to serve as your vice president. Congratulations on your 80th birthday. At that age, it must be tiring to rule our nation. Please know that if you ever need to take a break, be it via the 25th Amendment or otherwise, I am always available to step in.

J. D. “Number Two” Vance

Best wishes, fearless leader,

I congratulate you on turning 80. It is difficult to believe that someone so young and vibrant is entering his ninth decade. It is tragic that the 22nd Amendment apparently precludes you from serving a third term. My staff and I are working nonstop to find a way to circumvent that silly restriction. If we are ultimately unsuccessful, please note that J. D. Vance has not lifted a finger to help us.

Marco “Brown Nose” Rubio

Happy birthday to myself,

How do I love me?

Let me count the ways.

From my fantastic victories,

to my most stable geniosity,

I am a huge, huge success,

and the greatest president ever.

Presidente Vitalicio Trump

Dear husband,

Happy birthday and remember that our prenup expires on January 20, 2029.

Melania

[embed]Trump’s Not-so-good Manners Someone forgot to teach himmedium.com