More Humor By Bloch 40

Witty Sayings from the book by Bloch

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

MATZ’S RULE REGARDING MEDICATIONS:

A drug is that substance which, when injected into a rat, will produce a scientific report.

COCHRANE’S APHORISM:

Before ordering a test decide what you will do ifit is 1) positive, or 2) negative. Ifboth answers are the same, don’t do the test.

BERNSTEIN’S PRECEPT:

The radiologists’ national flower is the hedge.

LORD COHEN’S COMMENT:

The feasibility of an operation is not the best indication for its performance.

TELESCO’S LAWS OF NURSING:

1. All the IVs are at the other end of the hall.

2. A physician’s ability is inversely proportional to his availability.

3. There are two kinds of adhesive tape: that which won’t stay on and that which won’t come off.

4. Everybody wants a pain shot at the same time.

5. Everybody who didn’t want a pain shot when you were passing out pain shots wants one when you are passing out sleeping pills.

BARACH’S RULE:

An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

WISE FAN’S LAMENT:

Fools rush in — and get the best seats.

BREDA’S RULE:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.