Judge-mental

Have you seen those huge number pads next to those huge lifts in big buildings? You press the floor number and tells you which one of the many lifts you get to use to reach the floor — “A/B/C/D/E..etc.” Waiting is a big drama in such places as these mammoth lifts haul hundreds of people from ground floor or basements to the 20th or the 30th or whatever’eth floor of those tall buildings.

Courtesy: Google

Standing in the lobby you can see people a little more intrinsically than they are otherwise. Some will look at you with a plain cold poker face, few might respond with a nod or a soft smile, others — if you know them will chat up asking, “how are you?” In all these one thing is common, people are interacting. This however is not a regular thing, you know. Often times we get to see people engrossed in their phones scrolling or talking to someone through their airpods. Oh! this is a funny thing. I am sure you would have faced it too, one person would be looking at you and talking into their airpods. But you would misunderstand and respond to them only to realize they were on their phone all the while. Man! what an embarrassment. I have faced it. Find it funny now. If you faced it too? then, you are not alone bro. I am with you. Let’s bare the medal gracefully and laugh at it now. :)

Now, a friend used to meet a colleague in their office lift almost every day. They would look at each other but the colleague — let’s call my friend Cache and the colleague Carrie. Cache met Carrie in the lift and gave a warming smile. But there was no response from Carrie. Cache felt that Carrie had an attitude. This continued to happen for long. Limited to no response from Carrie made Cache feel that Carrie is a snob and doesn’t talk to people easily. Cache also felt once that probably Carrie was upset with something and that made Carrie this way.

These thoughts were given more knowledge by Cache and Carrie’s other colleagues. (Let’s call these other colleagues as Boo and Hoo). In a general conversation, Boo told Hoo that Carrie had it tough for the last few year. It was too much for anybody. Intrigued hearing this, Cache asks Boo and Hoo what’s the matter with Carrie. And gets to know that Carrie lost the spouse to Covid. The mother to general age related ailments, Carrie is left with a 6 year old child and a father suffering with cancer. Listening to this, Cache realized that jumping the gun and being judgmental about Carrie was wrong and life has its way with people. Cache decided from then on to not be judgmental and be curious instead. (this is based on a true incident and names are changed).

It is so easy we all are judgmental all the time. Particularly, when we are looking at people and not receiving appropriate responses from them. If we say morning and they don’t respond, we call them names, say they are arrogant. If people react a certain way we call them bad and decide not to talk to them ever. Why! we are quick to shout at our maids or security guards because we feel privileged to do it. Why do we feel that? Because we create an image of a person we see. A person wearing security uniform, we are quick to judge them by their profession and take advantage of them. When this happens to us by someone who is better than us in status or power, we quickly judge them as bad too. This is a vicious cycle and one of us have to consciously put efforts to break it.

A decade or two ago, there were these regional movies in which the protagonist addresses the autorickshaw drivers with “Sir” and respectfully. When people followed suit in real life, they were ridiculed for calling such blue collared workers with a salutation. But Covid taught people that every human is important and every human’s life is important. Let’s be the change we want to see. Let’s pave the way for our future generations to have a better life. Like it is always said, leave the toilet better than you found it. Let’s leave the world with better humans than we are and found others to be. Add value to others and self too. #LiveLongAndProsper