The Cost of Being a Woman

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Coming from personal experience how society and we treat ourselves.

The Cost of Being a Woman

Speaking from personal experience, the biggest surge in my expenses has not come from clothes, luxury items, travel, or dining out. It has come from maintaining my independence, security, and well-being.

As a woman in India, I do not feel comfortable living in many housing arrangements that compromise privacy or safety. Buying a house is currently beyond my financial means, so renting remains my only practical option.

Life was relatively inexpensive when I lived at home or in ashrams. However, once work-from-home shifted to a five-day office schedule, commuting for two hours daily by cab became unsustainable. It affected my health and quality of life, so I rented an apartment in Delhi NCR.

That is where the real expenses began.

One thing I refuse to compromise on is living alone. I genuinely enjoy my own company. I do not spend my days glued to social media. Instead, I prefer solitude, self-reflection, learning, and working on myself. But maintaining this lifestyle comes at a cost.

With limited salary growth and a difficult job market, managing expenses has become increasingly challenging. Essential monthly costs such as rent, domestic help, cooking assistance, newspapers, flowers, vehicle maintenance, and household upkeep consume a significant portion of my income.

On top of that, I am vegetarian and committed to maintaining a disciplined lifestyle that includes spiritual practices. This means preparing my own food, avoiding excessive social gatherings, and protecting my physical and mental energy. I have learned that frequent outside food and constant socializing often leave me feeling drained.

I also invest in personal care and health — not for appearances alone, but because I view them as forms of self-respect. Hair care, massages, yoga, gym memberships, manicures, and pedicures all add up. By the end of most months, there is very little left.

Difference of perspective

Recently, I traveled to Mussoorie with a group of younger friends. During the trip, I noticed a strong reluctance among some people to spend even on basic comfort or fairness. Every shared expense became a negotiation.

I understand the instinct to save money. I have been through financially difficult periods myself. However, I have always believed that if a service has been provided fairly, it should be paid for fairly. Constant arguments over small amounts can create unnecessary tension and diminish the experience for everyone involved.

The trip made me realize how much the people around us influence our mindset. I value prudence and financial discipline, but I do not want frugality to become fear, nor savings to become an obsession.

Later, I came across a video of a man living in the Himalayas who spoke about how scarcity thinking can become deeply ingrained in society. While I would not generalize his views to everyone, I could relate to the idea that many people in India are taught to minimize spending at all costs rather than focusing on value, growth, and quality of life.

Throughout much of the trip, I found myself seeking solitude. I enjoyed being in my own company far more than participating in endless discussions about saving every rupee.

One lesson became clear: maintaining high personal standards, living independently, and making decisions based on your own values can be difficult when you are surrounded by people whose priorities are fundamentally different from yours.

I enjoy reflection. I keep track of my expenses, record them diligently, and look for unnecessary spending to eliminate. At the same time, I believe that certain investments — in health, safety, personal growth, and peace of mind — are worth making.

Many people move through life following social expectations without questioning them. I have always been more interested in asking difficult questions, examining my choices, and deciding for myself what kind of life I want to live.

The cost of independence is high. But for me, it is a price worth paying.