사람 사이 사람

Wave to Earth — Love

Dear M,

You.

Wearing your favorite blue t-shirt on profile picture, I guess it’s almost half years you stick with that picture. Nice pick, I would stare at them million hours. Your nice black glasses thrills me lately, where do you get them? Please tell me if you gonna wear it so I can prepare to not Muhammad Ibnu-ing myself and get caught with everyone in the room.

Your 5 9 ft tall walks 2 steps wider than me and making a big big gap between us. I just know yesterday, you only bring one red tiny bag — you picked it up from some coffee break and reuse it to become one of your comfort bag to office. I used to see your Asus backpack hanging on your shoulder on that one morning we coincidentally met. I guess you just comfortable wearing them.

Oh, and I on that one moment we are close enough — making me more shaking by questioning… is this love? or I just admiring someone like you in my life?

After my dad passed away, I know I have a type and you resembles to my dad in a certain manner. The way you walk and look, tall and smart, calm and warm, I don’t know… I just wondering. Can I get to know you more in the near future?

When you heavily breathing after catching a rough walk more likely climbing from our front building and passing me, it feels too bizarre and fill the air for both of us — or only me — full of awkwardness. I kinda worried and checking the sound couple times of the elevator for not taking you away from me, that morning. Silly me.

About the obituary that I heard couple weeks ago, I was deeply saddened to hear about your father’s passing. I heard from someone I know close to your work’s desk. They said you didn’t come to office and going back to home a bit earlier the previous day.

Maybe it’s a bit odd for you and your family at this time. I believe time will heal, trust me — or not, up to you. He won’t let you suffering all alone, he always beside you and push you to be someone you never know you could.

All the long words here are just some rambles and hope it doesn’t reach you. If that happened, I need you to understand… this feeling is too hard to resist.

I’m sorry, I really sorry to not behave the way you want.