Beyond Dominance: Rediscovering What it Means to be Powerful

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a book on my Thulo Buwa’s (paternal uncle’s) bookshelf. I was waiting for him to arrive, but the moment I opened the pages, I found myself secretly hoping he would be late. I wanted more time. When he finally came home, we talked, and I eventually brought the book home with me.

Looking back, I am in awe of how timely that discovery proved to be. This book felt meant for me. It reassured me in my long-held belief that power should be something that eases suffering — allowing us to serve others more intentionally and, above all, more humanly.

The Illusion of Power

Growing up, I dreaded the version of power I saw used against the weak, whether it was children or adults with less social status. To me, power looked like dominance.

In our society today, we are constantly told that power is measured by the size of our bank accounts, the number of followers we have, or the authority we hold over others. It is a power built on competition — the idea that for me to be powerful, someone else must be less so. But as Thich Nhat Hanh points out, this “worldly power” is fragile. It can be taken away in an instant, and even while we have it, it often brings more anxiety than peace. It is power over others, rather than power within ourselves.

The Five Spiritual Powers

Thich Nhat Hanh explains that while worldly power is fragile, these five internal powers are indestructible:

• Faith (Sraddha): A deep trust that there is a path toward peace and transformation.
• Diligence (Virya): The energy and joy of practicing mindfulness every day — not as a chore, but as a source of life.
• Mindfulness (Smriti): The power to be fully present, which allows us to stop being “dragged away” by the past or future.
• Concentration (Samadhi): The ability to stay focused on what is happening in the here and now.
• Insight (Prajna): The wisdom that comes from looking deeply into reality, which naturally gives birth to compassion.

These five powers don’t require you to step on anyone else; in fact, they only grow stronger when you use them to lift others.

Seeing these listed out made me realize why the “dominance” I saw as a child felt so empty. It was missing these internal anchors. However, even with these powers available to us, we often encounter internal roadblocks: The Three complexes.

The Blockage: The Three Complexes

These complexes act as a drain on our true power because they require us look outward and compare ourselves to others. Thich Nhat Hanh identifies them as:

The Complex of Superiority: The “I am better than you” trap. It leads to pride and isolation.

The Complex of Inferiority: The “I am worse than you” trap. This is where my fear of being “fake” comes from; it makes us feel small and paralyzed.

The Complex of Equality: The “I am just as good as you” trap. It sounds healthy, but it is actually a form of constant competition and restlessness.

When we are caught in these traps, our Mindfulness and Concentration are hijacked. We aren’t focused on the present; we are focused on our “rank” in the room.

The Cure: Interbeing

Thich Nhat Hanh offers a beautiful cure: Interbeing. He teaches that if you look deeply at a flower, you see the rain, the sun, and the soil in it. Without these “non-flower” elements, the flower cannot be. We are the same.

The solution to these complexes is the realization of Interbeing. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that if you look deeply at a flower, you see the rain, the sun, and the soil in it. Without these “non-flower” elements, the flower cannot be. We are the same.

When we look through the lens of Interbeing, the complexes dissolve:

• If you feel superior, you are only trying to be superior to a part of yourself.
• If you feel inferior, you are only looking at one small piece of a much larger whole.
• If you feel the need to be equal, you are forgetting that there is no “other” to compete with.

By practicing Interbeing, we clear the blockage. We stop comparing and start connecting, allowing the Five Spiritual Powers to flow freely. True power isn’t the capacity to stand above others; it is the capacity to see yourself in them.

Bridging the Inner and Outer

Mastering this inner power changes our relationship with the world. I feel more comfortable saying that there is nothing inherently wrong with having worldly power; wealth, fame, or authority — as long as you are not consumed by it.

In fact, if we master our internal power first, worldly power becomes a beautiful instrument for good. When you have a foundation of mindfulness and insight, you won’t misuse your influence. This is why it is so important to master the “inner” before aspiring for the “outer.” Internal power ensures that when we do find ourselves with wealth or status, we use it to lift others rather than to feed our own egos.

Notes from the Path

I’ll be honest: writing this feels a bit intimidating. I am far from mastering these concepts, and I still catch myself falling into these complexes every day. I still struggle with the urge to be “better” and the fear of being “less.”

But I’m grateful for that random afternoon at my Thulo Buwa’s bookshelf. I realize now that the most “powerful” thing I can do isn’t to be perfect. It is to be present, to listen, and to remember that we are all interconnected. The “light” doesn’t have to be big to be useful — it just has to be enough to show us the next step.