FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIPS

The Friend Who Never Runs Out of Things to Say

Why we all need at least one person in our lives who fills the silence for us

Photo by Julio Lopez on Unsplash

“The language of friendship is not words but meanings. “— **Henry David Thoreau**

My aunt told me a story recently about visiting an old friend. She said the friend talked so much that she, my aunt, never had to worry about carrying the conversation. She could simply sit back, listen, laugh, and let the afternoon unfold around her.

I laughed when she told me because I think most of us know someone exactly like this person.

They are the ones who always have a story ready to go, who can tell you, in vivid detail, about their day, their neighbor’s drama, or a conversation they had with a complete stranger in line at the store. Give them the smallest opening, and somehow they turn it into a story worth hearing.

We love them for it, honestly.

These people are rarely at a loss for words, which I think is worth admiring rather than dismissing. It is not usually about oversharing or needing attention. Much of it comes from living a life full of small moments they actually notice.

A quick trip to the store becomes a funny story. A random conversation with a stranger turns into something worth repeating days later. A moment most of us would let pass becomes a memory the whole group ends up laughing about.

Consider the evenings when everyone has had a long week, when the group is tired or distracted or simply settling quietly into each other’s company. Then this person starts talking, and the mood shifts almost immediately.

One story leads to another. Someone laughs. Someone else offers a similar story of their own, and soon the conversation is moving entirely on its own momentum.

Being around someone like this on a draining day feels like a small gift. There is no need to reach for the perfect response or feel responsible for keeping the conversation alive; their stories do that work for everyone.

Of the three friend groups I belong to, at least two have someone exactly like this. The more reserved people in each group tend to appreciate them the most, since they get to enjoy the stories, join in when they feel like it, and take part in the conversation without ever having to create it themselves.

I fall somewhere in the middle. Some days I have plenty to say; other days I would rather sit back and listen. I have made peace with calling myself an ambivert, and even I appreciate being around someone who can carry a conversation and put everyone at ease without seeming to try.

Good listeners get a great deal of credit, and rightly so. They are the people who make us feel heard. However, the talkers deserve some credit of their own. They turn ordinary evenings into the ones people actually remember. They keep gatherings from going flat, bring laughter on the days people need it most, and remind everyone that there is usually a story hiding somewhere, waiting for someone willing to notice it.

Perhaps that is what makes a friend group work well. Not everyone plays the same role. Some people listen, some tell the stories, some bring the jokes, and some are content simply being along for the ride. It is the mix of all of it that holds a friendship together.

So, the next time you find yourself with the person who always has another story, take a moment to actually appreciate it. Chances are it comes from someone paying closer attention to life than most of us bother to.

Who’s the talker in your friend group? Have you ever stopped to thank them for bringing so much energy into your conversations?

[embed]Credit: YouTube

Related by B.R. Shenoy:

🎈 5 Signs You Might Be an Ambivert

B.R. Shenoy writes personal stories on parenting, lifestyle, work culture, and the lessons found in nature and travel. Her perspective is shaped by years abroad and raising two young adult children.

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