Living Well After 80 — The Journey Continues

A forum for people who do not ask, “How far did I get?” but “Was I present while I was here?”

Image © Øivind H. Solheim

Something happens to us when we have lived long enough. Not to everyone, not in the same way, and not at the same time. But many people gradually experience a quiet change. Something shifts inside us. We begin to understand something we perhaps could not understand when we were young. Maybe life was never primarily about arriving somewhere. Maybe it was about being present while we were on our way.

We spent so many years trying to achieve something. An education, a job, a position, a house, financial security, someone to love, and a place in life where we could finally say the following: Now I have arrived. Now I have made it. Now I can rest.

But life rarely works that way. Because when we reached what we believed was the goal, almost always something new appeared further ahead. A new dream. A new expectation. A new restlessness. A new image of everything we had not yet accomplished.

This is how much of life passed. We were constantly moving forward, driven by dreams, needs, longing, and ambitions. And perhaps it had to be this way. Youth and adult life need this force. We need the belief that something is waiting for us. We need the energy that makes us educate ourselves, build, create, love, work, fight, and rise again when something goes wrong. Without the longing for something more, much of what human beings have created would never have existed.

But somewhere along the way, something may change. Not because we have given up. Not because we no longer care. Perhaps quite the opposite. Perhaps the change happens because we finally begin to understand what truly matters. Slowly, we move from achieving to being.

This does not mean that we stop wanting something. It does not mean that we stop developing, learning, creating, or setting new goals. It does not mean that we sit down and say that everything is over. Perhaps it is the opposite. Perhaps this is when we truly begin to see life as it is.

For a long time, perhaps we believed that happiness was always waiting somewhere further ahead. When I only get this. When I only manage this. When I finally reach that place. But one day we may sit quietly in the morning with a cup of coffee, look out of the window, hear the sounds of life around us, and feel the body that still carries us through the day. Then another thought may come: This is life too. Not waiting for life. Not preparing for life. But life itself.

Another change takes place. We move from more to enough. The small word “enough” may be one of the most difficult words to learn because, throughout much of our lives, we have been told the opposite. More. Get more. Experience more. Own more. Become more. Be more than you are.

But perhaps one of the great privileges of growing older is that we can finally ask a different question: What do I actually need? What makes my days good? What truly matters when I no longer need to impress anyone?

The answer may turn out to be simpler than we imagined. A body that works well enough. People we care about. Something to get up for. Something to learn. Something to create. Something to enjoy. A reason to remain curious when a new day arrives.

Slowly, we also move from chasing to movement. And there is a great difference. Chasing often comes from restlessness, from the feeling that we are not where we should be, that something is missing, that we always have to move further ahead in order to become whole. Movement comes from something else. It comes from the force of life itself. From the desire to still take part.

There is movement in the body when we go for a walk, use our hands, breathe fresh air, or feel that the body is still part of the world. There is movement in our thoughts when we read, learn, wonder, and dare to change our minds. There is movement in creativity when we write, take photographs, make music, cook, grow something, or create something that did not exist before. There is movement towards other people when we listen, talk, share, and still dare to open ourselves.

We no longer have to run after life. We can walk alongside it.

And perhaps the greatest change comes at the very end. We move from trying to win life to living life. Because perhaps life was never a competition, even though we often treated it as one.

We compared ourselves. Who got the furthest? Who achieved the most? Who succeeded best? Who got the life we thought we wanted for ourselves? But when we have travelled far enough on our journey, we may see something we could not see before. Everyone walked their own path. Everyone carried something. Everyone won something. Everyone lost something.

Perhaps the question was never:

How far did I get?

Perhaps the question was:

Was I present while I was here?

This does not mean that age automatically gives us wisdom. Growing older only gives us the possibility. The possibility to stop, look back, understand, forgive, accept, and then turn towards the future again.

Because the journey is not over.

There are still days we have not lived. Thoughts we have not thought. Conversations we have not had. Small joys we have not discovered.

Perhaps this is one of the most beautiful things about having lived a long life:

We no longer have to try to win life.

We can finally live it.

As it is.

I wish you a good afternoon!

• Øivind

An Invitation

Living Well After 80 — The Journey Continues

What does it mean to grow older and still feel that life is open?

What helps us live well when the years behind us become many, but we still want the years ahead to matter?

These are some of the questions we explore in Living Well After 80 — The Journey Continues.

This is a group for people who believe that ageing is not only about looking back. Our memories are important. Our experiences are valuable. But we are still here. We are still learning. We are still becoming.

Here we can read, talk, and share thoughts and experiences about:

🌿 Health and taking care of the body we have 🌿 Movement — of the body, mind, and creativity 🌿 Learning and staying curious 🌿 Friendship and meaningful conversations 🌿 Nature, books, music, art, and everyday joy 🌿 Finding meaning in this new chapter of life

We talk about the questions many of us meet as we grow older,

How do we stay active? How do we keep our minds alive? How do we handle change, loss, and new possibilities? How do we move from chasing life to living life?

This is not about pretending to be young again.

It is about taking care of the person we still are.

You do not have to achieve anything here. You do not have to prove anything.

You can read quietly, share a memory, ask a question, post a photo, recommend a book, tell a story, or simply be part of the conversation.

Perhaps one of the gifts of growing older is discovering a new way of living:

From achieving to being. From more to enough. From chasing to movement. From trying to win life — to living life.

If these thoughts mean something to you, you are warmly invited to join us.

The journey continues.

Living Well After 80 — The Journey Continues — Øivind H. Solheim