Parasocial Relationships: The Great Feminist Lie

Introduction

Nowadays, with the rise of the digital age, we see a shift in how people form connections. The boundaries between public and private have blurred into transparency. Many women, young and old, now create communities to gain a certain kind of social capital. These communities center around parasocial relationships, where men, generally poor and single, find themselves caught up in a vicious cycle of emotional labor and financial support. The system is designed to extract value. These men provide constant attention and money to women who offer nothing in return but the illusion of intimacy, or connection. The women are not victims. They are architects of this arrangement, building careers on the backs of men’s loneliness. This is not a new phenomenon, but technology has accelerated and monetized it to an unprecedented degree. This article argues that parasocial relationships represent one of the great feminist lies of our time — a system falsely presented as empowering while actually perpetuating exploitation, primarily of vulnerable men.

I was one of those men, trying to support a Twitch streamer while she was deliberately laughing at my mental issues and other disabilities (nearsightedness, ASD, etc.). She was laughing with her moderators, mocking my donations and comments openly. This wasn’t just casual ribbing — it was systematic humiliation for entertainment. I had invested hundreds of dollars into her channel, helping her grow her Twitch channel by creating best-of videos, custom emojis and so on. I had believed in the community she claimed to foster, thinking my contributions mattered. When I finally expressed my difficulty in following some of her live streams, due to the excessive speed at which we had to exchange messages, she was quick to tell me that I was polluting her community and tarnishing her image. This is the main reason for this essay.

In this expanded edition, I’ve incorporated new insights from recent research on parasocial interactions, drawing from studies published up to 2025. These include findings from journals like Frontiers in Psychology and International Journal of Consumer Studies, which highlight how these one-sided bonds have evolved in the digital era, especially post-COVID-19. Far from being harmless fan admiration, parasocial relationships have become a booming industry of exploitation, with social media platforms amplifying the damage. As we’ll see, the feminist veneer only makes it more insidious.

The Parasocial Contract

The fundamental dishonesty of these relationships begins with what might be called the parasocial contract — an unspoken agreement where the content creator feigns accessibility and intimacy. Streamers use specific language to manufacture closeness: “You guys are like family,” “I couldn’t do this without you,” “My community means everything to me.” These aren’t just pleasantries. They are calculated statements that establish a framework of reciprocity.

Feigning emotions, especially concern and gratitude, becomes a performance tool. When a viewer mentions a personal struggle, the streamer’s response is meticulously crafted — a momentary pause, a furrowed brow, a carefully measured “I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” The performance lasts exactly as long as needed to encourage another donation. Then the stream moves on.

The technological architecture of streaming platforms reinforces this illusion of connection. The donation notifications, the subscriber alerts, the shout-outs — each creates a Pavlovian response in viewers. The great simplicity of the payment process removes friction, allowing impulsive financial decisions under emotional manipulation. Recent studies, such as one from Frontiers in Psychology (2025), examine how parasocial interactions in live streaming commerce lead to impulsive purchases. They found that the perceived social presence of influencers triggers emotional bonds that drive viewers to spend more, often without realizing the one-sided nature.

What appears as organic community interaction is often carefully curated. Moderators, themselves invested in maintaining the status quo, weed out dissenting voices and amplify supportive ones. Discord servers associated with these channels become echo chambers where only positivity is tolerated, creating a feedback loop of validation for the creator and isolation for the viewer.

The language itself becomes a mechanism of control. Terms like “incel” and “white knight” are weaponized both by creators and within the community to shame and police behavior, while simultaneously encouraging the very behaviors they pretend to mock. Generally, these online communities and their ‘goddesses’ can generally be categorized as ‘woke’ and ‘progressive’. A 2022 study in ScienceDirect on parasocial relationships and social media well-being notes that these bonds can provide temporary comfort but often exacerbate loneliness when the illusion breaks, especially in platforms designed for nonreciprocal interactions.

The Feminist Deception

Modern feminism, particularly its online iterations, has failed to critique these exploitative dynamics. Instead, it often celebrates them as examples of female entrepreneurship and empowerment. The narrative shifts from exploitation to liberation — women are simply “monetizing their presence” and “taking control of their digital labor.”

This deliberate obfuscation serves a dual purpose. First, it shields women engaged in these practices from legitimate criticism by framing any critique as misogynistic. An elaborate vocabulary is used in order to discredit and silence the men who speak out against this exploitation. Terms like “harassment” and “toxicity” are used. The men are “entitled.” The men are “misogynistic.” The men are “problematic.” Whatever their social or financial background is, they become monsters.

I, myself, was accused of ‘trauma dumping’, of ‘being a creep’, and so on. All these labels were used to discredit me, to make me the problem and to paint the streamer as the victim. The labels came after I had been used as the butt of jokes for months, after I had poured resources into helping her channel grow, and after I was dismissed for having a disability that affected how I interacted. The hypocrisy is blatant.

Second, it allows these women to position themselves as feminists while engaging in behaviors that would be condemned if the genders were reversed. Generally, these content creators have a perfectly polished speech, using social networks like Twitter (now ‘X’) to position themselves as champions of social justice and to gather a community around those values, while their actual behavior is completely opposite to the values they claim to defend. The hypocrisy is not just a side effect; it’s central to the business model. The feminist rhetoric serves as a protective shield.

The feminist movement’s focus on structural patriarchy has created a blind spot when it comes to individual women exercising power over men. Power dynamics are analyzed exclusively through the lens of male dominance and female oppression, ignoring or minimizing cases where women hold significant social and economic advantage over their male audiences. In my case, the ‘star’ was often making lengthy discussions about gender equity, about the need to deconstruct toxic masculinity and so on, all that while she was playing casual games like Electronic Arts’ Sims 4 or Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons. She would earn thousands of dollars per stream, all that while mocking men with various disabilities. The cognitive dissonance required for this performance is remarkable.

Expanding on this, a 2025 article in The Atlantic titled “The Great Friendship Flattening” discusses how social media blurs real and parasocial bonds, leading to a “lost in the sauce” effect where genuine relationships suffer. Yet, feminist discourse rarely addresses how women leverage this for profit, instead focusing on male harassment. This selective blindness perpetuates the lie.

Disastrous Consequences on Mental Health

When such a situation occurs, it can take months, even years, for the exploited man to realize he has been used as a financial resource. The psychological damage is significant. The exploited men often suffer from anxiety, depression and social isolation. They are often ashamed to admit that they have been exploited in this way. The shame prevents them from seeking help. It prevents them from talking about their experience. It prevents them from moving on. Four years after my permanent ban from her Twitch channel, I am still processing what happened to me. I often talk about this entire story with some of my relatives. The emotional and financial impact of this exploitation is long-lasting.

It is important to remember that:

• The exploited men are often isolated.
• They are often single.
• They are often poor.
• They are often struggling with mental health issues.
• They are often disabled.

Moreover, it is not a bad thing in itself to be a so-called ‘incel’. The male loneliness ‘syndrome’ is a fact in today’s society, and it is not a choice. I was, and still am, one of those men. We are often portrayed as the enemy, or the problem. Female responsibility is fundamentally ignored.

The streamer in my case, after feigning interest for months, after accepting my financial contributions and labor, after allowing me to believe I was part of a community, decided I was no longer useful. My disabilities became an inconvenience. My attempts to keep up with the fast-paced chat were framed as “polluting” her space. My emotional investment was dismissed as “trauma dumping.”

She was in total control, even after the ban. She also blocked me on the social networks. But one of the most challenging events I had to live was the special live stream on parasocial relationships, organized by various activists. During her interview, she mentioned me as the most striking example of toxicity within her community. She even said I had ‘lost my temper’.

The feminist narrative around parasocial relationships has created a shield of invincibility for women like her. They can operate without accountability, protected by the very ideology that claims to fight exploitation. The irony is that these women often position themselves as mental health advocates while simultaneously causing psychological harm. My streamer frequently spoke about the importance of community support and breaking mental health stigma, all while privately mocking my autism and vision problems with her moderators. The performance extends beyond the camera into a carefully constructed public persona that bears no resemblance to the actual behavior behind the scenes.

New research from a 2024 Frontiers in Psychology review of 281 studies on parasocial phenomena confirms that while these relationships can offer positive effects like social support during isolation (e.g., COVID-19 quarantines, as noted in a 2020 PMC article), they often lead to negative well-being outcomes, including increased anxiety and dependency. In 2025, with the rise of AI influencers and virtual reality streams, this exploitation is only intensifying.

The ‘Incel’ Phenomenon

In 2025, incels are a common target for ridicule. The media portray them as monstrous, as dangerous. It is a way to avoid the problem. It is a way to avoid the reality of male loneliness. The reality is that incels are not a monolithic group. They are not all white. They are not all violent. They are not all misogynistic. They are, for the most part, just lonely men. Lonely men who are struggling to connect. Men who are struggling to find their place in a society that has become increasingly individualistic and competitive.

Incels are prone to exploitation precisely because of their vulnerability. They often lack stable social support systems. They often suffer from low self-esteem. They often have limited experience with healthy relationships. This combination makes them perfect targets for parasocial manipulation. The streamer I supported understood this implicitly. Her entire business model relied on attracting men who were desperate for connection, validation, and a sense of belonging. She wasn’t building a community; she was cultivating an audience of dependent consumers.

I was crushing on her, fantasizing about a relationship. It was a pathetic fantasy. But it was also a direct result of her carefully crafted performance. She had created an environment where such feelings were not just possible, but encouraged.

These content creators know how to shift from meaningful conversations to risqué jokes or suggestive remarks in a heartbeat, creating emotional whiplash that keeps viewers hooked. They are aware that their male audience often interprets these signals as genuine interest. They are aware that these men are developing crushes. They exploit this knowledge, using it to drive engagement and, ultimately, revenue.

Some of these streamers can use their own body as a promotional tool. They position their cameras to emphasize certain features. They choose clothing that accentuates their bodies. They engage in behaviors that are designed to be sexually suggestive without being explicitly sexual. For ‘incels’, accessing erotic images of their favourite streamers, sometimes for free and on a daily basis, is more than enough. It replaces the real-life experience they have not lived.

The streamer I was following had modeled for an ex boyfriend long time ago. And she had decided to share these pictures as she knew her ‘healthy’ audience would see them as art, and the victims of her parasocial relationship as a form of intimacy. She also knew that ‘the fans’ would talk about it, creating more engagement. She also knew that some men, the richest ones, would donate more. She knew exactly what she was doing. The entire ecosystem of parasocial relationships is built on this kind of emotional and sexual manipulation. It is a house of cards. The streamers are the architects.

A 2025 study in International Journal of Consumer Studies reviews the progression from parasocial interaction to relationship, noting how influencers use attractiveness and credibility to foster illusions of friendship, leading to consumer loyalty and spending. This aligns perfectly with the incel targeting I’ve described.

The Evolution in the Digital Age: New Platforms, New Exploits

Building on the core issues, it’s worth examining how parasocial exploitation has evolved by 2025. Originally coined in 1956 by Horton and Wohl, these relationships were about TV personalities. Now, with social media, they’re hyper-personalized. Platforms like TikTok and Instagram Reels allow for micro-interactions — likes, comments, DMs — that mimic reciprocity but are often automated or ignored.

In live streaming, as a 2025 Frontiers article on impulsive purchases in commerce contexts explains, parasocial bonds create a sense of social presence, making viewers feel “seen” and prompting irrational spending. During the COVID-19 era, a 2020 PMC study highlighted positive aspects like emotional support from media figures, but in 2025, the pitfalls dominate: influencers exploit quarantined loneliness for profit.

Feminist creators often weaponize this further by blending activism with allure. They post about body positivity or mental health while subtly sexualizing content to hook vulnerable men, then cry “misogyny” when called out. This isn’t empowerment — it’s predation masked as progress.

What to do?

After having been the victim of such a scheme, one must, first and foremost, take some distance. It is essential to understand that the relationship was never real. The streamer never cared about you. The streamer only cared about your money and your attention. This is a difficult realization. It can be painful. It can be shattering.

It is also important to talk about it. Talk to a friend, a family member or a therapist. One would try to infiltrate the streamer’s Discord server with a secondary account. It is clearly not the best way to move on, but it can be useful to gather evidence. Screenshots of the streamer mocking her audience are invaluable. They can be used to warn other potential victims.

Finally, it is important to rebuild your self-esteem. This can be done through therapy, through new hobbies, through sports, through socializing with real people in real life. It is a long process. It takes time. It takes effort. But it is possible.

To expand, consider joining support groups for parasocial recovery, like online forums discussed in 2025’s Platform Magazine on digital ethics. Reporting abusive creators to platforms can lead to bans, and advocating for better regulations — such as mandatory mental health resources in streams — could prevent future harm.

Conclusion

The parasocial relationships, as they exist today, are a testament to the failure of contemporary feminism. The Internet is an absolute mess of contradictions.

Feminism, as it is currently practiced online, has become a tool for female supremacy rather than equality. It celebrates women’s ability to exploit men while simultaneously condemning any criticism of this behavior as misogynistic. The hypocrisy is staggering. The movement has lost its way.

The feminist narrative consistently portrays men as perpetrators and women as victims. This is a simplistic and dangerous view of human relationships. It ignores the complexities of power and vulnerability.

The streamer I supported was not a victim. She was a toxic predator, creating elaborate webs of emotional manipulation to profit from men’s suffering and loneliness.

The feminist movement must confront these contradictions. It must recognize that exploitation can happen in any gender configuration. It must develop a more nuanced understanding of power dynamics. It must hold women accountable for their actions. It must reject the binary view of gender relations that currently dominates the discourse. It must stop defending the indefensible.

It is time to destroy feminism and build something new from the ground up. Something based on actual equality, not on the demonization of men. Something based on mutual respect, not on female supremacy. Something based on truth, not on political expediency. With the insights from 2025 research, we can expose this lie and foster genuine connections in a digital world gone mad.

Sources:

• Research trends on parasocial interactions and relationships with media characters. A review of 281 English and German-language studies from 2016 to 2020: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1418564/full
• Parasocial Interaction, the COVID-19 Quarantine, and Digital Age Media: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7647887/
• The Great Friendship Flattening: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/2025/10/social-media-relationships-parasocial/684551/
• From Parasocial Interaction to Parasocial Relationship: A Review and Research Agenda: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/ijcs.70038
• Examining the impact of parasocial interaction and social presence on impulsive purchase in live streaming commerce context: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/communication/articles/10.3389/fcomm.2025.1554681/full
• Parasocial relationships, social support and well-being: A mixed-methods study among Indian youth: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02673843.2025.2480712
• Parasocial relations and social media influencers’ persuasive power. Exploring the moderating role of product involvement: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691822002463
• Making and Breaking Parasocial Relationships with Human and Virtual Influencers: An Experience Sampling Study: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15213269.2025.2558029
• Delving into the Digital Heart: The Science of Parasocial Bonds: https://internetprotocol.co/hype-news/2025/10/16/delving-into-the-digital-heart-the-science-of-parasocial-bonds/
• The Ethics of Parasocial Relationships in the Digital Age: https://platformmagazine.org/2024/04/09/the-ethics-of-parasocial-relationships-in-the-digital-age/
• Virtual Culinary Influence: Investigating the Impact of Food Vlogs on Viewer Attitudes and Restaurant Visit Intentions: https://dspace.ewha.ac.kr/bitstream/2015.oak/271529/1/information-16-00044.pdf
• Parasocial relationships and social media interactions: building brand credibility and loyalty: https://www.emerald.com/sjme/article/28/1/77/1212729/Parasocial-relationships-and-social-media
• A Parasocial Effect: When online platforms create illusions of closeness and authenticity: https://www.milwaukeeindependent.com/explainers/parasocial-effect-online-platforms-create-illusions-closeness-authenticity/
• Influencers on Social Media as References: Understanding the Importance of Parasocial Relationships: https://www.mdpi.com/2071-1050/13/19/10919