The One Listener Who Never Judged Me

The Gravity Weekly Reflection.

Photo by Ismael Paramo on Unsplash

I don’t know whether I’m philosophical, religious, or spiritual, yet I’m certainly God-fearing and, most importantly, I have great faith in the powers of the Omnipotent.

As we age, we develop a greater understanding of His plans; hence, I always turn to Him for peace of mind.

Hence, the one person I talk to often is God.

It’s not that I don’t have anyone around, but I feel sometimes revealing too much about our intimate thoughts makes us vulnerable in the eyes of relatives or friends.

Maybe I picked up this habit from the elders in my family. Whenever they were confused or in a dilemma, they would leave it in God’s hands.

They would write two options on separate pieces of paper, or sometimes use a red flower and a white flower wrapped in different papers. With complete faith and devotion, they would pick one, believing that God had given them the answer.

When I find myself in a quandary, I have a heartfelt conversation and resort to the same method I have cited above.

I find there is a lot of difference between talking and having a meaningful conversation. Because we talk to everyone around us, but do we divulge our plans or our personal details to all of them?

Initially, I had been confiding everything to my mom. But later on, I realized that sometimes her advice stemmed from her perspective too, which stifled me a lot.

I really started loving this method of confession. Whatever came into my mind, I blurted out. I never bothered about how well I put forth my views; rather, it gave me a sense of relief and satisfaction.

Unlike people, who may be near yet unavailable, He is all pervasive.I simply close my eyes, and I find Him listening.

I knew very well that He wouldn’t appear before me to stave off all my worries or grant my wishes in a jiffy, yet I had a firm belief that He understood my genuine feelings silently.

Venting out your feelings can be a great form of conversation, yet I don’t need an audience.All I need is peace of mind, not fake consolation.

Apart from confession, sometimes I even had arguments with Him as to why my plan had fizzled out. ‘Why did You deceive me when You knew very well that it wouldn’t work out for me?’ I would ask.

It’s not that I always confront only my insecurities and failures with teary eyes, but there are also moments wherein I have expressed my gratitude for salvaging me from the depths of despair.

Most of the time, the things I have planned or yearned for never fructify. Rather, what I get is far better than what I wanted. I immediately turn to Him with ecstatic enthusiasm and say, “Thank You, God. You never failed me; I was wrong.”

It may sound childish, but I find it far better than surrounding myself with dubious people whom I could never fully trust.

Probably, I found a companion in Him to talk to only when I grew up as an adult.

Because only when you age, begin to explore the ups and downs of life, and naturally gain experience, you realize that everything cannot happen according to your wishes.

It is then that you seek a listener who understands your fears, hopes, and disappointments without judgment.

After all, who wouldn’t return again and again to someone who listens, cares, protects, and comforts them? Perhaps that is why the one person I often return to, and talk to, is God.

Thank you for reading !

Thank you Monika Mahadev and Smriti Pathak for this wonderful weekly prompt.I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my perspective.