Cap Worth Millions

A tiny story about luck, money, and absurd decisions

Photo by Manoj Kumar on Unsplash

Simon Smile was nervously sipping his coffee by the fence, staring at the neighboring plot. A massive, unfinished mansion loomed there, while four construction workers lazily sunbathed on lounge chairs, beers in hand. John stepped out onto his porch, and Simon immediately complained to him:

“John, I’m going out of my mind! I’ve been looking for contractors in this state for six months just to fix a single gutter, and there’s absolutely no one on the market! Yet look at those guys across the street — they haven’t touched a brick in three months, and the millionaire lady pays them double wages every single day! What on earth are they waiting for?”

“The chimney cap,” John explained calmly.

“She ordered it from Japan with a custom design to align with her inner chakra. It took three months to ship, and in the meantime, the boys are on a guaranteed paid standby contract.”

Right at that moment a truck pulled up. The workers jumped to their feet, pried open the wooden crate, climbed onto the roof, and installed the shiny cap in ten minutes flat. The wealthy neighbor walked out into the yard, shaded her eyes with her hand, and looked up. Her face twisted in horror.

“Oh my God!” she shrieked at the foreman.

“That thing does not fit my feng shui concept at all! Its shape completely ruins the silhouette of the house!”

“Should we take it down and order another one?” the builder asked cautiously.

“Absolutely not! The cap has a perfect, divine draft!” she snapped.

“Boys, tear the house down to its foundations! Tomorrow morning we start designing from scratch — this time entirely around the concept of the chimney!”

The foreman grinned with the widest smile on the East Coast.

“You got it, ma’am! We’ll start right away. But the double wages are still running, right?”

The woman waved her hand dismissively and got into her car. Simon Smile dropped his coffee mug, which shattered at his feet. Across the street, the workers happily grabbed their sledgehammers, having just secured employment for the next three years. Simon slowly turned to his neighbor:

“John… do you happen to know if they offer any construction courses around here?”