“The Last Glow of Dignity” meets “The Gauntlet of Grading”

STARRING: LA REINA CAÍDA (The Fallen Queen) …played by The 1967 Un Peso

To Un the mission seemed simple. They would cloth themselves in “The People’s” clothing, and try to sneak into the low ROI entrance of the “gauntlet of grading”. For a queen this should be easy they thought. Just a short visit though the gauntlet. So many had passed through it seemed almost mandatory. As a queen life had always been velvet gloves, being handled by strange pair of velvet gloves to gather the information needed for the mission seemed just a short lesson in patience. How long the gauntlet will take seemed to be the secret the ministers were disquieted about. For Un it was exciting being asked to play in the minister’s debate as their secret spy, they anticipated ever so much delight and excitement. The queen would soon find “delight” become a veritable “nightmare of patience.”

The common mailbox was used as the launching point for the mission. Un dressed in the yellow bubble envelope of “The People’s” mailers. Sneaking quickly and quietly into the public collection receptacle Un began their mission. The ministers had told Un that they could make no guarantees; like ministers always do; but the trip was short they said. Un arrived at the dock, the plan was working flawlessly just as the ministers had estimated.

And then the nightmare started. Un was weighed, and was immediately moved to the lightweight population. The ministers had said Un would go direct to the WORLD MODERN population via the service checkpoint. The ministers said nothing about a weight level checkpoint. Un rolled eyes and thought “just like the ministers” they always fail to mention all the details of the journey. Then the lights go out and the wait begins.

LA REINA CAÍDA had unfortunately hit “the weekend” status. A status that all “The People” regardless of standing within the population are subject to. Un had been prepared for this eventuality as everyone knows “the weekend” status is non-negotiable. After the required three moon rises Un was removed from the bubble wrap of the people, stripped to full naked luster, tagged, and cataloged in, and their expedition, the “gauntlet of grades” began.

Un moved to “Scheduled for Evaluation / Grading” a mysterious status where one can be both scheduled and being graded at the same time. The scheduling is done and Un started the wait for the velvet gloves. Un had only been touched by a single pair of gloves for so long. Would the strange gloves handle Un with the same respect? The ministers said they would and they were correct. Un was looked at from all directions resolution status assigned and straight to “The Portrait” room.

And thus, the real nightmare begins.

Un knew this was the longest stretch of their journey. The ministers had told them they could provide no real estimate but said for Un on this mission it should not take more than 20 days for a full trip through the gauntlet. The gauntlet laws say so however their “estimate clause” is sometimes applied in certain conditions. Their velvet glove infantry is sometimes called as envoys to other countries. But as they stated the “estimate clause” is rarely applied and all their prior missions had been successfully moved through the gauntlet at a 20 day average. Un was prepared for this and began their “trial of patience”.

Un had sat for portraits before and knew the artist needed to ensure the stage was appropriately set for “The Peoples” portrait. There was only one gauntlet artist but they were VERY fast so “The Peoples” portraits were about identification and not presentation.

Fast forward to day 20. Un was a bit annoyed. The full 20 days had been reached so the ministers were right. 20 days is possible; although Un distinctly remembered there had been many recorded missions to this stage of the gauntlet in only 15 days. But what is a Spy Queen to do. Certainly today would be the day the artist has time for me.

The Spy Queen was about to find out just how hard spying in “the gauntlet of grading” could really be.

Fast forward to day 36. Un sat, as they had for 16 additional days. They looked completely defeated and could not believe what was happening to them. Were the ministers wrong, was this the “gauntlet purgatory” “The People” whispered about in the streets in the dark. The ministers had assured Un that was a child’s story, a myth. But the calendar did not lie, Un had counted each and every lightcycle. Have I become…forgotten? Or worse, have I become…lost?! Un simply could not think about such things. The terrifying endless possibilities spun through their head. Un tried to calm themselves , staring at the fluorescent tubes above until they too went out again in their un-ending cycle.

Un woke to the flash of the light cycle coming back on. They felt defeated, had all but determined that they had been forgotten, lost to the gauntlet forever. Un thought to themselves , It could be today, it could be tomorrow, who knows? The ministers are certainly set to be scolded upon my return, should I return. But then the box moved. For the first time in more days that Un could count they were finally going to see “the artist” and be sent back home.

Un was quickly moved through the “Grading/Quality Control” status at a hastened pace. The final stage where Un’s portrait would be viewed alongside Un for final verification of their newly assigned MS64 designation.

Un was actually unconcerned with such matters. 40, 58, 64, 69, all just numbers to Un. They never could understand the minister’s fascination over such silly things. Had laughed out loud many times in the past about some of the ministers’ “discussions”. But we need the ministers they say, so Un played along. Then faster than Un could imagine the photo was shot in a fraction of a second and Un was rushed to “Shipping”.

Un was shipped and handled as expected from that point on. Their “trial of patience” behind them. Un looked at the image from the gauntlet artist. Not bad Un thought, the artist seems to have gotten their lighting correctly set on this day. Un had seen many “The People” portraits where that had not been the case for the gauntlet artist.

Seemed like such a long wait for such a short time with the artist though. But this was the type of information the ministers were searching for so Un’s time as a Spy Queen was a complete success. Un felt proud to have been able to help strengthen the knowledge of the realm.

For Un’s victory portrait, the cabinet artist was at their beck and call and there would be no wait when Un returned. The cabinet artist’s 4 second image capture would be a breeze.

Un had done it, had even beaten the “gauntlet of grading”-”trial of patience” under the now confirmed “estimate clause”. The ministers were ecstatic with the information obtained and now that “the trial of patience” has been confirmed perhaps the ministers can find more time to spend with “The People”. Maybe the information will quell their silly arguments, maybe not. Un however, knew with certainty they would be celebrated as a hero of the realm. A cabinet celebration just for me Un thought. How exciting.

Grace and Luster

The concept for this story is not mine. It is the genius of **Craig Benson **to write a story from the point of view of a coin. I hope my tribute to the idea overshadows my plagiarizing of it and that I have done it justice. Many of my creative endeavors come about from another’s original idea. I suspect there will be other first person coin stories in my future as the creative pool on such an idea is quite simply limitless. As for LA REINA CAÍDA, they did make it through this “gauntlet of grading’ and the results described here are from my experience both in my past grading endeavors as well as this current one. I find it interesting that I have seen single coins with other submissions sail through the gauntlet in a 15 day window but they were included in a fairly decent sized submission overall. This little test was to see how the lowest of the low get shuttled through when submitted as a solo submission. 38 days to shipping for a standard WORLD MODERN? My overall sample size is limited so could just be a fluke or possibly the karma of a queen needing to learn a lesson on patience. A bit unimpressive is all I will say.

Originally published at https://laughlinmasterworks.substack.com.