89. Blind and Productive

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Dear London Fire Snake Scorpio,

It’s rather late, but I wanted to give you an update on my day and how things have been going. For the past few days, I have been drowning in my hobbies. I wrote to you about that in my previous letter. Yesterday, I spent most of the day reading about the Bazi and understanding my energy and all that. I was completely depleted.

When I reconnected to the crochet, I detoxed from stress so well that I simply didn’t want to leave it and fought to stay on that couch and crochet until the sun completely disappeared at 22:00. I showered and went to bed, and arguably had the best sleep I had in the past 3 years. Finally.

This morning I woke with a bit of a mood for the first time since the surgery was cancelled, and I wanted to keep the momentum, so I sat for 15 minutes of light box therapy. I did lightbox therapy for the past 4 days every morning because the depression was so severe with that last blow.

Only with the summer and the NDRIs I am taking it can be unpredictable, and so I set in motion a blinding migraine. I was resting the whole day, of course.

I was crocheting a lot today. First, I tried to do it while watching TV, but it didn’t have the same effect as yesterday. My nerves are so fried that when combining an auditory stimulant with my crochet, it felt overwhelming. I did have a few good moments of complete “quiet mind,” which is a very rare condition in ADHD, as soon as I turned the TV off.

I then took Drago to her teenage gynecologist, and she was prescribed the contraceptive pill for her heavy period. I am anxious about that one, let me tell you. I tried to keep a positive attitude for Drago’s sake, because she tends to stress out when I am uneasy. And, to be honest, there is a chance that this course will help her with her problem.

See, the way I see it, Drago has ADHD and anxiety, but none of the meds we tried for her worked. Maybe, I am thinking, her body is so exhausted by the heavy bleeding of 9 days a month, that with the other hard demands on her body (social pressure, her dance routines and the general exhaustion of teen changes, hormones and all that), she is just overtaxed and that is the reason for her being so snappy.

I always say to doctors: “I am not a doctor, but I am a professional mom.” And it seems to me that this is a probable theory that needs to be tested. So, she starts them tomorrow, and we will see the results in a month or two.

We left the clinic and went to a sushi place. Drago and I haven’t eaten out in ages. Last time we were at a sushi place, she was 7. It was one of those authentic Japanese places where the food is cheap and delicious, and we enjoyed it. The whole day was really fun, actually. Well, with her, I mean.

The texts from my idiot ex, who kept asking me if he should keep the girls (he picked up Piggy and Wolfy from school, because Drago and I had a day of appointments, obviously), even though I told him, like 5 times, that he should pick them up and drop them at school the next day — those were not fun, but he will be himself and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Drago and I were cracking up the whole day, though, even with the headache, I think we had a good time. We came home after the sushi place, and after a few good hours of vegging out on the couch next to each other while I crocheted, we went out for her next appointment.

The next appointment was with the Big Brother, Big Sister program. Drago, after waiting for almost 2 years, finally got matched. Her “big sister” is quite a cool personality, and I truly enjoyed the meeting. They totally clicked, and at the end of the meeting, we scheduled their first outing.

The conversation with the facilitator was very fun, and at the very end of the meeting, I entertained them with my newly acquired Bazi knowledge and did their charts. That was fun.

Ah! There was another part. Oh, you will be so proud of me, lol. So I don’t remember if I told you, but I was watching Alex Hormozi’s latest lessons on his YouTube channel, and he talked about creating proof of the work you do for clients by documenting it. Now, between you and me, I can admit I have zero clients, lol.

So he said: Do the work for free so you can publish it anyway. And I was thinking about all the amazing organizations that have helped us so far, and how most, if not all, of them could use my services. So I took the facilitator to the side for a moment, explained what I do, and offered my services for free in exchange for publishing the work I do for them, meaning claiming them as clients for my own marketing.

The facilitator was very excited, because I started the conversation with their greatest pain, of course: finding the volunteers. And I made a very good case. Considering that I have a blinding migraine, I think I did a proper pitch, and she said she will talk to her supervisor to continue the conversation. All in all, I offered to supply them with 3 years of my product for free. That is 13 packages. For each package, I charge around $2500.

I’d say it’s a brilliant way of giving back so that I will not feel that damn debt, while making a name for myself with one of the biggest and most solid organizations out there. I think putting their name as a client and writing about the process with them on my business blog is a very smart move forward.

I wanted to set them up with 3 years’ worth of product because I know that big systems like that are usually slow and cautious in changing the way they operate, even when it is for the best of the organization. I also offered a day where I can teach one of their reps how to continue the streak by teaching them the skill to make a lower-quality product (but good enough) themselves later if they cannot afford me. Which, let’s face it, they won’t be able to, most organizations like this are broke.

What do you think? I think I fucking rocked it.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the social worker of the social services again, and I will hear about their plan for us regarding the summer. I will also be more open this time about the PCOS, SAD and PTSD and lay out my plan for crafts and hobbies to see if there are any ways or connections they can supply me with the materials. I might also consult with the other social worker I know.

I think, honestly, all in all, it was a very productive day. And Drago and I had a blast, as I said. It might sound awful, but I cannot wait for the moment when all of the kids are a little older, and this would be my day’s end on a regular basis.

I didn’t go to buy the surgical bras today, though. I feel that because the surgery was postponed, I can wait a little longer. And yesterday I was refused to become a partner on Medium. That’s a setback in getting this letter in a digital bottle out there in the world.

But I think I found the reason, and it’s an easy fix. It was my fault, really, because I applied when I had a migraine, yet again, and missed a crucial point in the application. I will fix it on the weekend when my head lets go of the pain a little. I got this. Slow, steady and completely unconventional.

Love you with all my heart, Good night, my heart. Always yours, Oxy. June 16, 2026

Help me find him: Have you seen this man?