I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face

I’m not sure if it is an age thing or a maturity thing, maybe both, but there are situations that make me think deeper about what environments I move in and let me see past my 45. I am affectionate to technology and an active user, I like trends…, but to be honest, never in my life have I felt the need to let myself be dictated by them or to define who I am or have to be. When the Golf GTI was the greatest car and the trendiest sneakers were Michael Jordans, I was dancing with my friends not even thinking about what people thought I had to wear. I love nice clothes and environments, but at the same time I could say that the only facades that impress me are the architectural ones, the ones somebody sat down, created, thought about and let us all enjoy for a long time. I adore designers, as they are creators, people that find beauty in textures, textile feelings and structures — I could go on with furniture, flower bouquets, etc. The facade itself is what we see, but the beauty is in the essence, its composition, what made it possible — in two words, the substance of the person that created it.

Maybe this comes inherited from many moves when I was a child, where substance leads you to where you go, with who you hang out — you don’t have time, neither patience, to lose minutes with superfluous things. Obviously, I have been a teenager too, oh gosh, and with all its characteristics, better you don’t see the pictures — so I went through all the states: from curly hair to straight, short, long, all in between, changing the way I dressed, “being against the world not sure why”, until I found myself, etc. Everyone said, wait until the 30s crisis, then the 40s crisis, but I crossed them with no harm and then it hit me.

You know those days where you just need a mental break from all the noise? You have a busy day and the only thing you need is green around you, even if it is a bench in the park? Well, I sat down, and as many times before I started noticing people around me while I was enjoying my “slow motion” half-hour lunch. People were running with no real direction, kids with mobile phones while the ones taking care of them were chatting among themselves. At night I went for dinner and it amazed me how two grown-ups, romantic partners apparently, shared a meal, made loads of pictures of the food in between and continued speaking on WhatsApp.

A few weeks later, as we all do at some point, I went to some meetings and professional events and it was great, but nobody was really interested in seeing the person — the only thing that mattered was what the person could contribute and what they could get from the interaction. Fair enough, we were in professional gatherings, but where have we left the finesse and elegance of a “how are you? Nice to meet you?” and then move forward? Or letting somebody pass before you at the door while you hold it? I am not speaking about machismo and feminism — I am a woman and I consider these details a matter of respect and education, a minimum of social décor.

We are living at a fast-moving pace, I get it, but we all live in the same one and nowadays the human side often gets buried. We see it all the time in the news — kids crushing others to the floor while others film it and nobody does anything, the same behaviour in other environments, bullies in sports, people taking advantage and mistreating others at work. There is a misalignment in society that gets reflected in work environments and an incoherence that shows in companies. Till now, if it is liquid and white and tastes like milk, it is milk — so if we want to be coherent with ourselves and our environment, everything starts with us and will be reflected in our work.

Not sure why, but lately many friends have had their ideas stolen, because somebody thought it clever to use them for their own benefit, after being shared by the original owner in confidence. To gain position or points towards a job, a market? What happens when this idea doesn’t work anymore or they need to defend it? It seems that nothing… as the pace of movement does not allow for checking the credibility of a specific idea. We see it all the time — people who publish content that is not originally theirs, and when challenged or asked about it because it sounds interesting, the facade breaks.

Today I was watching The Devil Wears Prada 2, great movie by the way — I loved it as much as the first part — and what amazes me is that in a very elegant way it shows a reality that is not too far from what we see every day.

Franz Kafka used to say: “I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face.”

And I ask you — did he really have to be ashamed of being authentic?