The Scenes I Secretly Watch Without My Husband

I’d die of embarrassment if I watched these scenes with anyone else. But I’m willing to talk about them here. Not sure what that says about me . . .

All I need is popcorn now | Vladimir Fedotov (Unsplash)

I’m a bit of an introvert. I’ll watch movies and TV shows with my spouse and others and enjoy it very much. But if there is a particular scene that really moves me, makes me feel something, I get embarrassed watching in front of other people.

It’s stupid, I know. But I don’t like showing weakness to others. I also don’t like to watch a really good-looking man I’m drooling over when my husband is sitting right there. Well, it’s just embarrassing.

So what follows are a collection of movie and TV scenes that I love; scenes that I could watch over and over — if I’m by myself. Maybe you’ve seen them, maybe you haven’t. But I think you find them entertaining.

Spoiler Alert

I don’t provide a complete plot summary of these movies and shows, but I do talk about key points in the stories and sometimes mention the endings. So if you haven’t seen any of these and you don’t want to know, this ain’t the article for you, Hon. Go read something else. Enough said.

1 Pride & Prejudice 2005 | That Scene in the Meadow

Focus Features., Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=30525992

I had to start with this one. It’s the scene I always think of first. Toward the end of the film, Darcy comes striding across that meadow, his coat sweeping the ground around him, his white shirt open just a bit. His hair is rather long and mussed. He is lovelorn. You see the emotional longing in his eyes — oh, those beautiful eyes.

He’s a gift from the Baby Jesus. THIS is a MAN, people. NOT an arrogant, bullish, muscle-bound, dumbass BRO. Fuck that. He is a MAN. Strong, gentle, intelligent, manly. Oh, my.

This is my favorite romantic movie scene of all time. I’ll call it now: it’s in the top 5 romantic scenes ever put to film. Now, I know that’s my opinion, but I’m not the only one who thinks so. This scene often shows up in “most romantic movie scene” lists. And for good reason. It is the epitome of “romance.” It’s not about sex. It’s not over the top. It’s understated. But the emotional chemistry between these two people is palpable. It’s quietly electric.

One reason is the environment in which the scene takes place. The English countryside on a misty, early morning. The land is still rather dark, the sky a deep blue, but brightening above. Elizabeth Bennet (brilliantly played by Keira Knightley) is walking by herself across the field. She stops, looking to the distance. Off aways she sees Darcy (played so wonderfully by Matthew Macfadyen) striding toward her.

I won’t do a play-by-play, but when they finally meet, the emotion between them is perfect. Simply perfect.

I have to give a shout out to Italian composer Dario Marianelli, who wrote the score for the music that plays during that scene. It would not have been as emotionally effective as it was without that music. It begins subtly, quiet, but you feel the force of the emotions underneath in that quiet melody. The music grows in volume and in intensity, perfectly accompanying the scene being played out onscreen.

You just have to watch — it’s simply divine.

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2 The Last of the Mohicans 1992 | Two Scenes

Hawkeye, ladies, am I right? | By IMDb, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9371704

This movie is a treat for the eye — it is gorgeously filmed. The spectacular countryside provides the perfect backdrop for the dramatic scenes that play out within it.

There are a couple of reasons I watch this by myself. One is that it is amazingly dramatic. Even over the top, maybe. I don’t usually like this kind of exaggerated drama and if my hubby saw me enthralled over this movie, I’d die of embarrassment.

But the main thing is . . .Hawkeye. When he comes running through the woods, his long rifle (Ha!) at the ready, long hair flying behind him, piercing eyes staring right into your soul . . . Oh, Sweet Lord. There is a God.

You know, I’ve got to be honest. I don’t get what it is about Cora (the female lead) that makes her so alluring to almost every man in this film except her father and the one guy attracted to her sister. I just don’t get it. I’m sorry.

But Hawkeye (Daniel Day Lewis). Damn. He’s easy on the eyes to be sure, but it’s his intensity, his magnetic, yet quiet charisma that draws me. You don’t want to look away. I watch it even when I don’t have to.

There are actually two scenes that are particularly memorable to me in terms of their romanticism:

1. Major Heyward sacrifices his life for Cora

Now, I have to admit up front that Major Heyward does not “do it” for me. I don’t find him attractive and for most of the film, he’s a real pain in the ass.

That being said, he obviously loves Cora (again, why, I just don’t know). But there comes a point in the movie when Cora is about to be burned at the stake by the Huron Indians. Heyward steps forward and offers his own life in place of Cora’s, much to her dismay. (Good on her, for at least having the decency to act upset about it.) Cora and Hawkeye escape. As Heyward is burning in agony, Hawkeye shoots him from a distance to allow him a merciful death. (Good on him.)

Okay, THAT’S romantic, folks. Brutal, harsh, horrible — yes. But the man sacrifices himself for the woman he loves. Gotta give him some props for that. And every time I see it, I tear up. It’s heart-wrenching.

2. The iconic, romantic line from Hawkeye.

This line is primarily what the film is known for. The main characters are running from the Huron Indians and are cornered behind a waterfall. As the water cascades behind them, they all realize that the best long-term strategy is for the men to go and for the women to remain there and be taken. The men will try to save them later.

Hawkeye, understandably, is not real keen on this idea, but realizes it’s their only choice. And so, he looks at Cora and dramatically implores her to, “Stay alive, no matter what occurs! No matter how long it takes. No matter how far. I will find you!”

I mean, come on. What heterosexual woman doesn’t want to have a man say that to her? Looking like Daniel Day-Lewis? As Hawkeye? With those piercing eyes? Have mercy.

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3 The Big Easy 1986 | The “Work” Seduction Scene

Southern romance! | Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=14195002

This one is labeled an “American neo-noir romantic thriller film,” but make no mistake — it’s a Southern film. And that’s one of the reasons I love it. But simply being Southern isn’t enough — Lord knows there are a lot of really crappy films set in the South. This one is also a great mystery movie, so there’s that. And it shows Louisiana culture beyond the stereotypical “Mardi Gras” New Orleans, which I also like.

But what keeps me watching is the chemistry between the two lead actors and in particular, one key scene.

You’ve got New Orleans police lieutenant Remy McSwain (played impishly and adorably by Dennis Quaid long before he fell on his head and became a Trump fan for reasons unknown). May I just say that Quaid does a fine job playing a southern man here? A complex man, with good and bad points, but at the end of the day, the kind of southern man I grew up with and love. And there’s State District Attorney Anne Osborne (wonderfully portrayed by Ellen Barkin as “sexy, but repressed”). They are forced to work together on an alleged police corruption case. Blah, blah, blah, ok.

Their chemistry is amazing. It is intense. Critics refer to the two actors’ “smoldering eroticism,” and I’d second that. The famous “working” scene I’m thinking of unfolds inside Osborne’s French Quarter apartment. Remy is playfully teasing her; Anne is trying to remain professional but is thawing. Eventually, she simply cannot deny her feelings for him.

At one point that I will never forget, he leans over her, kisses her, reaches behind her head and gently loosens her hair. Oh, my sweet Lord. Yes, sir. The rest of the scene is a steamy seduction, set to music. Extremely sexy and poignant. But at one point, she reaches down and . . . it’s evident from his reaction that she’s hurt him and she’s very embarrassed, but he laughs and she does too, and it’s actually very sweet. It’s two people right at the beginning of a relationship, learning about each other.

Sexy, but also sweet in an almost innocent way. Super cool.

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4 Body Heat 1981 | the “Outside/Inside” Scene

A Force of Nature | By Warner Bros. — Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=12181462

This one just happens to also be set in the South, but it’s the Florida south. Very different than the culture of The Big Easy. Like Easy, it’s labeled an “American neo-noir erotic thriller film,” but in this case, I think it’s an apt description. The film reminds me of the 1944 noir classic, Double Indemnity, with Fred Macmurray and Barbara Stanwyck, two people having an affair and who plot to kill her husband for the insurance payout.

In Body Heat, William Hurt plays womanizing kind-of-sleezy lawyer Ned Racine. Hurt was perfect for the role: he is intellectual, masculine, and sensual all at the same time. At times, self-assured and charming; but at other times, he reveals a vulnerability that becomes his undoing.

Then there is Kathleen Turner. That woman is a phenomenon of nature in this film. You’re left in awe. The New York Times noted her “frank sexuality born of robust physicality.” In 1995, Empire magazine named her one of the “100 Sexiest Stars in Film History” and it was due to Body Heat. I maintain it’s largely due to the scene I remember best. The iconic “outside/inside” sequence in the film.

Turner plays Matty Walker, the young wife of a shady businessman. She begins an affair with Ned and over time the two of them become more and more obsessed with each other.

In this famous scene, Matty kisses Ned on her porch but tells him he has to leave. She retreats into her mansion. There is no one else there and the audience sees a large, dark interior, echoing silence. Ned stalks back to his car, visibly frustrated and overwhelmed by desire. You see him stand outside in the humid darkness during a South Florida heatwave.

Unable to help himself, he goes back to the house, looking into the window-paneled door at Matty, who stands there looking back at him. The door is locked and we see him prowl the exterior, growing increasingly desperate to gain entrance. During this whole thing, Matty stands in the middle of the dark room, seeming to grow more desperate herself, but unwilling to open the door. Ned finally grabs a metal patio chair, throwing it through the glass door and . . . well watch the video, my friends.

I DECLARE. Lord have mercy. It’s enough to curl your hair.

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Not every scene I sneak comes from the movies. There are a few from TV shows that make my heart go pitter patter too. I’ll just include a few here:

5 Sherlock Season 2, Episode 3 2012 | The Reichenbach Fall

Oh, if I were 18 and single again! | Fat Les (bellaphon) from London, UK, derivative work: RanZag (talk) — CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=15323212

Sherlock stands as an exception to all the other movies/TV episodes I discuss in this article. It’s different because there’s no romance here. I’m drawn to it for one reason alone — Benedict Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock Holmes.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not Cumberbatch himself. I think Cumberbatch is an amazing actor, one of the best of his generation, without a doubt. I will watch him in pretty much any role.

But it’s his Sherlock that won my heart. Sherlock is the man of my teenage dreams, folks. Tall, dark, wavy, unkempt hair. Piercing eyes that seem to go straight into your soul. Brilliant, sharp-witted, serious, but with a dry sense of humor. And British too? Sweet Jesus, I’m undone. [I find this all very funny, given that the man I’ve been happily married to for over 30 years is a tall, blond, blue-eyed, Southern man — brilliant, sharp-witted, good sense of humor to be sure, but not Sherlock. Go figure.]

So I watch Sherlock in secret so I can drool over this British hotty. That’s it. No romance involved. But in this second season finale episode there is chemistry of a different sort; specifically, the friendship between Sherlock and Watson, and the animosity between Sherlock and Moriarty. Especially Sherlock and Moriarty.

On one hand, you have Cumberbatch, who is the definitive Sherlock Holmes, as far as I’m concerned. I know there will be strong dissent about this and that’s fine. But I’ve seen various Sherlocks going all the way back to Basil Rathbone and I have to go with Cumberbatch — he just does it for me. To explain why would be a whole other article.

THE Moriarty | By Raph_PH — BlueMoon, CC BY 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=189115028

Ditto for Andrew Scott, who portrays Sherlock’s nemesis, Jim Moriarty in a way I have never seen the character played before. I don’t think this one requires debate; Scott is the best Moriarty ever. Period, full stop. Brilliant, intense, darkly funny, gifted, just inspired. More than a worthy adversary for Sherlock.

The whole episode is glorious, but specifically I love to watch the final battle of wits that occurs on a rooftop between Sherlock and Moriarty. There is sizzling chemistry between these two actors; their passion, hatred, and anger is palpable. I can’t turn away.

I also can’t turn away (although I might want to) during the tragic, final phone call between Sherlock and Watson. Sherlock on the roof, talking to Watson on the ground as he admits it’s his suicide note. Watson, confused and increasingly alarmed, tries desperately to calm his friend and talk him off the ledge to no avail. Martin Freeman, playing Watson, provides the perfect balance of fear and anger; he doesn’t understand why Sherlock is doing this, he is scared for his friend, and also angry because there is a part of him that believes this is one of Sherlock’s stunts. Until it becomes apparent it is not, stunning him into shocked silence.

The episode is riveting drama and I highly recommend it. Bring a box of tissues, though — you’ll need them.

NOTE: This video clip shows self-harm. It can be disturbing. If you are suffering mental health issues or thoughts of self-harm, please do not watch this.*

You can always contact ‘988’ for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Know that you are not alone.

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6 The Mentalist Season 6, Episode 22 2014 | Blue Bird

Patrick Jane & Theresa Lisbon | They are wonderful together, why can’t they figure that out?https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/the-mentalist

Ok, let’s get back to the romance, shall we?

I have a love/hate relationship with this series. I adore the main character, Patrick Jane (played perfectly by Simon Baker). (By the way, Baker reminded me why I love men in suits with a vest. He wore them very well, ladies. Very well.) Jane is a complex character; in some ways smart, witty, insightful, funny, even gentle and caring at times. In other ways, deeply broken, melancholy, cynical. He makes for interesting viewing.

But the series let me down over the course of its run. Again, it would take a whole article to go into that, so I won’t. What I will do is talk about a pivotal scene six seasons in between Jane and the other main lead, Teresa Lisbon (deftly played by Robin Tunney). Fans of the show watched these two characters move closer to each other over the years, but they were both hesitant (for different reasons) to cross the line into a romantic relationship.

That changed in the Blue Bird episode. Lisbon tells Jane she is getting on a plane to accept a proposal from another man (she does not love). Jane waits until the last possible moment, finally(!) comes to his senses, manages to get on the plane (yeah, I know, this is next to impossible post 9–11, just go with it), and in front of everyone makes his true feelings known in a heart-wrenching monologue fans have been waiting for. The scene actually wraps up in an interrogation room, because Jane is arrested for (duh) breaking into the plane. But it is sweet.

It is also between two adults — people who have been hurt badly in the past and are finally ready to accept love with each other. There’s no teenage angst here. No melodramatic proclamations of passion between two youngsters who have known each other for, oh, 3 days? Instead you have two people who over time have realized that they are perfect for each other and can’t imagine their lives without each other.

Did I mention its’ sweet? It’s not Body Heat. But I still love it.

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7 Friends Season 2, Episode 14 1996 | The One with the Prom Video

The cast of Friends looking cute | By An article in The Baltimore Sun, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=20960240

I won’t be surprised if you have seen this one. Friends had a huge fan base, and it was must-see viewing for people my age and probably a bit younger. It follows the lives of six close friends in their 20s and 30s in Manhattan, living in apartments WAY better than they have any business being in, giving what they do for a living. (Just sayin’.)

Anyway, the big romance for most of the show was between Ross and Rachel. The scene I’m thinking about, like the one from the Mentalist, doesn’t have steamy seduction, or sultry glances. It’s sweet and romantic. (I’m just a sucker for that stuff.)

The gang finds an old video that shows teenage versions of Rachel, her friend (and later roommate) Monica, and Monica’s older brother Ross, who secretly has had a crush on Rachel since back then. Rachel and Monica are dressed for the prom, and when Rachel thinks her date is a no-show, Monica’s parents convince Ross to get in a tux and stand in. Nervous, Ross agrees and goes to change. While he is gone, the date shows up and they all leave. Ross comes down the stairs in the tux, looking confused and embarrassed.

Cut back to the adults sitting in the living room, Ross is at the front door, looking sad and embarrassed that they watched the video — none of them had ever seen the ending. Rachel looks over at Ross, stands up, walks over to him — and she kisses him.

That’s it. Sounds kind of vanilla-blah, right? But it isn’t. It’s memorable. It is dramatic and passionate. You’re witness to the moment when a woman sees a man with new eyes and a man lives out the dream he’s had for years. It’s just sweet and wonderful.

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8 The Office, Season 2, Episode 22 2006 | Casino Night

Pam & Jim, looking adorable | Photo: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via

While cute anecdotes about The Office’s writers room often emerge from the wild every year or so, its 15th anniversary has resulted in an extensive new book about the sitcom by Andy Greene. It’ll take you hours to go through all of the gossip and oral histories, but we’d like to direct you to one particularly interesting tidbit that involves the second greatest couple in TV history: It was originally planned for Jim and Pam to split up in the final season, only to reconcile in the series finale. Per Greene’s book, The Office: The Untold

The first few seasons of The Office have to be some of the funniest material I’ve ever seen on American television. I watched the British original this series is based on and it’s funny, I’ll grant you, but I prefer the American version. I actually used several scenes from early episodes of this show in my college Organizational Behavior course to illustrate things like conflict management, leadership (or lack thereof), diversity issues, etc.

But one of the reasons fans of the show (like me) watched The Office was to see Pam and Jim get together. That didn’t actually happen until season 3. At the end of season 2, however, we got Casino Night.

In this episode, Jim stops Pam outside a party and finally lets her know that she is more than a friend to him. Flustered, she goes into the office and calls her mom to talk it out. Jim comes in, walks up close to her, they look at each other, and kiss. For fans, it was a long time coming.

It was very sweet and romantic. Simple, straightforward, adorable. Kind of like Pam and Jim. The fact that this scene and the relationship writ large works so well is due in no small part to Jenna Fischer (Pam) and John Krasinski (Jim). These actors embody Pam and Jim; they are authentic and make us believe these two people are meant to be together. When they share a laugh with each other, we believe it. We believe they like (and will soon love) each other.

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9 True Blood Season 1, Episode 6 2008 | “Cold Ground”

Put the kids to bed first, folks! | https://trueblood.fandom.com/wiki/Bill_and_Sookie

Well, ya’ll, you may want to send the children out of the room for this one. True Blood is not for the kiddoes. But boy, did I like it. This show had some good-looking men, folks. I mean, that’s a whole lotta man right there to pick from. Lord, have mercy. Any of the three main male leads could have parked their boots under my bed any day. (If I were a single lady, of course.)

The show touts itself as Southern, and I suppose it is, but it really isn’t. It’s set in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana — ok. But precious few of the actors on the show act southern, talk southern, are southern. So, there’s that. But at the end of the day, I guess I didn’t care enough to turn it off. Did I mention the men on this show? Jesus, Lord, have mercy.

It’s based on The Southern Vampire Mysteries, a series of novels by Charlaine Harris, herself a southerner. (The books are more authentically southern in nature, by the way.) The books are also fairly tame compared to the show; they took the show from a mild PG to a definite R rating.

The series centers around Sookie Stackhouse (played by Anna Paquin), a telepathic waitress at a local bar/diner. In this parallel universe, vampires are out in the open since the invention of a synthetic blood product branded “Tru Blood.” But not everyone is thrilled with their presence.

Sookie falls in love with 174-year-old vampire Bill Compton (played by the very sexy Stephen Moyer) and it’s the episode where they hook up that I keep coming back to. This couple — who later married in real life — have incredible chemistry together. They manage to portray romance and lust in equal parts. Sookie prepares to meet Bill by letting her hair out and putting on this flowing white gown (symbolism anyone?). She then runs through a wooded path, where they run into each other’s arms in a passionate embrace.

This is not sweet, romantic material, folks. And what comes next most definitely isn’t either. But it sure is hot. Honey, they weren’t just acting; they’re carryin’ on something fierce.

The video below is the point in the episode where they run to each other, which is very nice. I couldn’t find any clips of what comes later on YouTube — draw your own conclusions. But True Blood streams on a bunch of different services so you can go look for yourself if you’re interested.

And if you like looking at really good-looking men — you’ll be interested, trust me.

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So, there you have it. Scenes from movies and TV that I watch when I have the TV to myself. Some are sweet and romantic, some are a little more than romantic, sometimes it’s just the chemistry between characters or the pull of a character himself. I want to experience these moments without embarrassment and if I watched them in front of anyone, even my husband, well I would just die.

So they are a private pleasure. Except here, when I talk about them. This was kind of fun! I’d be interested in hearing about your favorite clips you’d rather not watch with others. We can start a collection!

But for now, I believe I’ll go watch Darcy stride across that English countryside again. Good Lord, but that man is easy on the eyes.

The inimitable Darcy, Lord have mercy | https://www.tiktok.com/discover/mr-darcy-walking-scene-successiom-edit