Judiciously Defined

Finally, there is something that Trump 2.0 and I agree on.

Yesterday, RFK, Jr issued new Dietary Guidelines. Dr Oz, Oprah’s favorite medico and therefore qualified to run Medicare, eliminated that nasty two alcoholic drink per day maximum. “People should drink judiciously. Alcohol is a social lubricant that brings people together. There’s probably nothing healthier than having a good time with friends in a safe way.”

Define “judiciously”, Dr. Oz. Man of science that he is, “judiciously” means “consume less alcohol for better overall health”. However, pregnant women, those recovering from alcohol use disorder and patients taking certain medications should avoid alcohol altogether.” Great definition, Dr. Oz.

Those “Nanny State” Democrats actually defined “judicious” drinking as no more than two drinks a day for men, and one drink for women while explaining the risks associated with heavy drinking, such as heart disease, liver disease and some types of cancer. They also defined binge drinking as five drinks within two hours for men, and four for women. Have those Dems never attended a frat party? Five drinks in two hours is for wimps.

While they were at it, they cited a study that showed that males who consume two drinks per day have a 1 in 25 chance of dying prematurely from alcohol. Binge drinkers likely have a far greater risk of death from drunk driving or messing with a motorcycle gang than disease.

Don’t worry, drinkers. Alcohol probably won’t kill you as fast as whole milk, butter, and red meat that are atop The New Food Pyramid replacing the dreaded leafy, green vegetables that Joe Biden and the Dems were forcing us to eat. Again, Donnie and I agree that a stick of deep-fried butter is better than a serving of kale.

By Ed Dufton