Grandma- Nani/Bejee

Grandma- Nani/Bejee

In her loving memory-

Photo by Maksym Mazur on Unsplash

What will I feel When I go to her home? How will her room look? Will I look for her? Is her smell still in there? In her pillow and sheets

Does the home, the walls Also look for her? Her warm and endearing smile? Her shiny glittery eyes Her cute laughter The liveliness of hers

Will I miss her loving welcome Her heart warming hug Her smell, her wrinkled hands The way she looked at me Her outpouring love Which never ever needed words

Her silver hair always oiled Tied neatly with a center partition In a single cute braid turned into bun Her songs, her stories Her child like engagement While playing cards Her doing the math To count her points In her 90s amazed & amused me

Her recalling my childhood stories And reliving past incidents Rejoicing with excitement At the same time her focus On my plate, whether I’m eating or not Her concern and insisting To eat more, refill or replace As if she would feel satiated If I eat and relish

Her enquires dipped in care Dripping love and curiosity Making sure I’m fine Then focusing on my kid The sight of her playing With my daughter Filled me with a joy, unmatched

The way she held my hand While saying goodbye Which she complained was too soon Enquiring when will I come next And showering me with blessings

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

This year on her birthday I wanted to wish her “What’s stopping you?” I asked myself Closed my eyes And conversations started flowing Started with flashbacks When she shared her secrets And so did I Such was our bond

I remembered her stories/incidents With my grandfather I was curious to experience love from her perspective She showed me how it felt like How she misses him How I used to share And be vulnerable with her And yet felt so safe

Oh! I had to share something really important with her!!! And I started Something which was close to my heart Yet disturbing me I felt she was listening After a few moments I realized my heart healed Within minutes I was writing again This is the power Of connecting with the ones we love

I know she is around Still showering us With her blessings That’s how she is But those fortunate moments With her can’t be alive With our senses anymore Embracing that vacuum Graciously In my heart I acknowledge That love always remains