Choose Better Partners

Photo by Allan Mas:

Pick someone who has stabilised their past, or is from a stable past. Choosing someone who is unstable in any way will stunt and hinder a lot of your progress in the future.

What is unstable? Traumas, toxic upbringings/tendencies, spoilt–rotten. Addictions to drugs, sex, alcohol, public-facing life, status chasing/climbing, pleasure seeking, celebrity worship, reactive hostility and high conflict (drama), learned helplessness e.t.c.

My point is, people who are stuck in their dark, ugly pasts, will have you stuck in their doom–loops, reliving and trying to conquer past misfortune or overcome regret on their behalf, trying to save them — which ends up wasting the present (which is all we ever have).

Any hopes, any plans you had for any future are smothered and suffocated by this unstoppable encroachment of their ‘dark holds’. You learn the hardest, most painful lesson: you can’t compete with anyone’s traumas, regrets, pasts, or addictions.

This is NOT to say that everyone from an unstable past will be bad for your future, no. In fact, those who overcome their unstable or troubled pasts make for the best, most stable, reliable, above-board, futurist partners — they move fast, with great precision, and healthy caution.

Love is about transforming the present into an idyllic, meaningful, secure future, but you have to actively and willingly remove any obstacles that may jeopardize it, or it’ll end in tears.

If the present is all we have, picking a partner that is unhindered, whether by overcoming their painful pasts or are lucky enough to never have had any, allows the futurists in both of you to thrive.

There’s no better teamwork I can think of.

PS: Be that partner. (to choose better, you have to be better). PPS: It’s not easy being that stand up partner, but it’s meaningful & worth it.

All the best, be the best.