BEING THE YOUNGEST.

“As I grow older, I realized that life isn’t what we always want”.

As I grow older, I slowly realize that being the youngest in the family means being the one who’s left behind. ‎ ‎As I grow older, I thought I am loved just the way I want to be loved, not knowing I am not contented enough to feel that way. People always say that I am lucky to be the youngest one since being the youngest means I am the favorite and the spoiled one; they don’t know that it is not how they think it looks. People slowly start leaving me, and it hurts knowing I can’t do anything about it. ‎ ‎I have accepted the fact that my siblings will also soon leave me with their own families and can finally breathe, leaving the toxic house full of shouting and full of arguments. Not realizing they left me there with no choices to choose but to stay and live in that kind of environment. ‎ ‎I am just a kid who wants to be loved the way I deserve but didn’t even experience being heard. I am the kid they didn’t have to worry about, because they thought I could do it by myself without their help. ‎ ‎Experiencing these circumstances makes me more isolated. I had difficulty opening my problems up with my family or even my own parents. Thinking that if I ever open my problems to anyone, I feel like a burden to them and that I can just add up to their own problems. That’s why I always chose not to tell anything to them and just kept it to myself. ‎ ‎As I grow older, I now understand how life really works.