Why Wait Till Someone Is Martyred? Some Changes Need Only Empathy

The recent film Amaran, portraying the life of Major Mukund, has made people pause and reflect on the silent sacrifices of Indian Army personnel and their families, especially their spouses. These individuals, often unseen and uncelebrated, are the backbone of military households, holding fort while their partners serve the nation. Their contributions, however, are too often overlooked, and their challenges remain unresolved. Why must we wait for tragedy to highlight their stories when changes — grounded in empathy — could make a difference today?

The Life of Indian Defence Spouses: Unseen Sacrifices

Multifaceted Roles Amid Relocations

Defence spouses, particularly women wedded to the olive greens, navigate a life of constant movement. With frequent relocations, they manage households, raise children as single parents, and build new communities wherever they go. Each new posting demands a reinvention of their personal and professional identities, often at the cost of their own aspirations.

Career Sacrifices and Financial Impact

For most defence families, a stable career for the spouse is an unattainable luxury. Relocations every 2–3 years disrupt career progression, leaving many spouses unable to pursue long-term goals. This absence of a second income places undue financial strain on the family, particularly during the officer’s retirement. Unlike other countries, India lacks comprehensive resettlement programs that support military families in transitioning to civilian life.

For retired officers, the challenge of convincing the corporate world of their worth after decades of service compounds this struggle. A working spouse could ease this burden, allowing the officer to pursue roles aligned with their expertise and dignity. However, without systemic support, these families often face significant financial and emotional hardships.

Global Lessons: What Other Armies Have Done

Support Systems for Defence Spouses

Countries like the U.S., U.K., and Australia recognize the critical role of military spouses and have implemented robust programs:

• U.S.: The Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP) connects spouses to over 600 employers, ensuring job continuity despite relocations.
• U.K.: The Defence Spouse Employment Support program funds education and training for military spouses.
• Australia: The Defence Family Support Program provides grants for starting businesses or pursuing further education.

Inclusivity in Definition: Civilian Husbands as Military Spouses

Globally, civilian husbands of female officers are considered military spouses and are supported equally. This inclusivity acknowledges that career disruptions and financial instability affect all defence families, regardless of gender.

India, however, has yet to adopt such inclusive approaches. With more women joining the armed forces, the struggles of civilian husbands could shine a light on the broader issues faced by defence spouses. Men’s career interruptions, which are socially perceived as more problematic, might finally bring the challenges of military families to the forefront.

The Gendered Narrative: Women’s Struggles Are Invisible

In India, women’s absence from the workforce is normalized, even trivialized, whereas men without work are seen as societal failures. This bias exacerbates the invisibility of army wives’ struggles. Their sacrifices, often labeled as “duty,” are dismissed unless framed within the larger context of their families’ financial or emotional hardships.

The entrance of more women into the armed forces could be a turning point. As civilian husbands face the same career disruptions long endured by army wives, society might begin to empathize with the struggles of defence spouses as a whole. This shift could lead to:

• Greater Awareness: Men’s experiences could highlight the systemic issues of relocations and career breaks.
• Policy Advocacy: Gender-inclusive support systems for all defence spouses.
• Corporate Initiatives: Programs to hire spouses with non-linear career paths, recognizing their resilience and versatility.

What Corporates Can Do

Indian corporates have the power to drive change by addressing the unique challenges faced by defence spouses:

1. Dedicated Hiring Programs: Design specific recruitment drives for defence spouses, akin to returnship programs for women.
2. Flexible Work Options: Offer remote roles and project-based jobs to accommodate frequent relocations.
3. Skill Recognition: Value the multidisciplinary skills defence spouses develop — adaptability, leadership, and problem-solving.
4. Training and Reskilling: Partner with organizations to provide training and certifications for military spouses.

By collaborating with the armed forces, companies can create a pipeline of talented, resilient professionals who have much to offer.

A Call for Change: Beyond Tragedy

It should not take a martyrdom or a cinematic portrayal for us to notice the sacrifices of military families. These families, who live with unshakable resilience, deserve empathy, recognition, and support. Some immediate actions can include:

• Inclusive Resettlement Programs: Tailored courses with guaranteed placements for both officers and their spouses.
• Education and Grants: Financial aid for military spouses to pursue higher education or entrepreneurship.
• Community Networks: Establish peer support systems to help defence spouses navigate the complexities of their lives.

Empathy is the foundation of any meaningful change. By understanding the challenges of defence spouses and acting on their needs, we honor not only those who serve but also those who support them in silence.

Conclusion

The silent strength of Indian defence spouses is as integral to the nation’s defense as the uniformed personnel themselves. Their struggles — career sacrifices, financial instability, and emotional burdens — deserve to be addressed with urgency and empathy. By learning from global practices and embracing inclusive, systemic changes, we can ensure that these families receive the dignity and support they rightfully deserve. Why wait for a loss to wake us up? Some changes, after all, need only a little empathy.