The Magic of a Mrs. Roper Pub Crawl

A curly red wig, a caftan, and some chunky accessories are all one needs to conjure the surprisingly beloved Helen Roper.

Last Saturday I participated in the inaugural Mrs. Roper Caftan Crawl in Dayton, Ohio. It was magical fun, for reasons that defy logic. After all Mrs. Roper, a minor character on a 70s sitcom, should have become a footnote in television sitcom history by now.

Mrs. Helen Roper (portrayed by Audra Lindley), the sex-starved and often randy wife of landlord Stanley Roper, beamed into to US living rooms from 1977 to 1979 as part of the US television show Three’s Company, starring John Ritter, Joyce DeWitt, and Suzanne Somers as three roommates living under false pretenses in Stanley Roper’s building. A sign of the times, Stanley’s conservatism wouldn’t allow him to rent an apartment to males and females unless they were married. Ritter’s character, Jack Tripper, pretended to be gay to skirt the issue. The series had a pretty remarkable run, largely due to the slapstick-style physical comedy and hilarious misunderstandings that often drove the plot. The show enjoyed sustained popularity, in spite of Somers’ eventual departure and replacement. In season four, the Ropers moved on and management of the building was handed off to Mr. Ralph Furley (Don Knotts).

My partner Dan brought Mrs. Roper to life a couple of years ago for Halloween, and since then we’ve discovered that Mrs. Roper pub crawls were popping up all over the US. A curly red wig, a caftan, and some chunky accessories is all one needs to conjure the surprisingly beloved Helen Roper.

Dan and I found out about one happening in Columbus, but we were going to be out of town that weekend. Then while at a friend’s Halloween party, we found out there was going to be one in Dayton. We each whipped out our phones and, after a few screen taps, all had Mrs. Roper outfits delivered in time for Saturday’s festivities.

Registration for the Mrs. Roper Caftan Crawl began at noon at Little Fish Brewing Company, the first stop on our crawl. I drove from Columbus, my caftan, wig, necklace, earrings, and glasses stashed in a canvas bag on the passenger seat. I almost got dressed at home and drove there as Helen, but having driven to a Halloween party as a slutty nun, I learned that high fashion can be distracting when, enamored by my fake fingernails, I ended up on the rumble strip twice. Once parked, I slipped into my Roper couture and stepped inside trepidatiously.

There were a handful of Helens already inside, including our host and event coordinators. We were instructed to take selfies with the Stanleys, one a life-size cardboard cutout and the other a square that framed you and Stanley together. We were handed a paper itinerary, with a QR code that linked to a donation page for the Greater Dayton LGBTQ Center. The number of Helens, both male and female, continued to grow, joined by at least one Mr. Roper and a Mr. Furley who seemed genuinely disappointed when I had mistakenly clocked him as another Stanley.

My partner, Dan, posing with Mr. Roper

At 1 PM the event officially kicked off, the excitement of the Helens palpable in the air. Our event coordinator paid due homage to Suzanne Somers before directing us outside for a group photo. It turns out that herding Helens is not that different than herding cats and, after much corralling and cajoling, we ended up with what would be the first of many group photos.

A herd of Helens posing for a group photo at Little Fish Brewing Company in Dayton, OH (Nov 4, 2023)

At 1:45 PM we moved on to our second stop, the Dayton Beer Company. It was then that I realized there is something magical about a collective of Helen Ropers moving through the streets.

Walking to the next stop, our caftans dancing in the breeze, we simply glowed. We Helens, heads ablaze in red and buoyed by the sheer camp and hilarity of the spectacle we were creating, erupted into constant laughter, song, and smiles. This did not go unnoticed by passing drivers, who slowed, gawked, and honked in appreciation at the sight of 50 Helens and their Stanleys and Ralph exuding such unabashed joy.

As we entered the Dayton Beer Company, and subsequently Warped Wing Brewing, Mudlick Tap House, and Two Social, watching the facial expressions of bar patrons change as their eyes registered just what they were seeing was priceless. For people old enough to know who Mrs. Roper was, it was inevitably an, “Oh wow!” expression followed by a wide, nostalgic smile. From those who were too young to have seen Three’s Company, the look was more quizzical. And at least twice, some of us were misidentified as Ice Spice by passerby youths. I had to google image search who that is, and I can see the resemblance due to the hairstyle.

At 4 PM we crowned Queen Helen and King Stanley, followed by an after party at Right Corner Bar, and an after-after party back at Little Fish with live music from Lemongrass. Our group made it to Little Fish first, and the place was filling up with diners and drinkers who were intrigued by our attire. Two adjacent tables asked what we were doing, but neither had heard of Mrs. Roper. That didn’t stop them from sneaking glances and smiling the whole time were there.

At the end of the day, we got in our cars and drove back home — wig, glasses, earrings, necklace, and caftan stashed in my bag once again. While content from the day, the magical feeling had faded.

“What magic,” I wondered as I drove, the remnants of the last reasonably-late sunset in my rearview mirror, “could there possibly be in a caftan and a wig? Maybe there really was magic in that old silk hat they found.”

To a kid, that magic seems to exist. As adults, we know that we have to create that magic and, as one person, it’s hard to do — if you’re lucky, you have at least one person in your life who can do this. But get a couple dozen friends together, don curly red wigs and colorful caftans, go out on the town, and watch the magic glow in the eyes of everyone who sees you.

You’ll see that life is a ball again, laughter is calling for you… Down at our rendezvous… Three’s Company, too.