THE CHALLENGED | MAY 30 PROMPT | POTATO DAY

I Am a Potato Addict

But I’m not sure that’s bad

Photo by Franco Antonio Giovanella on Unsplash

The Prompt:

May 30, International Day of the Potato. What’s the greatest potato dish ever created, and why are you willing to defend it in court? (Vipul Maurya)

The Response:

“Your Honor, I plead guilty to the charges. I have an addiction to potatoes,” I stated before the Judge.

The crowd gasped. The judge slammed his gavel multiple times, yelling, “Order in the court.”

My attorney jumped up and yelled, “Objection, your honor. My client was coerced into a false confession.”

“Objection overruled, let your client speak.”

I was charged with stealing another man’s French fries.

It was a crime of passion, but nobody could prove it because I had eaten the evidence.

Before the judge passed the case to the jury, I woke up in a cold sweat.

I had been dreaming; it was 3 a.m. My wife was staring at me, “You were having potato dreams again, weren’t you?”

We decided to go back to sleep and talk about it over breakfast.

Breakfast was a plate of cheesy scrambled eggs with a large serving of hash brown potatoes. The potatoes had been perfectly cooked. Crispy on the outside, steamy on the inside, with enough salt and pepper to enhance the flavor.

With a big mug of bold French Roast coffee, my wife broke the ice: “What are you going to do about your potato dreams?”

I thought for a moment and confidently said, “I need to eat more potatoes.”

That’s not what she wanted to hear.

She had been on my case to see a Potato Therapist. I saw no reason to. My potato addiction isn’t bad. It’s not illegal to eat potatoes or drive while consuming French fries. I’ve yet to hear about anybody suffering from a potato overdose.

“Then that’s it. It’s either me or your potato habit,” she proclaimed.

I thought about it for a few seconds. “I won’t give up my potatoes.”

Well, that pissed her off. But I don’t like ultimatums. I had compromised on so many things in our relationship; I wasn’t about to give up my potato habit.

She called me a potato chauvinist and stormed out of the room. Left the house and went to the mall for a little bit of anger shopping. A typical response when she didn’t get her way.

The irony of the situation is that she never questioned me when I smoked cigars with my friends while playing poker till all hours of the morning.

I went on with my day.

When she came home, she had shopped her way through her anger.

I continued with what I was doing. I was cooking dinner. Our meal that night was the greatest potato dish ever created.

Stuffed Baked Potatoes

They are the greatest potato dish because they are easy to make, can be stuffed with anything, and can be twice-baked to add more melt or even a little crunch to the toppings. Plus, they are nutritious and filling, and they make great leftovers if not eaten at once.

I love using extra-large Russet potatoes that weigh around 1.5 pounds. I’ve stuffed them with a variety of fillings, including lobster, diced steak, BBQ, vegetables, and multiple types of cheese. I also top them off with generous portions of butter, sour cream, bacon, and chives.

The potato becomes the meal, no side dishes needed. They became a longtime family favorite.

Even though I enjoy a good baked potato, I’m not one to turn down an order of French fries, Tater Tots, or a bowl of creamy mashed potatoes with southern gravy. A casserole of au gratin or scalloped potatoes can’t be beat. A good potato soup on a cold night is very warming. Potato pancakes, gnocchi, and scraps turned into a stovetop hash are all good. And not to overlook a few potatoes thrown in with a simmering pot roast or a slow-cooking stew, adds a lot. Put a bowl of potato chips on the table, and they will disappear quickly. And most importantly, one of my favorite vodkas, Chopin, is a potato vodka.

Potatoes are versatile, easy to store, plentiful, and, when cooked they are forgiving. I’ve been a fan for as long as I can remember.

The story above is semi-fictional. My wife and I never had a potato argument in the forty-plus years we were together. And potato therapists don’t exist, or so I don’t think they do. If they did, that would be a little creepy.

Now that I’m a widower, I still keep a supply and eat them once or twice a week. The only difference between forty years ago and now is that I’ve got multiple decades of potato memories that linger in my mind. Fortunately, I’ve got other memories that are more important than potatoes.

And what’s a good potato story without a goofy potato song?

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Thanks to Vipul Maurya and the editing team at Medium’s the Challenged publication for this fun and interesting prompt.

© 2026 All rights reserved, LJ Bentch

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