A Gay Man’s¹ Tips’ll Cost You Nothing

An extremely short read that relates to gay people and their friends.

Image author’s own. ©

If you were raised in an authoritarian environment or with narcisstic caregivers, and by result of that you, yourself, have become either a narcissist or echoist, take a little time to think about how you might be able to change that. I say “little time” for thinking. Why? Because the recovery will take much longer. Especially, if you are gay.

♠️

If you do not have a support system, and do not believe in God, ask yourself why with mindfulness. Religion has hurt so many people, f’d up their upbringings, been a tool against them rather than for them. That is understandable, but maybe questionable. To reject God (or by whichever name you know Him/Her/It) is a way of rejecting healing when you need it. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. As Tammy Fay Baker said, “God didn’t make any junk,” when questioned about her stance on gay individuals.

♠️

I love cilantro. It is totally cool if you do not.

♠️

Muslims are people, too. If you are going to cling to some notion taught to you by a megachurch or by community potlucks, admit that you have not read the Bible in its entirety. Don’t worry, you don’t have to admit it to anyone out loud. But at the least familiarize yourself with Matthew 7: 1–3. And Muslims, read your history. Gay men were allowed behind the curtain of the wives.

I am not of Latino or of Spanish origin, but I speak Spanish because I am an American. If you do not, that is totally okay. But do not shun, belittle, or dehumanize those that do. They are just as American, if not more so. Those that are gay in addition, they are going through much more than you can imagine. Help, don’t hurt.

Although a strange notion for people from other nations, especially Europe, it does not hurt nor cost you to smile at someone with whom you lock gaze for a second or two. It might brighten his/her/their day. At the very least, it will slow the civilizational decline to which we are not only headed, but headed at now at an accelerated speed.

♠️ Be a friend to someone with someone with whom you will not destroy that friendship because he/she/they are going through a difficult time. A difficult time with which you want no part or desire in which to help. That’s the point behind the idiomatic expression: fair-weather friend. And that’s just the kinder term for such a person.♠️

♠️ If you still have not realized the absurdly profound atrocities occurring in Palestine due to Israel and its cabal, or even worse, you support it, at least have the decency to hate yourself if not them.♠️

Straight girls! Do not bring your entire sorority sisters into a gay bar and then act as if you own the place. Gay people have very few safe spaces, and growing fewer now due to The Orange. You are a guest at the establishment. Act like one. Though not a Jew, I, too, wear a kippah while attending a service at a synagogue. It’s called respect. I believe Aretha Franklin has a song about it in which she will spell it out for you.

Women, please don’t go running/jogging at night with your earbuds in. Unawareness of your surroundings places you in danger. Just a suggestion from the gay man behind you.

Black Lives Matter is not a pop culture movement. It is the tip of an iceberg (remember The Titanic?) The movement does not want to take away your privilege. It just asks that it be equally available to others. Gay people should understand this.

And before you think of this article belonging to another “bleeding-heart liberal,” remember that almost anyone you look up to (e.g., Buddha, Krishna, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad) were outcasts in their societies. They were not white. And none of them spoke English. The one thing they had in common was trying to uplift the downtrodden.

¹ My article was not accepted, actually rejected, by a gay publication here on Medium. The advice of a gay male perspective to a gay publication was not gay enough (no need to make a fanfare). It was not wordier. I try to keep my articles to minimum. I missed the mark by a little over one hundred words. None of us have much time before “swiping left.” And I was not mainstream enough — a systemic issue in the gay community.

In order to add more words that might not be necessary for you to read, I add this: Many gay men and women have had to deal with being silenced by their very own community. We are faltering. We need to stop doing that to each other.

The technical term for my prior paragraph is called “the economy of language.” It basically means using the least amount of words to convey your point. This is a desirable quality in English writing. Google the term, if you are interested.

Claps (you can do more than one!) and comments are very much appreciated. I cannot continue stories without them.

This could be a work of either untrue nonfiction, true fiction, or most likely, something that lies in between because most truth does.

I respond to any and everyone that comments and/or subscribes. I also want for people to have access to my stories even if financial hardship precludes them from doing so. If you subscribe to my email, shoot me a message about an article that intrigues you but to which you don’t have access due to the paywall. I’m sure we can work something out. :)

Copyright © 2025 by Alex. All rights reserved. No part of this document may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission.

Subscribe at alexcourrier@gmail.com