RIDICULISTS

Remember When Misspelling Was a Vice Presidential Hopeful’s Greatest Sin

You spell potaoe, I spell potato

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1. More storms are in the forecast in Illinois today.
2. The word “Forecast” sounds like “Foreskin”.
3. It’s like foreskin with a cast — briss gone wrong. Bad briss bad briss whatcha gonna do?
4. Governor Pritzker says, “Be careful out there today. Tornadoes”. That reminds me of potatoes.
5. What if the Governor warned us, “Be careful out there because of impending potatoes”?
6. Ask Dan Quayle.
7. In case you don’t know who Dan Quayle is, he was the 1992 running mate on the Republican ticket alongside incumbent President George H.W. Bush.
8. Dan Quayle became infamous for not knowing how to spell potato.
9. How Quayle spelled potato (potatoe) was why we had Bill Clinton and Bill Gore as President and Vice President.
10. Personally, as a bad speller myself, the public shaming about Dan Quayle’s misspelling of " potato” terrified me.
11. I spell badly, too, and I have boobs! So, there are two strikes against my being Prez or Vice Prez.
12. I think Dan Quayle misspelled potato because his own name is spelled wrong. In my opinion, Quayle should be spelled Quail, not Quayle, but nobody asked me.
13. Do you think Dan Quayle ever mispelled his name as Dan Quail?
14. Ever since Dan Quayle spelled potato wrong, I hate writing the word potato. Also, the word diarrhea. I never spell diarrhea right. I wait for autocorrect to correct me. I type out a collection of the right diarrhea letters and hope for the best.
15. Today, Governor JB Pritzker told Illinoisans to watch out for tornadoes.
16. I hate the spelling of Illinoisans. When I was little, I spelled Mississippi, Mississsipppi, because it sounded better.
17. How do you watch out for a tornado anyway, JB Pritzker?
18. By the time I see a tornado, isn’t it already too late?
19. The Illinois tree-cleaner-uppers haven’t finished cleaning up all the uprooted trees from the last time the tornadoes were in town.
20. Do you think the tornadoes pulled up any potatoes? That seems like it should happen.
21. Do you think Dan Quayle still dreams of spelling the word potato? Do you think he wakes up in a sweat and yells P-O-T-A-T-O-E?
22. Can you believe misspelling a word was once enough to make you unqualified to be Vice President?

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