www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/linda-katz-hiding-behind-tumbleweed-bush-re-woman-who-news-photo/50377082?adppopup=true

No More Hiding

It’s funny how we can go on social media and watch a star fall and become shocked how different they are behind the scenes yet we can make love to our partners and in our minds imagine making love with someone else and pretend we’re good or that we’re okay We follow accounts and pages where the main purpose of it is to make fun of and tear down other people and act surprised when the same happens to us or that all too familiar statement pops up: “What’s wrong with people nowadays?” What’s wrong is YOU It’s you, it’s me, it’s everyone, and it’s the years and years of bullshit we hold within us that blocks us from really being who we are and having a good impact It’s the stupid shit we believe, the familial teachings we don’t question, and the cultural or societal norms we accept at face value The person in the mirror is the one solely responsible for all the suffering in the world

But yet we hide We run We fight for things, places, jobs, people, and feelings that’s ran their course We fight everyday so we don’t have to take the opportunity to look in the mirror or if there ever is time to do so we become “busy” We love being busy We love being avoidant, productive, dissociated, and stuck in nostalgia past while life slips by Some of us are just wasted souls still live, like the dead that’s not dead Others have zombie souls, waiting for something to come in and shake their world up It’s like we look for help in all the wrong places

We ask the wrong people for advice and the wrong ones are the ones we usually listen to We don’t know what true love is and accept scraps instead of a buffet When opportunities come we allow the light and power of that opportunity to shine a light on our insecurities, shame, and brokenness We don’t take the chance We don’t take a risk We play safe until we finally release control on our death bed, when it’s all too late to make a real change It’s like that from time to time where our internal landscape really gets tested and now we’re at our breaking points All this complexity though, we hide it Some of us take pride in our “positive” thinking and avoid facing real problems that once resolved can set you free

There’s so much shame when it comes to being authentic, honest, integral, and real because there’s a lot of false assumptions on what that might look like People assume being authentic, for example, means you can be rude to everyone 24/7 and not give a shit about how others feel (basically being an asshole) but on the contrary, we’re all not like that If you were really yourself you wouldn’t feel the need to be loud all the time, to prove a point to someone, to be someones doormat, to allow disrespect all the time (sometimes people will say whatever to you regardless), to prove something to anyone, to look pretty all the time, to be perfect in all ways (look, walks, talks, mannerisms) 24/7 365 The truth is there’d be no effort to do or be anything other thannnn………….YOURSELF! And that’s what’s scary, hard to understand, and to live out in a real way Let’s say for your career you got into the medical field

You didn’t really want to do that with your life but you felt the pressure to gain approval from your parents since if you weren’t accomplishing anything then you would be seen as a failure Maybe you didn’t have the best grades growing up, not really motivated, or if you were maybe you were struggling with other issues at the time I know my middle and high school grades were crap and that’s because I was trying to survive sexual abuse along with my uncles alcoholism, verbal abuse, and my mothers codependency, victim-hood, and emotional manipulation and control None of these problems were my burdens to carry but as a kid there’s a false belief that you can help or fix people in a way You can help people but ultimately others have to want to do, be, and feel better themselves So when it came to my coursework my mind was elsewhere and when I did want to learn or know something, it was something school wasn’t teaching me so I’d end up going on “research binges” and learn things on my own If this person continued their medical career, they’d soon reach a point of depression

They have external validation, resources, and societies approval of being a good person because of how being a doctor is perceived, but yet in the pit of your stomach you know somethings off You’re not quite sure what it is, but something isn’t right And you’re right, it isn’t It’s your real nature crawling out from under you and CRAVING to be expressed, felt, heard, and understood with the very least wanting to be seen Now you might ask, “If it’s this simple then why can’t everyone be themselves?” It’s the amount of career changes, behavior changes, physical changes, and most crucially the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS and ATTACHMENTS TO OTHERS! This is the number one block from most people changing or being themselves because living a lie and on the surface comes with it’s own benefits You don’t have to look at the “negatives” in life and instead “positive think” your way (really avoid) around these problems, you don’t need to put in any extra effort other than what’s needed in order to feel comfortable, you don’t have to take responsibility over your life AND THAT’S A MAJOR PLUS!!!

I’m just being facetious here, but there is a lot of ways we fall into hiding We deny the things we need the very most in life: understanding, truth, compassion, authenticity, safety, protection, freedom, good people and places for us, pacing, and ultimately love