I Am Not A Writer

Can’t do this anymore

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

I’ve learnt it the hard way, but in a way that is going to stay with me forever.

Once upon a time, when I didn’t know better, I used to introduce myself as a ‘Chartered Accountant’ to anyone I met.

A few years later, when working as a Chartered Accountant no longer felt as fulfilling as before, I was unable to quit my job for a long time.

Why?

I didn’t know who I was beyond what I did. All I thought I knew how to do was to be a Chartered Accountant.

When I scarily quit my job anyway because the restlessness literally pushed me to, I had to break down who I thought I was and start over.

Even venturing into writing felt scary at first.

One night, I had a sudden thought: What if I don’t make it as a writer?

That thought scared me silly.

It broke the new identity I had unknowingly begun to form for myself again.

After a lot of contemplation and not wanting to scare myself again, I came to this conclusion — I am not what I do.

I am much beyond it.

What I do is an important part of me, sure. But I don’t wish to attach myself to it in a way that would make me lose my identity when that thing goes away.

I want to be adaptable to take on new things as and when life urges me to.

So, now I no longer call myself a writer. I am someone who likes to write; maybe tomorrow that may change. And for once in my life, I am okay with that.