What the Garden Taught Me About Letting Go

On surrender, uncertainty, and choosing love when nothing grows the way you planned

There was a moment this past year when I realised just how little control I truly have and how much peace lives on the other side of accepting that.

It didn’t come all at once. It came slowly, like a season turning.

It showed up in the garden first.

I remember standing there, hands in the soil, after weeks of doing everything “right.” The seeds were good. The timing was right. The weather, at least on paper, should have cooperated. But still, some things didn’t grow. Others came up weak, fragile, or not at all. And there was nothing left to do.

That’s when it hit me… this uncomfortable truth:

You can nurture, prepare, and care deeply… and still not be in control of the outcome.

And if you live close to the land, you learn this lesson again and again.

The bees don’t always thrive just because you’ve done your part. The weather doesn’t bend to your plans. The body doesn’t always heal on your timeline. Life doesn’t always unfold the way you imagined it would.

There’s a moment, many moments, actually… where you’re left standing in the unknown.

And you have a choice.

Not about what happens next.

But about how you meet it.

The Illusion of Control

We’re taught, in so many subtle ways, that if we just try hard enough, plan carefully enough, or think positively enough, we can shape life into something predictable.

But real life doesn’t work that way.

It’s wild. Unruly. Mysterious.

And sometimes, it breaks your expectations wide open.

I’ve had seasons where things didn’t go the way I hoped.. where plans fell apart, where the future I thought I was building shifted beneath my feet. And in those moments, fear showed up quickly.

Fear always does.

It whispers questions like:

What if this never works out? What if everything changes? What if I lose something I can’t replace?

And if you let it, fear will try to take over the whole story.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand:

Fear isn’t the problem.

Believing that fear is the only voice, that’s where we get lost.

What We Actually Get to Choose

There’s a surprising kind of freedom in realizing that control is limited.

Because when you stop trying to control everything outside of you, you start to notice what is still yours.

Your response.

Your perspective.

Your way of being in the middle of uncertainty.

I’ve had to come back to this again and again, especially in the harder seasons.

When things feel uncertain, when outcomes aren’t guaranteed, when life feels like it’s unfolding in ways I didn’t choose… I remind myself:

I still get to choose how I show up here.

And for me, it comes down to two paths.

I can close down, protect, brace, and move through life from fear.

Or

I can stay open.

Not naive. Not pretending everything is okay.

But open.

Choosing Love Isn’t Soft , It’s Brave

Choosing love in uncertain moments isn’t some soft, poetic idea.

It’s work.

It’s choosing to trust when you don’t have answers. It’s choosing to stay present instead of spiraling into “what ifs.” It’s choosing to keep your heart open even when it would be easier to shut it down.

There have been moments where it would have made perfect sense to harden a little. To protect myself. To expect less from life.

But every time I’ve gone down that road, something in me feels smaller.

And every time I choose to stay open, to love anyway, to trust anyway, to be here fully anyway… I feel something expand.

Even if it hurts.

Especially if it hurts.

Life Is Not a Guarantee, It’s an Experience

Living this way has shifted something fundamental in me.

I don’t see life as something I need to control anymore.

I see it as something I get to experience.

The beauty and the grief. The growth and the loss. The moments that bloom and the ones that fall apart.

All of it.

Because the truth is, this moment, right here, isn’t coming back.

Not the way the light hits your kitchen table in the morning. Not the sound of the wind moving through the trees. Not the exact version of you that exists today.

It’s all passing.

And that could feel terrifying…

Or it could feel incredibly precious.

So What Do You Choose?

When you strip everything else away, plans, expectations, control, there’s still one thing that remains.

Choice.

Not over outcomes.

But over how you meet them.

So now, when I find myself standing in uncertainty, I come back to something simple:

I choose to trust life, even when I don’t understand it. I choose to stay open, even when it would be easier to close. I choose to love this moment, even knowing it won’t last.

Not because it guarantees anything.

But because it changes everything about how I live.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:

You may not get to control the way your life unfolds…

But you do get to choose the energy you bring to it.

And that choice — quiet as it is — is powerful beyond measure.

© 2026 Laurel Abell — All rights reserved.

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