My View on Science

Photo by Ousa Chea on Unsplash

I used to be quite open toward science. But I was also a workaholic. In a way, I “escaped into work” for the sake of my child and my family. I always tried to do my IT work as well as possible, even when it was stressful. Eventually, the burnout came.

I couldn’t turn to the church, so I went to a psychologist. What I still hold against him today is that he recommended Ritalin instead of offering more talk therapy. Looking back, I think a rehabilitation program would have helped me more.

Later I became manic, many things went wrong, and then came the psychosis. I don’t blame anyone for the fact that I was restrained in the clinic — I was simply too confused. But I was treated very harshly at times, and I still remember that. I was confronted for things I had no control over. I still don’t know if that’s supposed to be part of a “therapeutic path.”

At the same time, I’ve learned a lot from the psychoses themselves. They have made me more stable in certain ways. I don’t reject medication — I take whatever helps me stay stable.

Still, I view many scientific projects with a certain ambivalence. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, not at all. But with topics like gender transition, for example, I feel more distant. Even though, because of my daughter’s kidney disease, I depend on science.

Maybe this is an old mindset in me: I tend to accept things only when I feel they are well‑established and routine. Like the bariatric surgery I now have to consider because of my grade‑3 obesity.

And somehow, I still hold on to the church. It’s still in my mind. I judge many global projects more critically — not because I want to condemn them, but because I often can’t see the benefit. I know many people see it differently.

I do try to think progressively. But when you remove the church, you “end up in the wild again” — that’s a thought I often have. Or you end up in other theologies.

In the end, I think it’s like this: As an IT professional, I’m part of science myself. I know its light and shadow sides. That makes my opinion more nuanced. You can see all of this very pessimistically, of course.

Even ChatGPT warns me not to become too resigned. But I’m someone who naturally calls for more slowness. That’s my inner attitude — shaped by burnout. Not everything has to be done “at all costs.” That’s just my personal view.