How many people truly connect with you? I bet it’s less than it used to be.

Photo by Le Tran Hoang Oanh on Unsplash

Something I’ve always been aware of, but to me it feels like life’s getting more and more lonely. How many people do you interact with that it actually feels like they “get” you?

I travel a lot, and I find that it’s the only time that I can have conversations with people who actually listen & talk freely. That could be for many reasons, for example many travellers are stuck without their usual distractions, eg mobile phones, interruptions, work etc etc. Then when you arrive at your destination, the cultures are often different to ours (UK), and many countries have much stronger social interactions compared to our own. Mobile phones have certainly made things much less personal in terms of face to face meetings, many use their phone while chatting, or as a distraction to their boredom, sometimes even with the conversation ongoing. Seriously this is a thing now & for someone who grew up without anything but a TV & telephone, true social interaction is in decline. Online social lives this is the opposite, but you have to use your phone or computer to do this. Therefore here is the dilemma. The internet has made our lives so much more autonomous and instant. But in exchange we are fast losing our in-person social lives in many cases. Of course there are different family structures, some of which manage to continue the “old fashioned” way their family interacts with each other. However, day to day social time appears to be more & more transactional, and the number of fake smiles & comments I receive when I’m travelling in my job (back home) confirms my suspicions. I genuinely miss the time I can buy a coffee & have a quick chat with someone who actually likes to talk without detectable pretence.

With this in mind, I decided to alter my mundane travel stops at the usual service areas where luke warm watery coffee flavoured milk is served without passion. I ventured off the beaten path, & did a little research to find the best coffee shops on my maps app (internet saves the day ironically), and add those to my route when I have jobs that require a rest stop & some caffeine.

I have found that this was slightly life changing, and I’ve actually got to meet some great people with awesome personalities as a result. It even allowed me to gain some new work & new clients. Social bonding is still important to me, but I feel that it’s getting harder & harder to maintain.

If I was someone who doesn’t have that opportunity of visiting coffee shops, then the only other place I think I could find some proper social (not romantic) friendships would be some sort of hobby club or sports club. Hobby sounds antiquitated but it’s still probably the place you’ll meet like minded people that have more time to talk with you about subjects that are mutually interesting.

This is just the tip of the iceberg….please feel free to comment with your opinions.

Thanks for reading!