What intimacy smells like

One of our senses seems to rule over the others when it comes to appealing to our emotional being: smell. The amygdala is one of the brain regions most strongly associated with emotional processing. Located nearby is the olfactory nerve, making it no secret that smells have a remarkable influence on our emotional world. Roses, chocolates, and perfumes may be the first things that come to mind as triggers of positive emotions in our romantic endeavors.

However, on the other end of the smelling spectrum, no wonder why few things can be as emotional as letting out a fart with the wrong person. Beyond the unpleasant smell itself, we anticipate merciless judgment and expressions of disgust from close enough to those around us. Embarrassment, shame, and self-repulsion might arise when we find ourselves at the center of such a moment.

There are few things as intimate as our digestive functions. Throughout the day, we are constantly aware of our intestines, our digestion, hearing the occasional stomach growl, or noticing the subtle activation of our sphincters. Despite all of these being ordinary aspects of our nature, they are the ones we often try hardest to conceal from others.

Photo by Copycat Fragrances on Unsplash

We may introduce someone to our parents, confess our deepest secrets, fears, and even engage in oral sex long before we fart in front of someone. It takes a different kind of courage to expose ourselves without any filter and be as authentic as a fart.

Perhaps only to ourselves do we admit that farting is something we comfortably share only in private, and eventually with a select few. Being able to expose that hidden part of ourselves becomes a quiet sign of closeness. We might feel truly connected to someone when we no longer feel we have to hide such an aspect of us.

A possible explanation for why we do not fart around just anyone may be similar to why we do not become emotionally intimate with just anyone. Our bodily functions might prove unfamiliar — and perhaps as unsettling — to others as our anxieties, fears, and darkest imperfections. We fear they may provoke the same judgment and rejection if shared wrongly.

Perhaps that is one quiet mark of genuine love: allowing those closest to us to remain, embrace, and even laugh with us in our most ridicule and revolting aspects of our humanity. We often find beauty in the most outlooked places, and we might find some peace in recognizing that trough something as trivial as a fart can we might find — surprisingly — a profound expression of intimacy.