Caring about class? That’s so common actually.

Boris Johnson and Cameron were part of the infamous Bullingdon Club at Oxford.

The number one etiquette rule, as told by my exceptionally polite grandmother is that “you are roman in Rome”. Basically, you follow the same rules of politeness as the person in front of you. No matter how wrong they are. This all stems from the fact that the biggest offense in polite society, would be to make your guests, or host, uncomfortable.

Well, I admit there are some drawbacks to this rule. This grandmother of mine once had (very rude) guests over for dinner that brought suitcases with them and, when asked why, answered that they decided to invite themselves to sleep over. My grandmother was, of course, a bit taken aback. But, out of politeness, said it was perfectly fine. Those very same guests actually stayed for two weeks, broke skis in the family’s chalet, and then threatened to take legal action because they “could have gotten hurt”.

Never in that stay, had she made a comment about their rude manners, or how they were actively ruining her holidays. How impolite would that be!

In today’s Britain, where some people cannot afford to turn the heating on, imagine being so insensitive as to call them “povos”! Yes, I understand, I too was a pretentious arrogant little kid that went to boarding school, is from a family that is aristocratic and all the blala. I too, once thought it was extremely funny to pretend to be better than everyone else because I was born better off. Well, let’s say that I then matured a bit.

If you actually care about social class and you are a toff, just talk about what you have in common with your interlocutor. Also, even if you think you are in a safe space and that the person in front of you too is a positively rich toff with a gazillion hectares of land, avoid flexing your yacht trip across the mediteranean. While he may be too polite to say anything, a true toff will be thinking “what a poor lack of taste, how tacky! All that wasted money, and I still can’t afford to repair my leaky roof”!

But, as my friend Polly that studies at Exeter says “all of those that keep talking about social class… They’re actually the broke ones”. And I get it, around 30% of Exeter students went to private school! Around people with a lot of money, some less well off people must feel insecure and feel the need to openly judge people on their social class to feel relevant.

I mean, except for the impossibly rude, and frankly, disgusting, Prince Andrew, tell me when was the last time you’ve seen a royal say “rah anything outside the royal enclosure at Ascot is so chavy, Minty and I would rather die than stand next to those plebs”. Yeah, never probably.

To sum this up, please never ever discriminate based on class. If you absolutely must, do it silently. Truth is, nobody should care if you dress a bit tacky, or if you drink prosecco instead of champagne in a picnic! People should only openly discuss two things… Whether you have a good personality, and whether you are likely to murder them. That’s it.