LIFE AT A CROSSROADS

The Path I Never Wanted

Credit: Pixabay

I have been working in the corporate world for over 6 years now.

I have always been transparent and honest about my work, whether it’s with my colleagues or my clients.

I agree where I need to, and I disagree where I should.

I don’t mind working overtime because I love what I do.

But I have always faced some sort of problems in my professional journey.

I always think, Am I doing something wrong?

Or is the path I have chosen not good enough for the corporate culture?

And…

This has led to the rise of self-doubt within me.

I have started to think that I am not a perfect fit for this corporate culture.

But then it occurs to me that not every organization is the same, right?

Even after that, some sort of problems still arise.

And now…I am stuck in a loop. A loop that I don’t know will end anytime soon.

But why? Why is all of this happening?

Shouldn’t I be transparent with my teammates and clients?

Shouldn’t I stay honest with everyone?

Shouldn’t I work smartly along with dedication and sincerity?

Or still, that’s not enough?

Still, am I missing something that needs to be done?

I usually ask myself:

There must be something wrong with me if I have to face this infinite loop that I seem to be stuck in.

Yeah, there are some things that I don’t want to do.

Like…

Doing something for my own gain that puts others at risk.

Losing my values and ethics

Spending all my time with higher authorities while pretending to be someone I am not.

Always saying yes to everyone, even when I don’t want to.

Facing injustice just for the sake of getting a monthly salary.

But isn’t this how it’s supposed to be?

Is there something wrong with the way I am working?

Or do I have to change my path? Because this ain’t working anymore.

The Current Situation

My current situation is so difficult that I can’t afford to quit another workplace because of the responsibilities I have.

But the question remains:

Should I let go of my true self, the very reason I love who I am?

Should I change my path and become someone that even I can’t recognize?

Should I just bootlick the higher authorities to be able to stay in one place and have a stable job?

Should I get myself involved in workplace politics just to fulfill my household responsibilities?

Is this really how it’s supposed to be now?

But then…

I need a stable salary for my household.

But does that mean I have to lose myself just to survive?

Do I have to choose the path I never wanted?

I really don’t know!