Can We Just Focus on the Meat?

Can We Just Focus on the Meat? Why Every Festive Gathering Feels Like an Interview Session 😂 “I came for rice and meat. Somehow I left with questions about marriage, Nysc, and my entire future”

POV: It’s Eid

There should be a microphone at the entrance of family gatherings because apparently I came prepared for Eid, but everybody else came prepared for an interview panel. I walked in expecting rice, meat, laughter and "Eid Mubarak." Instead, I entered an environment where my future was under review. If one auntie is not asking about marriage, another one is asking about NYSC. "So... any man?" "Ahan, when are we coming to dance at your wedding?" "Have they posted you for NYSC?" "What are your plans now?" Excuse me ma, is this Eid or a job interview? Can we just focus on the meat first? 😂 And Yoruba aunties especially know how to ask questions with confidence. "Ìgbà wo lẹ máa mú àwọn brother yẹn wá bá wa?" (When are you bringing those brothers to us?) Brothers? Plural? 😂 Aunty, first of all,tell me to close my open mouth because I don’t even understand the question. Which brothers exactly? And why does everybody suddenly believe I am hiding a human being somewhere? Why can’t you simply say "Gba owó ọdún." (Take festive money.) See a language I understand immediately 🥹 The funniest thing is that these questions don’t even come one by one. You escape from Auntie A in the sitting room. You enter the kitchen to collect food in peace. Then Uncle B appears. "Aminat, what about NYSC now?" You survive that one and think you’re safe. Suddenly another voice from somewhere "So after NYSC, what next?" Ma, I am currently planning how to collect another piece of meat. Please allow me complete one mission before opening another mission 😂 And before anybody says they are asking out of love, I know many of them genuinely care. Family members naturally want to know how you’re doing. Sometimes those questions come from excitement and concern. But during festive periods, it feels like everybody suddenly becomes a life auditor. You’re smiling outside, but inside you’re thinking: "Can I answer honestly?" "Can I laugh this off?" "Can I disappear into thin air permanently?" Maybe that is also part of family gatherings. The food. The noise. The prayers. The random interviews. The aunties that somehow know how to ask serious questions at the exact moment you’re chewing meat and enjoying your Eid in Peace. But I genuinely want to know Is this only a Yoruba auntie thing, or do aunties from other tribes also becomes a relationship investigator that conduct festive season interviews? 😂 Because I need answers. For now, abeg pass the meat.

Aunty, please let me finish this meat first😌