You’ll Never Forget Me

He never could resist a problem

Photo by Riccardo Pelati on Unsplash

“If Rob Hart hadn’t dared me, I wouldn’t have done it. He always used to say: do what you want but don’t get caught. If he wasn’t in prison, he’d be here at my launch party.” Ginny giggled and drained her glass. She signaled for more champagne.

“Rob Hart? How is he connected with your product launch?” Amory’s journalist heart stopped. Buried in Ginny’s blather was an incredible story.

“He’s not. Robbie never had anything to do with my company.” Ginny waved to a fresh wave of well-dressed influencers. They exclaimed admiration for YOU ONLY BETTER’s brand new office suite and headed straight for free product.

“Tell me more. You’re friends with Robert Hart, the genius innovator?” Amory watched Ginny’s eyes darken.

“Ages ago. Years before I came up with my big idea. By myself. YOU ONLY BETTER is entirely my creation.” Ginny’s eyes shone huge, dark pools of lying.

“I heard a story about Hart balancing a race car on top of Mansfield Hall….” Amory’s pen hovered as if she didn’t remember every genius detail.

“That’s when he was an engineering major.” Ginny swung gleaming, blown-out perfection over her shoulder.

“And he hacked into Admissions…blew up the Chemistry lab…impersonated a Latin professor for an entire semester…developed the ultimate football helmet…” Amory bit her lip and lowered her voice. Scanning the room, she murmured, “There’s lots more we don’t know about, right?”

Ginny blanched. “Not that I can talk about. I mean there have got to be others. Robbie never could resist an interesting problem. So, what else can I tell you about YOU ONLY BETTER?”

“Nothing. Your press kit is extremely thorough. Are you and Rob still close?”

“Have you tried the BODACIOUS BABE gel?” Ginny waved for a model to join them.

“My makeup artist would kill me if anyone else touched my face. So, were you and Rob lovers?”

“BODACIOUS BABE gel isn’t for your face!” Ginny waved at the model’s Barbie doll proportions. “It’s a full-body miracle!”

“If you like that kind of thing,” said Amory. “How did Rob get you into the medical spa business?”

“He didn’t. This is my idea,” said Ginny. “Excuse me, I see someone who’s dying to toast my success.”

BODACIOUS BLUNDER BLOWS UP BODACIOUS BABE by Amory Scott for the DAILY OBSERVER

Irrepressible genius and prankster Robert Hart stunned partygoers the other night at the glittery launch of YOU ONLY BETTER medical spa. From an undisclosed maximum security prison, Hart managed to simulate a bone-shaking earthquake followed by a tsunami. Fleeing the building, the once-beautiful people ran through a convincing minefield while fireworks blazed overhead.

While no one was killed in the melee, emergency personnel report one hundred individuals were airlifted to MEMORIAL GENERAL HOSPITAL. Another twenty-five remain in the hospital for remediation of extreme injuries incurred by unproven and unapproved cosmetic treatments. Among those suffering horrific deformities are models Gillian, Melody, and Casey who have filed multiple suits against YOU ONLY BETTER medical spa and owner Amory Winston.

Founder of now-defunct YOU ONLY BETTER Amory Winston did not respond to requests for comment. Winston now resides at LAST RESORT PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTE. Sources confirm she is enjoying the ultra-luxurious padded accommodations.