Women of a Certain Age Don’t Have to Worry About Going to Hell; Menopause Means You Are Already There!

How long can this go on?

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash

Ladies! Are you going through menopause? If you are, then you have my sympathies.

During my last visit with my favorite nurse practitioner, we switched places, and I found myself giving her advice about her menopause symptoms. Bless her heart; she’s a lot younger than me, and she’s got years of this hell in front of her.

For me, it’s been 13 years!

The beginning years were rough. My kids remember not so fondly of me shouting to my husband from the bedroom where I was desperately trying to go to sleep:

“Turn the air down.”

“Turn the air up.”

Rinse and repeat every single night for at least a year.

Sometimes my husband would be slow to turn the dial down, and I would get out of bed and stomp down the hall to do it myself. I would bare my teeth to him and go back to bed.

That was when we switched to separate covers. He sleeps with a huge comforter, and I sleep with a light blanket that stays tangled down at my feet.

Menopause symptoms don’t just affect the afflicted. I worked in an elementary school library, and one man in particular would come in and immediately complain about how cold it was. I would snap at him and tell him to put on a jacket if he didn’t like it. Surprisingly, he and I became good friends.

My boss often got on to me about the temperature in the library until she went through menopause herself. Then she said not a word.

Funny how perspectives change.

But my first ever hot flash will forever remain burned in my mind. I was still teaching middle school when I had my first hot flash. I thought I was dying. It felt like I was on fire inside my body. I was sure that if I looked in a mirror, flames would be coming out of my ears.

I remember thinking that it was only a few minutes until a break came and I could hold on until then. When the bell rang, I headed to my storage closet to lie down. Unfortunately, it was full of junk, so my entire body didn’t fit.

One student followed me in just to talk. He didn’t even stop when I went down to the floor. Another student got scared and went and got the nearest teacher.

The music teacher was new, and we didn’t know each other very well. Since I had my eyes closed, I didn’t see her come in, but suddenly someone was tapping me on the shoulder and asking, “Are you ok?”

I opened my eyes and was startled by her concerned face, which was inches away.

If you recall your first aid training, tapping someone on the shoulder was step one of helping someone in distress.

She was surprised when I started laughing, and once I explained, we both sat on the floor laughing until we both cried. She told me all she could see was my feet sticking out of the storeroom, and she thought the worst.

We became friends after that because she knew how I felt.

Eventually, the symptoms went away.

Thank goodness…

Hot flashes became a happy memory, but the side effects are still here. Take all of my weight gain, for instance. I exercise two hours a day, and even though I’ve firmed up, I can’t lose any weight.

I can’t remember crap. Words do not come to me. I worry about having dementia every day. Mood changes abound, and don’t dare talk to my husband about those! And there are other physical changes that happen to a woman’s body.

I never thought I would be my age and get a sex talk from a nurse half my age at the doctor’s office.

Still, anything is better than having an internal heater!

But wait! Guess what! The symptoms have come back! Nobody told me they can come back!

It’s just not fair.

The last time I went to my hair stylist, heat was coming off my scalp. She said she could feel it six inches from my head.

After just a few minutes of trying to pick up around the house, I have to go lie down under the ceiling fan in my bedroom. I haven’t worn a jacket for years, not even during winter. I wear sandals year-round in the house. I put on regular shoes when cooler weather comes just for looks.

Menopause changes your hair, your skin, and your ability to lose weight. It affects your mood. Now I understand why there are so many crabby old women in the world!

Sometimes I am one of them!

My favorite cat is a twenty-pounder. He doesn’t understand why I don’t want him to lie on me. His hair is so hot, I might as well be wearing a mink coat when he sleeps on me.

Sometimes, it just too much to think about.

According to an article from the Mayo Clinic, things can get worse after menopause. That’s when women are in danger from heart and blood vessel disease, osteoporosis, loss of bladder control, sex problems, and more weight gain!

Yay!

Still, we women have no choice but to grin and bear it. So, ladies, if you are having any issues with menopause, please go to your doctor and get some help.

You’ll be glad you did.