Our “Dysfunctional” Family

Not as fucked up as others

A rare photo of me with my six children… the first time together since 2010… Dec 2018

I have no idea into what category our family fits. Keeley has written a memoir of our family (unpublished), where she calls us dysfunctional. Not normal. Lately, more and more, I’m seeing many families behind closed doors being more dysfunctional than ours. Many Medium writers come from weirdly dysfunctional families: maybe that’s why they become such good writers.

I’m the lynchpin of my family: not a very good one, I must admit. You’d think my kids would be closer than they are: bonded against the common enemy, but they’re not. They all go through periods of not speaking to one or the other of them. The relationship that makes me the saddest is the non-relationship between Liam and his nephews. Keeley has banned him from her house. One day, he called in to check out my new cabin, and Keeley hit the roof when she found out. She wasn’t even home. Carl happened to arrive just as Liam was leaving.

She was happy for him to clean our car once a month, but once it became too much for him, my monthly visits stopped. That’s my fault. At least he remembered to call me for Mother’s Day. He turned 52 the day after, so naturally, I called him for his birthday. Blair, the eldest, has always got on well with Keeley, the youngest, until she had children. He used to always stay with her every time he visited from Townsville. He and Carl hit it off, too, which was lovely. Blair has mental health problems, and the babies were too much for him to tolerate.

He doesn’t speak to his sister, Stacey, at all. They’ve never got on even as children. He thinks he’s the Golden Child, and Stacey doesn’t accept that. Stacey would love to have a united family, but her personality stands in the way. She has a way of telling people what they should do, which her brothers and sisters (and me) find annoying. Liam doesn’t like Stacey at all either, but has nothing to do with her except when they get together at my place for a special occasion like Liam’s 50th birthday. Tiernan was only a month old, so Keeley was occupied nursing him.

Lexi ordered pizzas from her favourite pizza joint, and Liam said he liked Domino’s better. I also spent almost $60 on a fancy cake from The Cheesecake Shop, which he didn’t like either. And he’s outspoken when he doesn’t like something. A personality flaw, I suspect. He’s spent many years in jail, so you’d think he’d be grateful, but he learned to cook in jail, and he’s a fantastic chef.

Keeley went through a stage of not speaking to Rowan because he ate “dog” in North Korea. They were so close when they were kids. She and Carl travelled to China in 2018 and met up with Rowan, so they’ve been more friendly since then. I tell you. I’m pulled betwixt and between.

Lexi is taking me to the movies this weekend, and Stacey is taking me to Michael the Musical next weekend. I’m going to a kids’ party with Keeley and the boys on Saturday, and meeting Jerv and Fabien whenever they arrive.

Blair has no plans to visit, but now that my cabin is finished, he could probably visit and sleep down there away from the bustle of the boys. Rowan and his wife Maria are planning to visit in late October when Keeley’s Uni semester finishes, but they’ll stay in a hotel and rent a car.

So now, my immediate family with whom I live is Keeley and my two grandsons. Keeley and I are best friends, but we have different ideas on child-rearing. I usually say nothing, but I say a lot about her spending habits. She doesn’t seem to realise we are poor, and she can’t be buying a toy for the boys every time she goes to the shop. Or ordering stuff on Amazon that we don’t need.

My eldest son lives in Townsville, my second son lives in the next suburb, my youngest son lives in Abu Dhabi, and he or his wife calls frequently to check on my health. Stacey, my eldest daughter, lives on the other side of the city, and Lexi lives a few minutes’ drive away. Lately, Lexi and Keeley have developed a much closer relationship, mostly on the phone.

They are all my children from two different fathers. I don’t speak to either one of them. The first has never remarried or even had another girlfriend. It seems I was enough to turn him off women for life. The second went the opposite way: he had more girlfiends than Jeffrey Epstein (I can’t think of anyone else) and eventually married a lovely Vietnamese lady who was much older than him. Like I was. He definitely needs a mother. His own mother threw him out when he was 12. I forgave him a lot because of the shit life he had growing up.

Thank you for reading about my family, such as it is. Wouldn’t it be lovely to have a family like Rodrigo S-C’s?

[embed]Family Ties From small to largemedium.com

May 15: International Day of Families. Do you live in a nuclear family or a joint family? What is your ideal family setup? Do you prefer family close by, or do you value your individuality and distance? (Anu maheshwari)

January, 2026 4 of the 6 plus two grandsons. Two eldest sons missing. Impromptu photo — I’m still in my nightie. Rowan home for a quick visit

[embed]It’s A Magical May Spring has sprung for you Northerners, and the days have cooled for us Southernersmedium.com