**A Political Farce in Three Seditious Acts***

Photo by Matt Busse on Unsplash

How does one farcify history that already meets the definition? It’s no small task.

My brother Rob is a brilliant author of dark fiction. I asked him how one might undertake to write a coherent narrative about this administration’s absurdity. He suggested no movie production company, theater group, or publisher would consider investing in a story resembling current events unless presented as a farce. That’s not much of a stretch. I have seen several opinion writers compare current events to the movie Idiocracy. In comedic literary or dramatic work, farce typically includes exaggerated characters, humor, misunderstandings, and highly improbable, chaotic plots. “The action often portrays ludicrous scenarios . . . frequently employs dramatic irony, where the audience is fully aware of the hidden truths, mistakes or missed connections but the characters themselves are not.”

This is a work in progress. Acts Two and Three are in their gestational stages as is the unifying theme. If nothing else, this is for my own entertainment. But the material is limitless.

ACT ONE

Scene One: Using the Country’s 250-Year Independence from Monarchic Rule to Celebrate Himself

From a distance the camera zooms in on the White House South Lawn’s monstrosity that resembles an alien from War of the Worlds, pans over to the UFC fighter weigh-ins underway at the Lincoln Memorial with the U.S. Military’s highest ceremonial formation, then turns back to the cage stage where dirt bikes doing pre-fight backflips over the arena silhouette against the White House.

Concession stands on the White House lawn sell prison-recipe moonshine from portable stills ably operated by pardoned Proud Boy Jan. 6 seditionists. In the set up, the Secret Service has placed gold-plated “Presidential Trump Dumps,” emblem and all, conveniently and strategically so no one cannot see his name in bold caps from any location. It’s an accommodation for rowdy fight fans who have had a little too much Natty Light, PBR, and Lone Star.

The camera then pans to a demolition derby at the Jefferson Memorial featuring self-destructing Cybertrucks awaiting the gun start and a tractor pull at Arlington National Cemetery.

Fast forward to late in the day, June 14. Cage fighters dressed only in fight trunks warm up in the same Oval Office Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy disgraced by not wearing a suit.

Cage-side, Trump sleeps soundly during the fights.

This all happens days before Trump proudly announces his unconditional surrender to Iran and algae overtakes the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool as the American-Flag-Blue-no-bid-$1.8-million-paint-job-costing-taxpayers-$14-million peels from the pool’s bottom, providing souvenirs for visitors to the nation’s capital. Trump predictably blames vandals for the botched paint job and calls out the national guard.

Several observers have characterized the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool disaster as the perfect metaphor for his entire presidency. Minnesota Governor Tim Walz summed it up nicely:

“Found an imaginary problem, said only they could fix it, didn’t listen to experts, hired buddies who grifted millions, failed miserably, bragged how great it went. The entire Trump presidency in a nutshell.”

Others, including Heather Cox Richardson, consider Trump’s Iran war debacle equally representative of his entire, disastrous presidency.

Scene Two: Obama’s Disastrous Nuclear Deal with Iran

It’s 2015, and Trump is reading from a teleprompter. “The Obama Administration’s agreement with Iran is very dangerous. The fact is, the U.S. has incompetent leaders and even more incompetent negotiators. We must do better for America and the world. We have to Make America Great Again.”

The camera then shows a quote from the JCPOA affirming that “under no circumstances will Iran ever seek, develop or acquire nuclear weapons,” followed by Trump’s May 2018 announcement that the United States would withdraw from the “disastrous” Iran nuclear deal, characterizing it as “one of the worst and dumbest” deals the country had ever signed, which “foolishly gave the Iranian regime a windfall of cash and access to the international financial system for trade and investment.”

After starting a war with Iran and Iran predictably getting the permanent upper hand by closing the Strait of Hormuz, Trump declares “total and complete victory” and an “imminent deal” with Iran, 38 times. Each time he announces victory with a peace deal on the way, White House insiders make millions on oil futures.

The camera then shows the following chart comparing Obama’s negotiated, diplomatic agreement JCPOA with Trump’s MOU to negotiate an end to the war and reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Trump was right, but he spoke 11 years too soon: “the U.S. has incompetent leaders and even more incompetent negotiators.”

Courtesy of David Cook, with Permission

Scene 3: Trump Insists the Most Incompetent, Unqualified Cabinet in History Stage Gushing, Servile Flattery with Cameras Rolling

Next is a series of scenes spotlighting key cabinet members, beginning with an image of each nominee seated before a senate committee for the confirmation hearing, followed by a retrospective spotlighting the nominee’s history which reveals the nominee’s comical ineptitude and incompetence for the position. [Plenty of material for JFK Jr., Noem, Hegseth, and Gabbard.]

Then, one-by-one, secretaries go around the cabinet room praising the dozing figure seated at the center of the table, each one trying to outperform the others in extolling his genius, dedication, patriotism, virility, energy, and his many single-handed accomplishments no other human in history is capable of.

The Homeland Security Secretary: “Sir, you made it through the hurricane season without a hurricane. You kept the hurricanes away.”

The Secretary of Health and Human Services stands, unbuttons his shirt, and takes it off. He flexes. “You, Mr. President, are a selfless empath. You are deeply concerned about humanitarian issues here and around the world. You are uniquely qualified to challenge oligarchs. You cannot be bought.”

When it’s the Attorney General’s turn, she compliments him for having saved 75% of the country’s population, 258 million American lives, from fentanyl poisoning after law enforcement seized 22 million pills.

The Secretary of State interjects “the president has brought an end to at least 12 wars,” adding “he deserves a Nobel Prize for each and every one.”

The Treasury Secretary lauds the president for going to war against Iran, something no other president had the courage to do, and for the positive impact bombing Iran is having on the world economy and the pocketbooks of everyday citizens.

The Secretary of War stands and proclaims, “you promised an unconditional surrender, Mr. President. I am honored we kept that promise to the American people and our friends and enemies throughout the world. And you did it without help from the cowardly, weak NATO countries who cannot even defend themselves. No one should question the fierce lethality of the United States Military. You are the no quarter, take-no-prisoners president.

“Now let us pray: ‘Dear Lord Almighty, we pray for overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy. We ask these things with bold confidence in the mighty and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.’”

Others chime in when it’s their turn.

“You are the only leader in the world who could do this.”

“You have done what nobody believed was possible. In fact, you have done the impossible.”

“All the people I’ve met across the country are grateful for your leadership.”

“It’s your fearlessness to take on these issues that no other presidents had the courage to touch.”

“Hard-working families, farmers, and small businesses express their gratitude and lined up to ask me to personally thank you.”

“You inherited a disaster, and Mr. President, you are the only person in the world capable of solving it.”

“You, sir, are fixing all the problems created by the Biden administration.”

“You are the only person who can save America.”[i]

“You have changed America and created the golden age.”

“You deserve tremendous credit. No, you deserve ALL the credit”[ii]

Scene 4: No Evidence is All the Proof We Need that Elections are Rigged

This scene begins with Trump encouraging his supporters from the Ellipse at the Jan. 6 “Stop the Steal” rally to march to the Capitol. “We fight. We fight like hell and if you don’t fight like hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore.”

Next is a montage showing violent rioters at the Capitol and Republican leaders fleeing for their lives. The montage concludes with a photo of the gallows assembled for the vice president’s execution next to Trump’s tweet at 2:24 p.m. while the riot was under way: “Mike Pence didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done.”

Next is a selection of Republican speeches from the floor of congress after they reconvene to vote on certifying the election, condemning the violence, and blaming Trump’s rhetoric and refusal to intervene.

Fast forward to the 2026 mid-term primaries. A reporter runs to catch up with Speaker Mike Johnson in the halls of Congress.

“Mr. Speaker. Mr. Speaker. The president claims the California election is rigged. What evidence is there that the election is rigged?”

“Look,” the speaker says with smug evangelical certitude, “some of these efforts are so diabolical and so far upstream it’s impossible to prove. But I think everybody knows instinctively that something is wrong here. The fact that we can’t prove it is all the proof we need. It’s no different than the 2020 election Trump won in a landslide except that fraud was on a much bigger scale and even more diabolical because it’s further upstream and even harder to prove.”

Scene 5: The Situation in the Situation Room

“There are only so many ways we can lie and stories we can tell with any consistency,” the vice president says to the small group assembled in the Situation Room. “We are out of runway. The only way to stanch the bleeding is to come clean, force Bondi and Blanch to release everything, unfiltered, and let the chips fall,” Vance, who is first-in-line to the presidency, adds.

Next is the Pod Force One podcast interview of Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who is mentioned more than 250 times in the released Epstein files. Lutnick lives six or seven steps from Epstein on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Lutnick and his wife visit Epstein in 2005, he explains, and after they left, he proudly claims, “My wife and I decided that I will never be in the room with that disgusting person again.”

Lutnick is now testifying before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee: “I have nothing to hide. Absolutely nothing.” He then admits that around Christmas 2012 — four years after Epstein’s solicitation of a child conviction and seven years after he and his wife vowed he would never be anywhere near Epstein — he and his family spent time on Epstein’s island with none other than Mr. Epstein.

He reassures the subcommittee: “My wife was with me, as were my four children and nannies. I had another couple. They were there as well with their children, and we had lunch on the island. . . . I did not have any relationship with him. I barely had anything to do with that person. Okay?”

The camera then shows photographs of Lutnick with Epstein at the compound on Little St. James, Epstein’s Caribbean Island, and the New York Times report that Epstein’s lawyer obtained the résumé of Mr. Lutnick’s nanny and forwarded it to Mr. Epstein to arrange a time for the two to “meet.”

To be continued.

*Robert Hodgson Van Wagoner, the talented fiction writer and novelist, is my brother. He deserves considerable credit for offering substantive and technical suggestions to my blog. His second novel, The Contortionists, which Rob himself narrates for the audio version, is a psychological page-turner about a missing child in a Mormon community. It is a literary masterpiece.

[i] Trump Is the Only Person Who Can Save America, According to His Cabinet, Ashley Cai, The New York Times, May 27, 2026.

[ii] Trump Cabinet members are so subservient that 1 of every 6 sentences they utter flatter the president, Ariana Baio, Independent (May 26, 2026).