The Limits of Free Will

Parshat Balak: An Unlikely Lesson from Bilaam’s Donkey

“How did you go bankrupt?” Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly.”

• Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

“It’s not what you say in the company-wide meeting. It’s not your marketing campaign. It’s not even what you believe. Who you are is what you do.”

— Ben Horowitz, What You Do is Who You Are

After several stages of negotiation with Balak’s emissaries, Bilaam the Prophet finally agrees to travel to Moav, ostensibly to curse the Jewish people. Thus begins one of the more unusual stories in the Torah. Bilaam saddles his donkey to make the journey, and an angel of G-d appears in their path, visible only to the donkey. Three times, the donkey, fearing the sword brandishing angel, attempts to abort the trip. Three times she is struck by Bilaam, who grows increasingly frustrated at his donkey’s intransigence. Finally, the donkey turns to Bilaam and begins to talk to him! It is only at this point that G-d allows Bilaam to see the Divine messenger that had been visible to the donkey.

Much of the well-known discussions of the commentators surrounding this story focus on the explicitly miraculous events of the angel’s appearance and the power of speech granted the donkey. However, lurking beneath the surface is a powerful lesson regarding the gift of free will that G-d has endowed within us.

The Torah tells us that Bilaam’s donkey stopped three times:

1. The first time was on the road, as “the donkey saw the angel of the Lord stationed on the road with his sword in his hand; so the donkey turned aside from the road and went into a field” (Bamidbar 22:23). Bilaam strikes her and she returns to the road.

2. The Torah then describes a scene where the angel “stood in a path of the vineyards, with a fence on this side and fence on that side. The donkey saw the angel of the Lord, and she was pressed against the wall” (Bamidbar 22:24–25). Bilaam’s leg is pressed against the wall, and once again, he strikes the donkey to get her to keep going.

3. Finally, the Torah describes the third encounter in the next verse: “The angel of the Lord continued going ahead, and he stood in a narrow place, where there was no room to turn right or left” (Bamidbar 22:26). The donkey once again hesitates, earning a third beating from Bilaam.

HaRav Chanoch Ehrentreu, ztl, the Av Beit Din of Munich (1854–1927), saw deep symbolism in the three locations where the donkey stopped. He explained that we can see how an individual possesses free will, the ability to independently choose the right or wrong path. But this capacity is not absolute. Depending on an individual’s actions, one’s ability to independently choose can change over time.

The first stage of our story, where the donkey originally saw the angel and stopped on the open road, symbolizes one’s initial encounter with a decision. There is wide latitude and plenty of room to maneuver. While it is seldom easy to make the right decision, at this juncture, one has ample opportunity to turn in one direction or another, or even turn back completely. Bilaam had the physical space to turn around and abandon this ill-conceived journey.

But Bilaam decided to proceed. One who ignores the opportunity to turn back and continues on the wrong path finds themselves, as Bilaam did, in a tight spot, with a fence on either side. The message? One who proceeds onward on a sinful path now has built some momentum to their decision. Perhaps they have told others about the intended destination, or they have gotten caught up in the energy of their mistaken direction. Or perhaps they have simply gotten used to the idea of the sin. As the Talmud notes in several places, Rav Huna taught in the name of Rav that a when a person sins once and then repeats the act, it becomes in his eyes as if it is permitted. At this stage, repentance is still possible, but one’s soul and the accompanying free will is in a tight spot. There is not much room to turn back, and it requires a significant struggle to do so.

Finally, at the third stop, Bilaam finds himself in a ‘narrow place,’ which the Torah describes as having no room to turn in one direction or another. Rav Ehrentreu explains that as an individual reaches this point, they are fully invested in the steps they have taken thus far. The power shifts to one’s evil inclination. A person becomes overwhelmed by the desire to do the wrong thing, or simply firmly cements the habit of his mistaken ways. Either way, repentance and change become immeasurably more difficult.

The ability to exercise free will is a remarkable Divine gift. But it is not absolute. It can be strengthened or degraded over time, not by virtue of our thoughts, but through our concrete actions. The more one invests their time, efforts, and resources into a particular direction, the less and less likely they are to change course. In many circumstances, the end result can sneak up on us. When we encounter a trait or set of circumstances that causes us pain or dissatisfaction, we can, with honest and clear-eyed introspection, often trace back the series of decisions or lack of decisions that slowly, consistently, got us to this point. As Hemingway writes, bankruptcy can emerge suddenly, but its underlying causes may have taken years to slowly develop.

How do we change? How do we become the person we want to be? How do we lead a family or an institution in the path we desire? Thoughts and speech are powerful. But it’s the actions, the habits, and the repeated steps that get us there.

We are taught from a young age that actions have consequences. The lesson of Bilaam’s donkey is that our actions do not simply cause an immediate result, but repeated over time, they will lead us down a path that can result in either great achievements and fulfillment, or deep disappointment and regret.