Revisiting Classic Movies

Revisiting: “Eight-Legged Freaks” (2002)…

Where were you when “Eight-Legged Freaks” hit the big screen?

Ellory Elkayem, despite Eight-Legged Freaks (2002) not immediately finding its metaphorical legs, delivered one of the greatest B-Movie tributes ever made. Brilliant is really the understatement of the decade. Eight-Legged Freaks, from a screenplay co-written by Elkayem and Jesse Alexander, perfectly exemplifies classic cinematic offerings of the 1950s.

In many ways, if you think about it, Eight-Legged Freaks has a particular vibe. It is reminiscent of both Scooby-Doo and Gremlins. If it weren’t for a meddling kid, highly intelligent, no one would have understood the threat. The threat, not from outer space, came from spiders that grew to an enormous size.

Eight-Legged Freaks, despite struggling to find an audience at the movie theater, is considered a cult classic. Curiously, since being released, Eight-Legged Freaks has been reappraised several times over the years.

There are thousands of arachnid species. Keeping the number fairly small but believable, in the movie, there are Orb-Weavers (Araneidae), massive Jumping Spiders (Salticidae), Black Widows, Tarantulas (Theraphosidae), Trapdoor Spiders (Ctenizidae), Spitting Spiders (Scytodidae), and Tiger Wolf Spiders.

Each spider species, with distinct personalities, makes odd sounds throughout the movie. It’s fairly funny. The sounds suggest both amusement and irritation. One orb-weaver spider, when attacking the diner, certainly didn’t like the taste of the stuffed moose’s head.

Synopsis…

The storyline is fairly straightforward. A reservoir, near the sleepy Arizona town of Prosperity, is accidentally contaminated with toxic chemical waste. What could go wrong?

Contaminated insects from the reservoir, including crickets, are fed to hundreds of exotic spiders at a local arachnid researcher’s farm. The spiders immediately mutate and subsequently grow to an enormous size.

The giant spiders escape. The researcher, not remotely lucky, is quickly devoured. The spiders soon find the abandoned Prosperity mines.

Perspective is everything. Human beings, unless we’re talking cannibals, typically don’t see human beings as food. The spiders have a clear motivation. Food.

Everything, including giant spiders, requires food. It’s not rocket science. The smaller male spiders are primarily out hunting human and animal prey. They take everything they catch back as food for Consuela. Consuela is the massive female giant orb-weaver who serves as the ultimate matriarch.

As the spiders attack Prosperity, the surviving townspeople retreat to the local shopping mall. Not everyone makes it to the mall. Many townspeople are carefully mummified by orb-weavers in silk cocoons, stockpiled, and presented as gifts for Consuela to feast on.

Spiders, because they can’t eat solid food, vomit powerful digestive enzymes into their prey. This, if you can picture it, turns the prey’s internal organs into a nutrient-rich soup. All that remains is a hollow husk. At least twice in the movie, reflecting what spiders do in real life, it is suggested that Consuela enjoys a meal.

Once they arrive at the mall, hoping it could be safer, several townspeople barricade themselves inside. Curiously, with little hope of survival, the townspeople attempt to escape through the mines. Many of the townspeople don’t make it out alive.

Massively underrated when released, not entirely surprising, Eight-Legged Freaks has found a place in cult classic history. Movie communities, in particular horror comedy fans, have come to appreciate the finer points of Eight-Legged Freaks that make the story tick. It is more than a simple creature feature.

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Main “Eight-Legged Freaks” Cast…

• David Arquette as Christopher “Chris” McCormick. Chris is the proprietor of a gold mine.
• Kari Wuhrer as Samantha “Sam” Parker. Sam is the sheriff of Prosperity.
• Scott Terra as Michael “Mike” Parker. Mike is the son of Samantha Parker.
• Doug E. Doug as Harlan Griffith. Harlan is an extraterrestrial enthusiast who owns his own radio station.
• Scarlett Johansson as Ashley Parker. Ashley is the daughter of Samantha Parker.
• Rick Overton as Deputy Peterson “Pete” Willis.
• Leon Rippy as Wade. Wade is the Mayor of Prosperity and Bret’s stepfather.
• Matt Czuchry as Bret. Bret is Ashley’s boyfriend and Wade’s stepson.

While David Arquette is possibly better known for the Scream franchise, mirroring Deputy Dwight “Dewey” Riley from said franchise, the performance is exceptionally goofy on numerous levels.

Christopher “Chris” McCormick, more than a little nervous when he’s around Sheriff Samantha “Sam” Parker, is charismatically charming. Chris isn’t exactly a hyper-masculine action hero.

Nor is Dewey. Both characters have a desire to do the right thing. Arquette, playing both characters with the same likeable vibe, brought to Eight-Legged Freaks the same quality work he presented in the first three Scream movies.

More recently, despite Eight-Legged Freaks being massively underrated at the time of release, a younger audience has discovered the movie.

A significant portion of the movie’s modern cult interest stems from younger audiences having discovered a young Scarlett Johansson. Since Iron Man 2 (2010), playing Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow, Johansson has become synonymous with the MCU. There are Black Widow spiders in Eight-Legged Freaks.

In Eight-Legged Freaks, long before making it big with the MCU, Johansson plays Ashley Parker. Ashley, somewhat rebellious, is the sheriff’s teenage daughter.

Deputy Peterson “Pete” Willis, played marvellously by Rick Overton, is exceptionally funny. Overton, despite playing a supporting role, gives us a fully rounded performance. Less is more. His facial expressions often eliminate the need for words.

Overton has one of those faces that people recognize from other productions. Anyone familiar with the television series Leverage (2008–2009) will immediately recognize Overton.

Overton, even though he only appeared in three Leverage episodes, made a huge impression on series fans. When it comes to Leverage fans, possibly, Overton will always be FBI Special Agent Taggert.