Teen Mothers and the Wrath of TikTok

How social media users are losing empathy and common sense

Lately, while excessively scrolling through my TikTok feed, I’ll come across a video of a teen mum, either discussing her pregnancy or parenthood, or simply showing viewers what a day in her life looks like. Then, reluctantly, I open the comments to find countless of comments saying ‘Becoming a mother in your teens is a stupid idea’, or berating her for having a child. And then I think to myself ‘Do they not know that she’s already had the baby? What will these comments achieve?’

Sure, having a baby in your teens is definitely not a good idea- there, I’ll say it. It will probably reduce your opportunities for education, careers, earnings, and not to mention the stress that will impact your well being. And sure, if you encounter a teenager who is planning to have a baby or is actively trying to have one, then yes, please try and discourage them. But hating on a teen mother and leaving nasty, unnecessary comments on her videos when she has already had the baby is completely pointless and quite frankly… stupid. What do you expect her to do- have an abortion when the child is two years old? Hey, I think some members of the republican party in the USA actually think that happens, so I shouldn’t joke about it! Once that baby is born, all you can do is try and provide that mother with the support she probably desperately needs. Teen mothers do not need shaming, they need a support network filled with kind individuals who can give her advice and a well needed shoulder to cry on.

I’ve identified a recent trend, where people on the internet will tell teen mothers to STOP PROMOTING AND GLORIFYING BEING A TEEN MOTHER. But is a teen mother simply posting a social media video about her life actually promoting being a teen mother or is she just posting a video about her life? I see it all the time. ‘This is my day in the life as a teen mother’, then followed by a sea of comments ‘WHY ARE YOU PROMOTING THIS?’. Is she not allowed to post a makeup or cooking or exercise or cleaning video to social media without being judged for her life choices (or perhaps a lack of choice)? I find it amusing when people make these comments, because a teen mother will probably be the first person to discourage someone from having a baby in their teens, because they have been through it themselves and know just how hard it is. I constantly see teen mothers (now grown up) celebrate the fact that their child has not followed the same path. I would find it difficult to find a teen mother who creates content encouraging others to have a baby at that age.

I would also like to touch on another trend of sorts that I have identified recently, a trend fuelled by misogyny and purity culture. This may sound like a bold statement, and people reading this may be ready to angrily disagree and argue with me, but I think teen mothers face more backlash than teen fathers- go on, hang me! I see videos of teen fathers with their child and the comments usually will say ‘Well done for stepping up as a father. You had the chance to run away and you didn’t. I commend you!’. On the other hand, comments on the teen mother’s post will say ‘What a slag! Just close your legs! How irresponsible! This is just sad!’. I find this difference in attitude appalling, sad and deeply sexist, rooted in such hateful views and ideology. Hundreds upon hundreds of comments praising a dad for not running away, but if a mum ran away she would be considered the most evil person on earth. Does society just have more empathy for men? Or do people just despise teen mothers for some strange reason?

Sure, there could be the argument that praising dads for stepping up or being hateful towards mothers encourages children to ‘make the right decisions’, but when such sexism and hate is employed to do so, is it worth it? Can people on the internet just.. be kind to others?

I’d like to leave you with a parting note. Next time you go to write a distasteful comment on a teen mother’s social media post, think to yourself, is this productive or this just unnecessary? Because she probably receives abuse about her parenting status on the daily, and your comment will not help her or discourage anyone from having a baby. Your comment will only make that young girl hate herself and not reach out for support.

Be wise about your social media usage. Be empathetic, think critically, and have some god-damn common sense.