EVERYBODY’S GOT ONE DEPT.

5 Reasons Why Cornhole is the Greatest Sport Ever

It’s even better than curling

Yay! You almost made it! (Image by author [CC BY-SA 4.0] based on photos by Michael Rivera [CC BY-SA 4.0] and Phillips Academy [CC BY-SA 4.0])

1. The name.

How often do you get to hear the word cornhole on a channel that doesn’t require age verification and a credit card?

2. Elite fan base.

Millions of people watch football, baseball, and basketball, and they all know more about those games than you do. On the other hand, approximately 12 people watch cornhole on a regular basis, and at least four of them are paid to do so. You can hold court with your asinine theories on behind-the-back hole penetration strategies, and no one around you will be any the wiser.

3. No skin-tight uniforms.

And it’s a good thing, too! Who wants to see flabby bowling league rejects wearing spandex and codpieces outside of a sci-fi convention?

4. You could be a pro.

Most sports require skill, fitness, grit, and determination, none of which you possess. However, any inept loser can throw beanbags at a hole across the room. You don’t even have to make it in the hole.

5. That’s all.

Did you really think there were five reasons? Seriously?

If that wasn’t enlightening enough, here Srini waxes poetic on man’s true favorite sport:

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Then Oscar Rhea shares a very unexpected family moment:

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And Debdutta Pal gives us some tips on how to do what we’re already painfully experts at here:

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